hypnotherapy or join a public speaking group

[Not_a_freak_2008]

Most of the time I have SA under control ...but I still struggle to speak in front certain groups of people. I'm not talking about public speaking, just a group meeting with a few people. I struggle particularly at work, in meetings with managers that are above me, and various other people that intimated in other ways other then title.

I had a plan I had to explain today to my managment. I had been practising what I had to say since the day before, i even got a practise run in when i got to explain the plan to someone who couldn't attend the meeting. Yet once I got in there, i got all nervous, and bumbled my way through it.

I know where i went wrong- because its usually where i go wrong. I will say something and think it didn't come out right. And i don't move on, my brain goes to my typical vicious cycle of thinking " i look stupid", " they don't understand what I'm talking about", "I've stuffed this up". I'm so distracted by all of it that I then actually end up making a mess of what I want to say and then they really don't get it. I can't seem to snap myself out of not worrying about what other people are thinking of me and focus on saying what I came to say, what I know how to say. Its a form of self sabotage.

I can control situations where it is people I know/ feel comfortable with. When I have the comfortable feeling with someone, I can tell my brain that if I stuff up, the person probably doesn't care and probably didn't notice- my brain listens and I move on. When its some one that intimates me ,I feel completely overwhelmed, judged and hyper self consious- and i can't push beyond it.

The past year has been like self administered cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), to push past this problem ( conscious trying to re-route my thinking by breaking that vicious freak out cycle i was talking about). I don't feel like I'm getting better, if i am, the progress is too slow for my liking. So I've been thinking about hypnotherapy or joining a public speaking group like toastmasters.

Hypnotherapy

How I think it will help me- I think a sub conscious mental block with letting go of my fear of being judged in front of people that intimidate me. After all, how it it different to me overcoming my social phobia fears, when it was people i knew and didn't intimated me. I think hypnotherapy will get me pass this block faster then CBT.

My fear- i'm afraid of having someone messing with my brain on a subconscious level- ie pulling it apart and then not putting it back together properly


Public speaking group

How I think it will help me-this would be like throwing myself off the deep and then somehow floating. Past experience has taught me that no matter how deep I get, I alway end up pulling through somehow as a better person. I don't actually want to be able to speak to a large bunch of people for 15mins non stop and keep them fully engaged. But if i can that OK, speaking to 5 people for 5 mins would not seem hard at all. Its all about relativity


My fear- that I'll freak myself out too much and I'll end up crawling back into the shell i spent years trying to crawl out of.

what do you guys think?

 

[danstelter]

Hypnotherapy

How I think it will help me- I think a sub conscious mental block with letting go of my fear of being judged in front of people that intimidate me. After all, how it it different to me overcoming my social phobia fears, when it was people i knew and didn't intimated me. I think hypnotherapy will get me pass this block faster then CBT.

My fear- i'm afraid of having someone messing with my brain on a subconscious level- ie pulling it apart and then not putting it back together properly

It might and it might not. People respond to different things in different ways. It might work for someone else, but not for you. I personally don't believe in hypnotherapy, but you can try it and see if it works. I would not be worried about someone abusing your brain. Most people are reasonable and will not do that, but it is good to exercise a bit of caution and make sure the person you are seeing is going to do an honest job.

Public speaking group

How I think it will help me-this would be like throwing myself off the deep and then somehow floating. Past experience has taught me that no matter how deep I get, I alway end up pulling through somehow as a better person. I don't actually want to be able to speak to a large bunch of people for 15mins non stop and keep them fully engaged. But if i can that OK, speaking to 5 people for 5 mins would not seem hard at all. Its all about relativity


My fear- that I'll freak myself out too much and I'll end up crawling back into the shell i spent years trying to crawl out of.

what do you guys think?

I think this is the more likely of the two to work. You can always talk to friends or something like that if you are worried about going back into your shell. I would make a point of talking a lot with others at the public speaking group and tell them that you are a socially anxious person and that this is especially difficult for you. If they are decent people, they will respect your courage and will help you to work through the anxiety the best they can. Almost everyone is nervous about public speaking, so it should be safe to share your anxiety here. If it's not, leave and try another group; some people can be assholes.

Additionally, I think that the self-CBT you have been doing in the past would work quite well here. I think that you are excellent at managing your anxiety and that crawling back into your shell is not likely to happen. It might get hard, but I think that if you keep at it, you will find a way to work through this anxiety.

I have had similar things that have made me anxious for years before I finally figured them out. So, just accept that this may not be easy and might take a couple years' worth of work to get through. But, keep faith, because you can and will get over this if you keep working at it!

Good luck, and I hope this information helped you out!

 

[Jay Cataldo]

I recommend EFT over hypnotherapy because you can do it yourself. Download the free manual at emofree.com

And a toastmasters club is a great place to learn public speaking. It's generally filled with people just like yourself who are petrified of speaking to an audience. It's a very gentle and nurturing environment.

And trust me, you'll be really proud of yourself after jumping off the deep end. And who knows.. you just may discover that it's not at bad as you thought.

 

[zofia-life-coach]

Definitely go on a public speaking course. Some of them are just designed to help pople like you. Good luck.