my main concern is knowing how to act around people and being careful with body language and facial expressions, making sure theyre always appropriate. i feel like this is something i can't get help with, because psychologists would surely just be inclined to try to help me stop worrying about it, instead of helping me act better, and im only concerned with acting in a way that doesnt draw negative attention to myself.
how to act...
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Quietguy11
Well-known member
I struggle with this problem, too. I always feel like I am going to space out the longer I have to listen to someone talking. When they stop talking, sometimes I just don't know how to react or what to say. And sometimes I laugh or smile, but only because I'm feeling really uncomfortable, and that is my way of trying to hide how I'm truly feeling.
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
First I think it's simply becoming aware of how you act around people. Look at yourself in front of a mirror and see the facial expressions you make and other mannerisms you may have, and how you feel making them.
Whether or not they are appropriate I can think of two sources to draw from. First, observing others. See how other people act and what they do in social situations, and decide what is deemed appropriate and what is not. Most of these things we don't notice on a day to day basis, so making a conscious effort to look for them is important. Along those same lines, thinking how you would react to something if you were to see yourself or someone else do it. So if you were to say hi to someone, and they were to just wave back and walk by, what would your reaction to it be? I go way to see how others react to things is to think of how you would if someone were to do the same to you. In general we react similarly to things.
Whether or not they are appropriate I can think of two sources to draw from. First, observing others. See how other people act and what they do in social situations, and decide what is deemed appropriate and what is not. Most of these things we don't notice on a day to day basis, so making a conscious effort to look for them is important. Along those same lines, thinking how you would react to something if you were to see yourself or someone else do it. So if you were to say hi to someone, and they were to just wave back and walk by, what would your reaction to it be? I go way to see how others react to things is to think of how you would if someone were to do the same to you. In general we react similarly to things.
dhend87
Member
Also I think it would help to know that often times other people's reactions to you may not be exactly how they wanted or meant to react to you. It's important to not read in too deeply to how others reactions or mannerisms. I used to worry, still do, about this, but I've been practicing over the past few months to shrug off what I perceive to be negative reactions to me when I socialize with people at work (that's the only place I can currently get myself to somewhat socialize comfortably). By practicing this and focusing on how I feel about the interaction, I feel that I've gotten to know and be comfortable with more people at work than I used to at previous jobs. I think everyone with or without SA senses various degrees of perceived judgment/criticizm from others, so by turning your focus on how you feel in the interaction, away from how you are perceiving you make them feel with your interactions, you can actually show the person that you're not meaning to judge them or project a negative feeling on them. Hope this helps. It's something I've been thinking about a lot since starting psycho****ysis 4xweek, 3 months ago.