Panther
Well-known member
Sometimes i think back, about good memories, old friends etc, but i then realise at that time in the good memory all i could think about was the future how i couldnt wait to be a certain age, to have a certain career to do certain things, to find someone i love and so on. And at that time i wasnt thinking oh im so lucky to have this friend were having such a good time i was just thinking well this is just a normal day whatever. And its really sad i feel like ive been wishing my life away and the thing is these things ive been wanting and looking forward to could well never happen, certainly not all of them and definitely not all at once. So i really need to learn to be satisfied with what ive got and not crave more, although at the moment i literally have zero social life and am panicing all the time about silly things, but i really dont want to waste my life waiting and waiting for things that will never happen. Yes its good to dream to have goals but i feel like thats all i do like thats the only thing getting me through. Its so frustrating that im just wasting my youth and i think well maybe in a few years ill be more confident like if next year i start uni or something, but if that doesnt happen ill just be so frustrated. I think growing up you see adults with serious relationships (and assume theyre happy) with careers, thinking theyre confident. So then as soon as your an adult you kind of expect to magically have all these things, so i need to learn to enjoy things as i work towards them because if i actually reach the goal i could be very old and will have wasted my life waiting for the moment when i should have been enjoying the ride. But i need to get through this next year im in the same town ive been in all my life with my parents and people ive grown apart from. So im hoping to just get through this next year then move away hopfully somehow make a connection with someone and maybe that will improve my confidence just a little. Anyway do you feel the same way, that you wish youd enjoyed certain moments more and any in particular? And what have you been waiting for?
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