I ruined my life

:evil:

Emma, is he still trying to get into contact with you? If he is, you should take the first step and get a restraining order against him. He sounds mentally and morally unstable.

How old are you? Ok...you have made a mistake. But it is not the end of your life! Try to avoid this all or nothing thinking. You need to talk with others and get help with this struggle.

hi Emma....i don't think you ruined your life..i think this guy sounds like kind of a jackass though....maybe took advantage of you?....but don't be too hard on yourself...if i were you i would not see him again..sounds like he's just using you now, big time :!: ....and don't feel badly because you tried to have a relationship and it didn't work out...lots of people have been through shit like that...especially, i think, people with anxiety and other issues...cause...we don't always trust our own judgement or actions...i wouldn't see or talk to him anymore..he sounds kind of creepy...and at least give yourself credit for attempting to have a relationship

Honestly, you shouldn't feel like a loser. You did absolutely nothing wrong.

You just did everything any normal person would do. Yes, looking back you may have put a little too much trust in him seeing you met him as a stranger from the internet, but being easy to trust others is not something to blame a person for. Yes you may have spent the night with him, but at the time that you did there was no reason to question him. What's wrong with being with a person you like after all?

As you described it, the only person with real issues was the other guy. From the story it's pretty much easy to make out that there's something mentally wrong with him and that he is a confused man.

Look at it from the upside, the bad experience as a whole is over and you've learned from it. You know now that you should be more cautious with learning people from the internet, and from the odds of you being tricked by another such person are practically non-existent.

Looking back it was a bad period of your life, but you survived, grew from the experience, and are a stronger person as you stand today.

:>>>>>>>

Emma said:

I was in contact with him until yesterday when he told me all that creepy stuff about him and this other guy, he told me that I was a freak and that he would call the police on me if he ever heard from me again :!:
I'm 20 years old.....I guess I should have known better.
He could never actually look me in the eye, and he always smiled..constantly, like his face couldn't change. I feel physically sick and all filthy now. Am I actually the weird one? :?

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no, you're not the weird one :!: ...and he says you're a freak and would call the cops on you if he heard from you??!!..that kills me...he's the freak Emma...you were taken advantage of...i would just move on..forget about this creep..and take care of you :wink:

He just wanted an easy lay.

:roll:

he would call the police on me if he ever heard from me again

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I would hit him before he hits me anyway. You obviously don't want him anymore, do you? That's why you said you ruined your life. If so, leave him a message that makes it loud and clear. Tell him you'd call police if he ever comes near your house or even call you back. Never give a second chance anymore becasue you gave him many second chances and he screwed them all up. :evil:

He's not worth it plus a person who doesn't look people in the eye + smiles all the time + has sex with the two sexes at one time DOES NOT seem like a nice guy. :x

Emma said:

Yeah, you're probably right on that one, but he likes guys, why me? I'm not a guy and I don't think I look like one :roll:

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Probably a bissexual, or maybe the other guy he was thinking of was a friend of his who might have his way with you as well. It's probably what you were in for if you had done it.

HE LIKE KANGAROO ''TAIL'' ?

EMMA, you should go to a doctor and get checked out completely for S.T.D's. If he was a bi-sexual, he probably even screwed all the kangaroos in your australia. You did nothing to make you feel like a looser..but you should deal with your hurt in the best way possible and then just chalk it up to ''an experience', but one that you wisely learned a lesson from. Wash your hands free of this shithead you met online...realize there are some truly crappy people on this planet, and in the end..with karma..they will get what they deserve. ALSO remember this...this the most important...remember that there also very good people in the world. Remember..there are many more good people in the world, the minority is the bad. Stay away from the negative, always stay on the positive and you will live wiser and better. :wink:

Emma said:

I was in contact with him until yesterday when he told me all that creepy stuff about him and this other guy, he told me that I was a freak and that he would call the police on me if he ever heard from me again :!:
I'm 20 years old.....I guess I should have known better.
He could never actually look me in the eye, and he always smiled..constantly, like his face couldn't change. I feel physically sick and all filthy now. Am I actually the weird one? :?

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Emma im sorry to that you went through all of this....honestly it took alot of courage to go through with mountain climbing date and you did nothing wrong at all but as for him calling you a freak..just try and forget about him and focus on the future if you can...try and bury that incident into the sand and move on....youve done nothing wrong I would stay away from him

What the others said was really true Emma. You didn't ruin your life.Good and bad things are equally helpful so as to gain experience and not do the same things again. Consider that if you hadn't gone through this,you wouldn't have learned to avoid these things. I'm only a year older than you Emma,I understand how you feel,you just wanted sb to rely on,sb who could really love you. But my advice is to stop being at dating sites,they're very dangerous,especially when you meet someone. I've heard of many weird things that have happened here from sites like that. Surely there are nice guys there too,or people like you,wanting sth serious,but I wouldn't trust someone wanting to have a relationship from a dating site. The majority of these people lie about themselves. In my opinion,the specific person wasn't just a gay or something. He was thoroughly corrupt and also a person with a personality disorder. So,let the past and try to find somebody in real life. It's the only way to have a healthy relationship.

If he tries to contact you don't answer and just stay the hell away from him. Sounds like he was let out of the lunatic asylum.

Emma said:

Yeah, you're probably right on that one, but he likes guys, why me? I'm not a guy and I don't think I look like one :roll:

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I guess he is bisexual or gay and maybe he is still trying to figure that out for himself and therefore acts so strangely.
He seems to be someone with severe issues himself and you shouldn't think that you are the weird one here!
The fact that he emailed you like ten times a day from the beginning shows that he was up to something, that he was planning to lure you into this and being socially anxious, you must have liked the attention eventhough in the back of your mind you also thought his behaviour wasn't really normal to begin with, which I don't think you should blame yourself for! I think he may already knew that he was gay, but might have problems accepting it and therefore tried with a girl and forced both of you into it ? He says that his parents didn't like you, so maybe unconsciously this is what he wanted : that his parents would reject you, 'a girl' so he could go back to seeing boys and yet still use you for getting rid of his frustrations or still doesn't know what he wants?

This is just what came into my mind after reading your story, the truth may be different or a lot more complicated but probably you will sense that the best.

I think you also should ignore him from now on. This guy is obviously not trustworthy. But on the other hand, you could also see the positive side of it since you said that the expereince has also opened doors for you

Wow, thanks for all your answers, it's comforting to know that someone might actually care.
I guess I learnt a lesson from all this though....

Emma, don't worry it's a mistake you made and now you are stronger because of it. We all make em, and we'll make some more!

And for goodness sakes you are NOT a loser! That guy is a complete jackass, and like many have suggested a lunatic as well. I hope you never have to speak to him again, that is trouble you definately don't need!!! That restraining order against him idea is a very good one, keep that in mind if he starts to harass you again.

I hope you are feeling better!