Hello everyone. It's been a long time since I posted here, 27 now, nothing much has changed...
Basically... I don't don't do anything, outside the house anyway. Don't work any more (desperately need to find the optimism to), don't go out, don't have a single friend. Never really did. Never got close to someone. Had a few nice moments that made me feel optimistic, back when I did work, thought things were changing... but then you turn around when it finishes and you realise that nothing came of it.
I would really like to find some people (or someone) that I really get on well with... and to do that you usually need to meet lots of people... and that won't happen sat at home.
But nothing interests me... I do like a few things... but even those don't really make me interested... not enough, not really.
Social anxiety... how hard it is do get yourself to do things... never, ever meeting the right people... optimism which has long since left me... they all certainly play a part in it, but it's really bad now. I would just much prefer to be at home watching YouTube or sleeping my life away. Which is terrible... but that is literally what I'd prefer to do. You can't force yourself to like things... so what do you do?
I've looked through sites which advertise groups and volunteering, but it's the same as looking for jobs... I go into it with optimism, but it quickly disappears when I realise nothing makes me want to do it... there's just nothing...
I tried going to an astronomy club for a while because I have a vague interest in it but apart from feeling good that I tried something, I didn't get much from it. I went along a few times between mid 2012 to mid 2013... such a long time ago now.
Plus I'd really like to aim for something which might give me some chance of meeting people in their twenties because I feel I've missed to much already... so that makes it harder...
I don't know what to do... you can try random things but I'm not sure it's the right thing to do any more unless I get really lucky... I hope this all make some sense...
Basically... I don't don't do anything, outside the house anyway. Don't work any more (desperately need to find the optimism to), don't go out, don't have a single friend. Never really did. Never got close to someone. Had a few nice moments that made me feel optimistic, back when I did work, thought things were changing... but then you turn around when it finishes and you realise that nothing came of it.
I would really like to find some people (or someone) that I really get on well with... and to do that you usually need to meet lots of people... and that won't happen sat at home.
But nothing interests me... I do like a few things... but even those don't really make me interested... not enough, not really.
Social anxiety... how hard it is do get yourself to do things... never, ever meeting the right people... optimism which has long since left me... they all certainly play a part in it, but it's really bad now. I would just much prefer to be at home watching YouTube or sleeping my life away. Which is terrible... but that is literally what I'd prefer to do. You can't force yourself to like things... so what do you do?
I've looked through sites which advertise groups and volunteering, but it's the same as looking for jobs... I go into it with optimism, but it quickly disappears when I realise nothing makes me want to do it... there's just nothing...
I tried going to an astronomy club for a while because I have a vague interest in it but apart from feeling good that I tried something, I didn't get much from it. I went along a few times between mid 2012 to mid 2013... such a long time ago now.
Plus I'd really like to aim for something which might give me some chance of meeting people in their twenties because I feel I've missed to much already... so that makes it harder...
I don't know what to do... you can try random things but I'm not sure it's the right thing to do any more unless I get really lucky... I hope this all make some sense...
