My therapist have given me some homework. One thing I'm suppose to do, is to make eye contact with other people. So today I tried it in some stores. With random people I met it doesnt work, since they don't look at me. But I testet it in checkout at some food stores. It went very fine. I did not feel ignored, and I felt accepted everywhere. What an amazing feeling.
But then something weired happened later in another store I was shopping for groceries. I came to checkout and this really cute girl was sitting there staring at me. I stared here right in the eyes. She didnt say a word, just kept staring, and I stared back. Suddenly I just smiled at here and said "Hi" with a "charming tone". That is so not me. I will usually avoid eye contact and if someone looks at me, I will look down. And I said hi to the girl while looking here in the eyes. That is progress. However she didnt repsond but looked down and start scanning my groceries. When she was done, she looked me in the eyes, and asked if I needed a bag. I told her no, while looking here in the eyes. She then told me what to pay, and I payed with card. When payment was accepted, instead of turning around and start packing my groceries, I stood there waiting and stared at here. She looked back at me and asked if I wanted the receit. She then smiled at me and said good-bye.
That felt so good. Usually I will avoid eye contact at all cost, dont talk to anyone, and get the hell out of there, cause I'm so affraid of making a fool of myself. Then getting home depressed, thinking nobody likes me. Today I thinking the girl actually looked at me (for a long time), she was nice and she smiled at me. I felt accepted, and who knows, maybe she liked me...
Sorry if my English is a little bad. I just wanted to get this out. I really can't wait til my next appointment with my therapist so I can tell her what happen. Last time I told her about 4 siuations where I could get social contact, but I avoided all 4. She was shaking her head when she heard how I avoided these situations.
But then something weired happened later in another store I was shopping for groceries. I came to checkout and this really cute girl was sitting there staring at me. I stared here right in the eyes. She didnt say a word, just kept staring, and I stared back. Suddenly I just smiled at here and said "Hi" with a "charming tone". That is so not me. I will usually avoid eye contact and if someone looks at me, I will look down. And I said hi to the girl while looking here in the eyes. That is progress. However she didnt repsond but looked down and start scanning my groceries. When she was done, she looked me in the eyes, and asked if I needed a bag. I told her no, while looking here in the eyes. She then told me what to pay, and I payed with card. When payment was accepted, instead of turning around and start packing my groceries, I stood there waiting and stared at here. She looked back at me and asked if I wanted the receit. She then smiled at me and said good-bye.
That felt so good. Usually I will avoid eye contact at all cost, dont talk to anyone, and get the hell out of there, cause I'm so affraid of making a fool of myself. Then getting home depressed, thinking nobody likes me. Today I thinking the girl actually looked at me (for a long time), she was nice and she smiled at me. I felt accepted, and who knows, maybe she liked me...
Sorry if my English is a little bad. I just wanted to get this out. I really can't wait til my next appointment with my therapist so I can tell her what happen. Last time I told her about 4 siuations where I could get social contact, but I avoided all 4. She was shaking her head when she heard how I avoided these situations.
