Marshmallow Bunnies
New member
Hello everyone! (I apologize right now for how long this is ><)Well to start off with, my name is Amanda, I am 20 years old, and have been struggling with social anxiety since middle school. At first I was just really shy but after my freshman year of highschool, it only got worse. Now I am in my second year of college and have only begun to really look back and realize how much of a handicap it is for me.
It's gotten to the point where everyone time I walk through the hallways of my school and see that there are people sitting on the benches in the hallway, I get short of breath and just try to walk through as fast as I can. Group work of any kind is torture, I'm really struggling in my chemistry lab where we have to work with a different partner everytime and I can't help but think that I'm coming off as a complete ditz to the other person.
The only class where we do group work in that I'm semi-okay in is my history class but even if I feel confident in my answers if we do group discussions, I get shaky and I often don't quite say what I wanted or end up trailing off because my mind will suddenly go blank.
I guess the main issues I have with my anxiety is that for one, I cannot handle calling places very well. This has prevented me from getting a job and from calling my doctor (which I do really need to do but can't bring myself to pick up the phone without either feeling nauseous or feeling the urge to breakdown and cry.) It is also nearing the end of my semester at my school and I really need to talk to my couselor but the thought of that just seems impossible to me and I'm at a loss as how to deal with it.
Lastly my main concern is that I have lost most of my friends due to this because I get too scared to call them and overall keep in contact. Whenever I did hang around them, I'd laugh when they did and when I was asked something I'd give a short reply but, I was just there. I just never felt like I had a place so I distanced myself from them which was painful because I did really want to be their friends, they were awesome people but ultimately I felt inferior and just felt in the way. My inability to hold a conversation and approach people makes it impossible to make any other friends which only saddens me more.
-le sigh- Well I'm making myself depressed now so I'll stop there. I've never really talked to anyone about these problems (I tend to always bottle up everything) mainly because I have no one to talk to about it. I hope that maybe I can learn to open up more here, learn a few things from you guys' advice/experiences and maybe even make some friends. x3
It's gotten to the point where everyone time I walk through the hallways of my school and see that there are people sitting on the benches in the hallway, I get short of breath and just try to walk through as fast as I can. Group work of any kind is torture, I'm really struggling in my chemistry lab where we have to work with a different partner everytime and I can't help but think that I'm coming off as a complete ditz to the other person.
The only class where we do group work in that I'm semi-okay in is my history class but even if I feel confident in my answers if we do group discussions, I get shaky and I often don't quite say what I wanted or end up trailing off because my mind will suddenly go blank.
I guess the main issues I have with my anxiety is that for one, I cannot handle calling places very well. This has prevented me from getting a job and from calling my doctor (which I do really need to do but can't bring myself to pick up the phone without either feeling nauseous or feeling the urge to breakdown and cry.) It is also nearing the end of my semester at my school and I really need to talk to my couselor but the thought of that just seems impossible to me and I'm at a loss as how to deal with it.
Lastly my main concern is that I have lost most of my friends due to this because I get too scared to call them and overall keep in contact. Whenever I did hang around them, I'd laugh when they did and when I was asked something I'd give a short reply but, I was just there. I just never felt like I had a place so I distanced myself from them which was painful because I did really want to be their friends, they were awesome people but ultimately I felt inferior and just felt in the way. My inability to hold a conversation and approach people makes it impossible to make any other friends which only saddens me more.
-le sigh- Well I'm making myself depressed now so I'll stop there. I've never really talked to anyone about these problems (I tend to always bottle up everything) mainly because I have no one to talk to about it. I hope that maybe I can learn to open up more here, learn a few things from you guys' advice/experiences and maybe even make some friends. x3
