loneliness and other bullshit

lifesnotfair

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
Right now i am just so pissed ff with life. its so frustratisng that i am theonly guy out of all the people i know that is single, has no interests, does not want to go out, and have women reject him all the time

people tell me i should get out and try and meet new people. Well i am not exaggerating when i tell you that every attempt in me doing this has been a clusterfuck, and has turned out to be a very bad experience. I have not had one experience when i have gone to meet new people that has turned out to be positive. So i have no reason to go out again, little lone want to get into that situation again.

You may think, well.. its hopeless then. I totally agree. I am tired of seeing all my friends happy, married, or in a relationship. ven they have a life. I know people half my age that are more successful than i am. My brother and sister have a way better life than i do, and i am the older one of them.

to sum it up, give up on getting a women, because it is so very hopeless for me to even dream about getting a women. I was confident and sure of myself once, however it did not make a difference if i was confident or not, Girls hated me, they thought i was a nerd or a geek, i was different, always got made fun of, and people expect me to actually leave all that in the past and continue on with your life. Well if you have had nothing but bad experiences in your life, it is impossible to think that your life is going to change for the better.

oh btw, there is this person who i like, however every women that i like is not single and won't give me the time of day. well fuck it, life suxs and apparently so do i
 
Tab

Tab

Well-known member
I know how you feel, all my friends and almost everyone in my family (brother, sister, and cousins) are in relationships while I have yet to experience anything close to what they experience with the people they love. My parents and grandparents are always saying oh well go get a job and you'll come out of your shell, you'll meet new people. Well I've tried to and I can't. Frankly I don't want to when I feel like crap all the time. I want to meet new people so bad but I just can't get out there. I know how you feel buddy.
 
Kien

Kien

Well-known member
A good thing is that you don't fall for the "there's someone for everyone". You see the truth and doesn't give yourself false hope. I see it as natural that I wont have any woman. Some people can not attract the opposit gender. But a lot of people are stupid and doesn't understand this.
 
kittykat90

kittykat90

Member
hello

yeah i agree like is fuck i hate life better off dead. but im in the same situation aswell im 17 and a vergin crist how embarrising.

if you want you can pm


:) ill look forward to talking to you
 
lifesnotfair

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
and y not? why should i not stress over it. I am nearly 30 years old and never have kissed a girl, little lone had a relationship with one. Which is sad isn't it :(
 
SocialRetahd

SocialRetahd

Well-known member
IcarusUnderWater2 said:
lifesnotfair said:
and y not? why should i not stress over it. I am nearly 30 years old and never have kissed a girl, little lone had a relationship with one. Which is sad isn't it :(
Click to expand...

Its not sad. You have all the experiences in front of you but you have to make sure you do something to make them happen. Everything is in front of you!!
Click to expand...

Inexperience is not a good quality.

I am upset that I was even born into this superficial world that makes you feel like shit for things you have no control over.
 
Cool_Un_Cool

Cool_Un_Cool

Well-known member
Hey, you're talking to a guy who has never had anyone.
My own sister said I am "pathetic."
...She's right...but who gives a s**t, she's miserable and married to an a**hole.
Either way, no one is happy, believe me, practically every relationship I've been a witness to is either a failure, or f***ing chaotic.
 
scorpion

scorpion

Well-known member
Cool_Un_Cool wrote:

Hey, you're talking to a guy who has never had anyone.

You can find lots of people in your exact situation in this site, lots and lots
Men and women alike
Teens and not so young
From all over the world

In some ways, finding out we are not freaks is conforting.

And to reply to everyone that posts that crap about loving yourself, rising sel estem, grabing live, etc, that doesnt happen.
In my case, i suffer from APD its a personalitie disorder, a disease, a mental disorder, it has no cure. Meds and terapie and all the other stuff helps a bit diminishes the symphtoms but doesnt solve the problem, there is no magical solution.
I will always be diferent from my few friends
Problably i will die alone ( 99% sure), i wont have the expiriences that most normal people have troughout their lifes, love and stuff, I wont be able to do the things I planed or like or really love, just because I cant, I want to but I cant. Thats the trajedy of the problem, I now very well what i want, but i just cant persue it.
I am my worst enemie, i know that, I am perfectly aware of my problems, but I cant defeat them, I cant defeat Myself.
Fighting myself everyday is becaming extremly exausting, and the results are not that big.
When I read this advices that make everything sound so easy I feel like 8O 8O 8O
 
scorpion

scorpion

Well-known member
We can find lots of people that understand us in this site, the real problem is to find them near us.
Most people just gives up on us, or thinks we are freaks, weird, pathetic, ridiculous, or stupid.
The sad thing is that almost all think we are like this because we choose, its very hard to make people understand that a disease like this its as incapacitating as a fisical disease like a stoke, or cancer or sclerosis.
 
Cool_Un_Cool

Cool_Un_Cool

Well-known member
She masks these comments as jokes, which i am always the butt of.
Her husband constantly belittles me, I'm the general target of mockery.
I guess I make others feel better about themselves. :?
 
Kien

Kien

Well-known member
My sister have several times said something similart with "how does it feel to be a total failure?". :/
 
theman

theman

Well-known member
Hey Kien, your sister must have REAL self esteem problems to put down her own brother. Most often, when people put others down it is a desperate attempt to raise their own self-esteem. She should be ashamed of herself for doing it to her own brother. I feel sorry for her.

Hey KittyKat, you think being a virgin at 17 is bad? I was one till 27.

Hey LIFESNOTFAIR. The coolest thing about you is your NAME is actually the solution to your problems, and the greatest thing about life.

Right now life IS not fair. Nothing is going your way. I was right there with you. But what I found out is that life truly is not fair, and that can be a GOOD thing.

Because you can also LEARN better social skills, dating skills, and even get therapy for any tougher anxiety problems. It is tough to admit to yourself that you need these things, and even tougher to actually tell someone in person that you need help, but that may be exactly what you need to do.

Nothing you said in your post is unfixable - but they take a LOT of courage to face, deconstruct, and fix.

Soon, the concept that "LIFE IS NOT FAIR" could be working FOR you instead of AGAINST you. You could start to become VERY GOOD with women and friends and anything you want and then other people would be looking at YOU saying "LIFE'S NOT FAIR - WHY CAN'T I HAVE GIRLS AND FRIENDS LIKE HIM!"

The most beautiful concept in the natural world is "LIFE IS NOT FAIR." It permits evolution, survival of the fittest, allows people to go from being very poor to very rich, and lets the shy and socially challenged become the greatest players out there. I'm proof. I was much worse off than you. Used to pray every night that I wouldn't wake up the next morning.

In spite of all the negative things you say about yourself, it seems to me that you're pretty smart.

Your problems are not what you think they are. Right now, your only problems are pride and shame.
 
Kien

Kien

Well-known member
theman said:
Hey Kien, your sister must have REAL self esteem problems to put down her own brother. Most often, when people put others down it is a desperate attempt to raise their own self-esteem. She should be ashamed of herself for doing it to her own brother. I feel sorry for her.

Hey KittyKat, you think being a virgin at 17 is bad? I was one till 27.
Click to expand...
She has no problem with self esteem, we became real friends again last week, we havn't had much conversations since last time i said that I wanted to kill her about 4 years ago.

Hehe if it wasn't becouse of you slow girls, loosing virginity would happen some where after start school. Heh and btw, I think it was 5 years since I last even hugged a girl.
 
Sacrament

Sacrament

Well-known member
Re: hello

kittykat90 said:
im 17 and a vergin crist how embarrising.
Click to expand...

That's ridiculous, not only because you cannot spell, but because you are dying to lose your virginity at the age of 17.
 
nandito

nandito

Member
theman said:
Hey Kien, your sister must have REAL self esteem problems to put down her own brother. Most often, when people put others down it is a desperate attempt to raise their own self-esteem. She should be ashamed of herself for doing it to her own brother. I feel sorry for her.

Hey KittyKat, you think being a virgin at 17 is bad? I was one till 27.

Hey LIFESNOTFAIR. The coolest thing about you is your NAME is actually the solution to your problems, and the greatest thing about life.

Right now life IS not fair. Nothing is going your way. I was right there with you. But what I found out is that life truly is not fair, and that can be a GOOD thing.

Because you can also LEARN better social skills, dating skills, and even get therapy for any tougher anxiety problems. It is tough to admit to yourself that you need these things, and even tougher to actually tell someone in person that you need help, but that may be exactly what you need to do.

Nothing you said in your post is unfixable - but they take a LOT of courage to face, deconstruct, and fix.

Soon, the concept that "LIFE IS NOT FAIR" could be working FOR you instead of AGAINST you. You could start to become VERY GOOD with women and friends and anything you want and then other people would be looking at YOU saying "LIFE'S NOT FAIR - WHY CAN'T I HAVE GIRLS AND FRIENDS LIKE HIM!"

The most beautiful concept in the natural world is "LIFE IS NOT FAIR." It permits evolution, survival of the fittest, allows people to go from being very poor to very rich, and lets the shy and socially challenged become the greatest players out there. I'm proof. I was much worse off than you. Used to pray every night that I wouldn't wake up the next morning.

In spite of all the negative things you say about yourself, it seems to me that you're pretty smart.

Your problems are not what you think they are. Right now, your only problems are pride and shame.
Click to expand...

I'm agree with you theman. I'm 28 never been in a relationship, but in the last few months I've been meeting new people, going to therapy, doing volunteering, and I'm being dating (I'm surprise that my date sees me as a very mature and attractive guy, she calls me quite often, I feel like stupid having so many negative ideas about me for years, and finding that a lot of people actually likes me, I LOST TIME CAUSE OF MY WORRIES).

So far I'm still anxious, I still have panic attacks and still have bad sleep, this is because I've been a person with a negative mentality all my life, so to change that mind setup is not a thing you can do in a short time.
But I found that, as long as I keep interacting with people, I have less time to worries. As a matter of fact in the last few months I've been listening inspiring stories about life, I've been into events that I never dreamed I'd ever be, so far it's feels good.

Man it is good to feel, at least for few hours that I'm not the center of my worries, that I can help other people, that other people have worst problems than me (I feel sometimes so selfish...), that I can enjoy little things during a day.

A read from a psychotherapist that there is a thing the we should learn to use since kids, and that is TIME, organize yourself to work/study, but also how to use your free time to socialize, enjoy yourself, meeting people, know places in your city that you've never been to, even if that is a big challenge.

It is never too late. But certainly the sufferer is the one that has to push him/her self in a position that can help them to heal, and that takes patience and hard work.

Cheers.
 
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