Can't talk about "nothing"

[gsmax5]

Apparently I can't talk about not being able to talk about nothing either. I've been sitting for half an hour at my computer trying to create this thread, but I can't think of the right words. Damn.

 

[Beany]

Either way, I think you expressed your troubles perfectly

 

[Qbmaster]

You are never really supposed to talk about nothing, except maybe in philosophical discussions. Instead you are usually supposed to talk about something. In a situation when you have to talk about "nothing", just talk about anything that you are interested in. If you can't think of anything, you can always talk about the weather. Here is Wikipedia's article on small talk.

 

[I_Walk_Alone]

I'm pretty sure "nothing" doesn't practically even exist.

Now I'm sure we could talk about nothing until we think of something to talk about.

 

[doesit]

Id say first you need to do something to talk about something

 

[I_Walk_Alone]

Id say first you need to do something to talk about something

Like moving your lips?

 

[gsmax5]

You are never really supposed to talk about nothing, except maybe in philosophical discussions. Instead you are usually supposed to talk about something. In a situation when you have to talk about "nothing", just talk about anything that you are interested in. If you can't think of anything, you can always talk about the weather. Here is Wikipedia's article on small talk.

Thanks, I never thought of looking it up on Wikipedia. That article was more helpful than I thought it would be.

 

[klytus]

I can't talk about things that don't interest me. It's boring, it feels wrong to fake interest and I find conversations for their own sake disturbingly unpleasant. And the things that do interest me not a single person I have known shared with me. Therefore, I effectively can't talk about anything with people.

 

[Slothrop]

I can't talk about things that don't interest me.

The easiest way around this is to be interested in more things. That way you have something to talk about, don't have to fake interest, don't have to worry about finding someone interested in what you know about, and can learn something.

 

[NormanBates]

How to Talk to a Quiet Guy | eHow.com

#5 is intriguing ... " let there be silence "
But I've been around people who say "I'm ok with silence" but then in fact, they are not.
So I think it's valuable to find someone who really is ok with silence.

 

[klytus]

The easiest way around this is to be interested in more things. That way you have something to talk about, don't have to fake interest, don't have to worry about finding someone interested in what you know about, and can learn something.

I am not interested in what people usually have to say and not interested in what those about whom I speak might teach me. Would you be interested in why a buddy's friend's girlfriend's father had a fight with a friend of his in a bar in a peasant village thirty-four miles away from their home? While that question might sound ridiculous, the topics people generally talk about are not much more interesting.

And I don't want to get around this. It wasn't a complaint - I am very content with who I am. I would just love to have people around me in real-life I can discuss things with that actually are within my interests.

From eHow's "How to talk to a quiet guy":

Guys will be more secure if they are sure you want to talk to them. // Find some common ground that he will feel comfortable with talking about in a conversation. // Compliment him. Let him know that you think highly of him by saying something nice. The compliment will be more special if you choose something that he was born with, hair, eyes or smile, versus something that he may not have chosen himself, like shirt or shoes.// Being quiet for a few moments and letting him get his thoughts together is important, as he is may be really nervous.

Oh, dear. If I were a woman equipped with some self-confidence and self-sufficiency and had to deal with such men, I'd prefer being single for a lifetime. That how-to page boils down to: Quiet/nice guys need to feel really secure to be able to do anything, a common ground must be actively looked for to be found (In such a case, wanting any interpersonal relationship seems pointless. If there are no obvious natural similarities, it won't work out anyway.) , he needs to know that he is being thought of highly and he doesn't dress himself - his parents do ("he may not have chosen himself, like shirt or shoes."), and he is so nervous and thus incapable of dealing with basic situations that he needs time to assemble a meaningful response. But that's off-topic.

 

[Slothrop]

I am not interested in what people usually have to say and not interested in what those about whom I speak might teach me.

I didn't say they might teach, I said you could learn.

Would you be interested in why a buddy's friend's girlfriend's father had a fight with a friend of his in a bar in a peasant village thirty-four miles away from their home?

I may be, yes. It depends on context. Even if I weren't interested, I would not dismiss the person telling the story as incapable of saying anything interesting.

While that question might sound ridiculous, the topics people generally talk about are not much more interesting.

Everyone, everywhere, at all times? Are you sure you're not painting with a broad brush here? I mean, how can you be sure that you know everything that a person is capable of talking about? How do you know they aren't wishing someone would express an interest in the other things they'd like to talk about? The honest answer is that you don't.

It wasn't a complaint - I am very content with who I am. I would just love to have people around me in real-life I can discuss things with that actually are within my interests.

So you're not complaining about anything when you complain about not having not having these people in your life? It's a waste of energy to talk about how you would "love to have" something without thinking at all about how you're going to get it.

 

[klytus]

We are discussing real-life contacts here, right? This is not about people I might meet online.

Even if I weren't interested, I would not dismiss the person telling the story as incapable of saying anything interesting.

I would. Because I know that the people I know don't share my interests and I am someone who is not interested in anything beyond. It's my limitation, so to speak, not theirs.

Everyone, everywhere, at all times? Are you sure you're not painting with a broad brush here? I mean, how can you be sure that you know everything that a person is capable of talking about? How do you know they aren't wishing someone would express an interest in the other things they'd like to talk about? The honest answer is that you don't.

The honest answer is that I talk about those people I personally know. And as far as they are concerned, they are not interested in my - , and I am not in their interests. I don't need to know everything people can talk about; It is enough for me to know they can't talk about what I want to discuss.

It's a waste of energy to talk about how you would "love to have" something without thinking at all about how you're going to get it.

There is no immediate way of getting it. People with my interests are scattered around the world and I am too young and too bound to my region to travel. Perhaps I will meet some at university, but it's unlikely. The only way to get it is by becoming outstanding in my fields of interest and that will take a lot of time to achieve.

 

[Slothrop]

I am someone who is not interested in anything beyond. It's my limitation, so to speak, not theirs.

My point exactly.

 

[klytus]

My point exactly.

Well, I have never blamed others for anything.