I hate this

Alaina

Alaina

Member
I don't mind myself as a person, but the problem is that no one else EVER likes me. And that is because I have a crap personality, am quiet, and am not very fun. And have rubbish social skills. I desperately want to find someone who cares about me, but nobody ever does. Everyone likes everyone else, and everyone is fun, and I am not.

How the hell am I supposed to carry on when I am so unliked and unloved and unloveable?
 
pixiebabi

pixiebabi

Member
y'kno theres a saying that goes 'everybody has somebody that loves them somewhere out there'

and i find it hard to believe no one likes you, i actually made some of my friends for being nice and quiet. im not the most fun person in the world but my friends still care for me. just have a little patience you'll find the right people. =)
 
DYiNG-iNSiDE

DYiNG-iNSiDE

Well-known member
im the same way ppl would just think i want attention or wanted them tosay good stuff about me if i said i know no1 likesme but its totally true i see it in their eyes my grandparents, ppl at school, cousins, aunts, uncles, EVERYONE. it rllydoes suck ive tried so hard 2 be the person i think they want me 2 be but it never works.
 
JamesMorgan

JamesMorgan

Well-known member
Alaina,

I can agree with you if you wish, maybe then you'll feel better but what you are saying, you need to conduct an experiment to see for yourself if what you are thinking is true or not, then, without any doubt you can prove to yourself that you are not being deceived.

'No one ever likes you', is this really true? or is it just what you believe?

'Crap personality' - have you? or is this just what you really believe?

If what you have said is true then you have a choice to accept it, then change, if it is not true, you should abandon all those same thoughts because you know them to be false, deceptive, untrue and just an error in your thinking.

James
 
C

cherish

Well-known member
Alaina, i've had those same kinds of feelings but you got to believe they're not true. The only difference between you and the people who seem to have great personalities and friends and relationships is that they believe that they are capable of it and already have all those things. What i've done is act like i already have all those things even though it's a total lie I just pretend my ass off and it makes a big difference, those things actually start coming to you. But you have to believe you deserve it because you do. Just because you don't seem to have it right now doesn't mean you can't and that you aren't worthy of it, that's just crap. I guarentee that you are not any less enteresting than the other people you compare yourself to, you have to believe that and act from it.
 
emmdee

emmdee

Well-known member
No, you're not.
You just think that. And cherish is completely and utterly correct. If you believe you are interesting and sexy, then guess what? You're interesting and sexy. If you don't believe you are, then you still are, but it is not shown to the people around you. However, i would caution you: do not go as far as to lie your way into friendships. This only results in deceit, and the friendship will never be true. They will only use you for what you lied about.
I already like you. And yes, what i am saying is true. I don't lie.
And i know exactly what you're going through.
Add me if you wish, <3
 
van_sp

van_sp

Active member
cherish said:
Alaina, i've had those same kinds of feelings but you got to believe they're not true. The only difference between you and the people who seem to have great personalities and friends and relationships is that they believe that they are capable of it and already have all those things. What i've done is act like i already have all those things even though it's a total lie I just pretend my ass off and it makes a big difference, those things actually start coming to you. But you have to believe you deserve it because you do. Just because you don't seem to have it right now doesn't mean you can't and that you aren't worthy of it, that's just crap. I guarentee that you are not any less enteresting than the other people you compare yourself to, you have to believe that and act from it.
Click to expand...

^^^ This post kicks serious ass! I've been reading up on this kind of thing lately and have started putting this into practice and it really does work.
Your thoughts make up who you are. "I have a crap personality, am quiet, and am not very fun", this statement is like poison to your personality. The more you think like this, the more you become this. You need to change your thoughts for the positive and visualize yourself the way you want people to see you.
I recommend reading, "What to Say When You Talk to Your Self" by Shad Helmstetter. He gives you step by step instructions on how to go about doing this. Here is the link:
http://www.amazon.com/What-When-Talk-Your-Self/dp/0671708821
Please check it out, I wish I would have years ago...
 
Alaina

Alaina

Member
Hi, thank you for the replies, they've made me feel a bit better. I will try to take the advice here. :) xx

What's hard is to not compare myself to all the other people around me who seem so much more interesting/fun/talkative/liked. But there is someone I know who is quiet and was not liked by the 'cool' people at school, but who has now become so content with herself and is liked by the many people in her life, because she's found her place in the world and she's happy with herself. I guess that's what I need to try to do too. (sorry that is a bit of a garbled sentence back there but oh well)
 
Moonie

Moonie

Well-known member
Well one of the worst things about SA, is that it is difficult to find people who are willing to get to know you. I often find that most people can connect with others easily. People don't have the patience to get to know you if you don't warm up to them easily.

But, some people will try and persist. You just have to be patient and know that it can come along. I actually met my current BF online. For me, it is easier to open up online (like most people) and it made things less weird.
 
DYiNG-iNSiDE

DYiNG-iNSiDE

Well-known member
i know what you mean moonie. i wish so much ppl would just work at talkin to me and makin me comfortable then theyd c the real me but hardly anyone has the patience for that :( especially guys.
 
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