How NOT to fool around with a girl

Okay, this one’s for all us non-alpha type people who have no desire to be something they know they are not even if it gets them laid.

I don’t have a lot of physical experience, because funny enough all my relationships have been long-term and very deep. I am the opposite of an alpha male, but that is how I was born - BEFORE I developed any kind of anxiety. I’ve never had any natural inclination to belittle other people for social gain, nor do I come across as strong and confident. But funny enough, many women seem to like me (it’s not my looks either).

Why? Because I believe there is a balance to things. Some people are born Alpha, others somewhat and then still others who are the opposite. If it was wrong to be born non-alpha, evolution would have weeded us out long ago, yet we are still here as strong as ever. The balance is that I believe there are an equal amount of women who are looking for non-alpha types or just don’t care as there are non-alpha types in this world.

So yes, there ARE women out there who get extremely put off by Alpha males and are looking for a sincere, honest, kind man. I wake up to a beautiful girl like that every morning.

You just have to know what you want and where to find the right type of women - our counterparts (hint: they are not usually at bars or nightclubs).

Treat them with open sincerity and desire and it’s amazing how natural a relationship can be.

(hint: they are not usually at bars or nightclubs).

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Erm, actually... you get all kinds at bars and nightclubs. They're not just for alpha-male seekers, you know.

That said, nightspots aren't the only places to find a partner. Of any type.

Satine said:

Erm, actually... you get all kinds at bars and nightclubs. They're not just for alpha-male seekers, you know.

That said, nightspots aren't the only places to find a partner. Of any type.

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Yeah I was just about to edit that, but that is true. I just think that environment is pitted against people like us who are trying to find the right type of women. I mean you literally have to shout just to say hi in many of those places.

Fair enough.

But then... a nightclub is pretty much made for people to interact, so it's an ideal arena.

Meh, sorry if I'm being argumentative here. I had a rubbish night's sleep (snored, t'other half prodded me awake, thought the alarm'd gone off, got up, got told by t'other half to go back to sleep), have family issues to think through and am generally mentally frazzled.

So, er, yeah.

Satine said:

Fair enough.

But then... a nightclub is pretty much made for people to interact, so it's an ideal arena.

Meh, sorry if I'm being argumentative here. I had a rubbish night's sleep (snored, t'other half prodded me awake, thought the alarm'd gone off, got up, got told by t'other half to go back to sleep), have family issues to think through and am generally mentally frazzled.

So, er, yeah.

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My experience has never been good with a nightclub. Have you had success there? I do much better in a subdued relaxed environment. Too much stimuli and overt social positioning just makes it very difficult.

I've been approached a few times. Most recent was a guy who said I looked cute in glasses (I wear them all the time) and that he had a weak spot for girls in glasses.

I felt like the cutest thing there!

In addition, a while ago I was sitting on a bench in a club, waiting for the place to fill up. A bloke sat down beside me (he was actually part of a group, but the others were girls who went off to dance) and struck up a conversation with me. He had bought the girls champagne which they liked but he didn't. He said that he didn't like the stuff but was working his way through a glass regardless. We ended up swapping drinks. He took a sip of mine and his heart nearly stopped: he was expecting me to have a soft, girly drink but it was actually flavoured vodka. Delightful chap to talk to, no particular alpha, beta or other status. Just a guy with a drink.

On other occasions I've been dancing and suddenly felt a pair of hands on my hips or my bum being squeezed. I tend to ignore these guys as I'm not up for being grabbed randomly. Last time that happened, the guy came up behind me and put his hands on my hips. I clocked that he was there, took hold of his wrists, and put them on his own hips as a deliberate message to say, 'no, I'm not interested'. He gave me a sad puppy look and I turned away. I've no intention to ruin a guy's night but I'm also not up for being fondled as and when they decide.

Satine said:

I've been approached a few times. Most recent was a guy who said I looked cute in glasses (I wear them all the time) and that he had a weak spot for girls in glasses.

I felt like the cutest thing there!

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Oh haha you're a girl. Sorry I didn't realize. That's great you got approached and complemented! From a guy's perspective it's extra difficult because we are suppose to initiate contact (generally) in places like that and make comments like that. It would feel extremely unnatural for me to say that to another girl without getting to know them better. But that's how I've always been.

Well... why not break a habit and give it a try sometime? What's the worst that can happen? If she's not interested all she has to do is turn away, and you wouldn't stand out as being 'the guy who got turned down' as so many guys pull so many moves on so many women of a night.

Hmm haha, I don't think my wife would appreciate it

Oh! You're married! *slaps self upside head*

Of course.

I already know how to not fool around with a girl, your advice is not needed.