Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-08-2017
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 10
Thanked 0 Times
johndoe54 johndoe54 is offline
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 10
Thanked 0 Times
So along with being shy I find often I am incoherent when speaking, my mind tends to panic and the words that come up are all jumbled. If I ever am asked to explain anything I automatically panic and doubt myself.

Does anyone have any tips on how to improve this aspect?

There isn't really anyone close to me I feel able to talk to this about.
johndoe54 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-08-2017
Sacrament's Avatar
Elite User
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Portugal
Posts: 1,872
Thanked 212 Times
Sacrament Sacrament is offline
Elite User
Sacrament's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Portugal
Posts: 1,872
Thanked 212 Times
Keep practicing, and don't go into a conversation already assuming you'll panic and mess up. Shift your focus from your own words and onto what the other person is saying. Ask them questions and slow your mind down while it's forming thoughts that will become words.
Sacrament is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sacrament For This Useful Post:
Lionhearted (11-09-2017)
Old 11-09-2017
Pacific_Loner's Avatar
Pirate from the North Pole
Elite User
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Here and there
Posts: 2,131
Thanked 126 Times
Pacific_Loner Pacific_Loner is offline
Pirate from the North Pole
Elite User
Pacific_Loner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Here and there
Posts: 2,131
Thanked 126 Times
Oh yes I have this problem too (as most people here I guess?), so I suppose I'm not the best one to give advice on that matter, BUT, when I take my time to find the right words, I find it helps. Focus on the person's words when they talk, focus on your own words when you talk, even if it means losing eye contact and looking like a lunatic while you think of what you want to say. However, if it takes too much time to find my words, I panic and black out. I'm still learning.
__________________

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" - Krishnamurti
Pacific_Loner is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-09-2017
Lionhearted's Avatar
Newbie User
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: East
Posts: 92
Thanked 27 Times
Lionhearted Lionhearted is offline
Newbie User
Lionhearted's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: East
Posts: 92
Thanked 27 Times
I tried to submit my reply quickly, but my internet connection decided to just die quickly.

So, I had the same problem as well(still sort of have), and people have actually told me that what I say, was almost always incomprehensible. It affected me really deeply, as I remember getting thoughts like:

'You're going to do worse this time'

'You're going to be inaudible anyway',

whenever I tried to speak up. But I eventually learned to be more confident - even if it meant that my anxiety would get affected. It can be really hard to deal with the anxiety at first, but all you have to do, is to try and distance yourself from the self-consciousness which might be the prime cause of your panic.

Adopt a confident body language - one that will allow you to stay in a comfortable state of mind. I would highly encourage you to try your best to take gradual steps to sound more assertive and confident. I know it can sound really hard to just listen to all the theory, as it's really difficult when it comes to practise. But I can relate to the experience, and I must confess that the only way to counter this is by taking a more positive view of yourself, and to be more confident in yourself.

For beginners, try speaking your mind without over-thinking how your friends/ colleagues might judge you. Begin like that, and slowly raise the difficulty. I'm sure you will do better eventually. Good luck.
Lionhearted is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:33 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
 
Contact Us Privacy