Recent content by grapevine

  1. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Going back to rugs. Hes been off his medication for 6 weeks now. Changed his mind to go to the doctor so many times and then his dr goes on xmas holidays and rugs doesnt like the duty nurses giving him the jab of medicine roughly. But he is unable to fore see any of this. Anyways hes been crazy...
  2. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    So glad all the 'social' stuff of the silly season and early year stuff has finally finished. I can relax. But rugs stuff - the toxic banter of dominance and craziness literally feels like a hammer on my brain. Ive pretty much treated myself so badly putting up with his mental illness. I mean...
  3. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    I quiver everytime he gets me these gifts. It can really hurt actually because you realise how far down the rabbit hole he is in his mind. And how much time your giving this person and your future. I told him i wasnt feeling well and id unwrap them later. He hands me this brown wrapped paper -...
  4. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    So i hope that everyone on here had something that made them smile this xmas. Its the 29th today, only a short time till the end of this year and start of 2020 - the year of vision as my dad says lol. This year, the highlight for me was in the winter time and going with rugs to see Aladdin at...
  5. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Its really come to the point where im missing out on things because of rugs and my sp. He came over tonight to see me and was talking in the persona of severe arrogant and delusional of his abilities and iq and all that - his schizophrenia way too much for me to deal with. He has no care in...
  6. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    argh dont even know where i was going in the post above. I feel in the midst of depression and compulsion to binge eat constantly. ive put on so much weight thru stress and binging over the past fewyears and im trying to work out how i used to not do this. Its not nice being fat at a time when...
  7. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    I can move out, but i dont really want to and dont really need to i suppose. Living on 5acres of beautiful scenery and my chickens and garden, its been a dream - but with that comes a little lack of independence - which clearly sets off when my sister comes down and her kids and they rule...
  8. grapevine

    Huge family xmas party this year 2019, should i go?

    I've been having anxiety attacks over a looming Xmas party this year in December. The whole side of my mums family will be there, and we haven't had all the family get together in a long time. We usually have Xmas over my place with half of the family and those are usually the non-posh ones and...
  9. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    The thing with GAD and SP within my family is that I cant run away from things when i need to. So now that my sister has children age 6 and 8, and they stay over our place ( i live on 7 acres with my mum and dad ) it means my stress goes way way way up so high that i can't deal with it except...
  10. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    This baby sitting is torture for an anxious person cause the kids are so bossy and energetic and in your face. Cant eat without them in your personal space, or go toliet without them banging on the door. There is no way to have space except deal with the concequences of having a breather in my...
  11. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Thanx Miserum. Really helped. I do make things into mountains. I havent been on here, but i used be on here all the time and it really did help. Ive faded in having my own time really and so find it an indulgedence more now. But really it needs toch means more out be a daily thing because it...
  12. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    ththatWell my life has felt like one big co-dependence of people, people dependent on me more than i on them and me struggling to get any form of independence. Like its always been with my mum. Shes got 30 percent hearing and was born like that. Ive had to be her saviour in many ways, she doesnt...
  13. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    I really need to come on here and be more active like i used to. I just kinda squash everything away that is my own pandora's box and part of that is not coming on here. It's not my natural instinct to hold things in. And i usually just come on when i have blushing with pms and it feels so...
  14. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    Havent been on here in a while. I feel so old. Even tho people see me young, Im packing on alot of health issues at the moment all from acute stress of the past few years. Sciatica is one and its painful, then theres depression, adrenal fatigue and the ongoing stress that i find so hard to...
  15. grapevine

    Off my chest rants- or how not to live your life

    I feel so alone. My cognitive ability has gone down from staying up last night to make a dolls house for my niece, which has been fun. But I recently saw my therapist and her reflections on my recent issues showed that I was getting more and more realising that rugs is just too much, too much...
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