Going to places alone

burner21

burner21

Active member
hello all, i'm new on here so i dont know if this has been talked about already or not but, I want to know your thoughts on going to places like concerts and movies all by yourself.

I've been shy/socially anxious seems like all my life and I want to try to lessen it. I'd like to get out and do more fun stuff, but my friends never call (they stopped calling cause I would usually start to get that anxious feeling and make up an excuse not to go) and I really hate calling people on the phone, even if theyre friends (i'm afraid they'll have something better to do, and im uncomfortable and not good at organizing things). so i'm thinking of doing stuff on my own.

ive always been nervous about going to these "social events" alone, i guess its always been a self-consciousness issue and i was wondering if you all have opinions or advice or whatever to help on this subject ... or anything a shy guy can do to lessen his SA
 
SilentType

SilentType

Banned
I can identify with you completely man. We're in very similar situations. Ever since I've found the the "professionals'" first line of treatment works no better than placebo, I decided I was gonna take control of the medication in my life (totally since money has become more important than medicine, not because of my bad experience, btw). Marijuana is the path I've chosen and so far it's relieved the sore times pretty well. Helps just free your mind, and enhance your overall mood. It helps me relax in social situations, and motivates me to do things I would find otherwise undoable. No harm, no crime I say, btw.

Everyone's reaction is different though. I made my choice after taking a lot of prescriptions and failing to find anything halfways as good as a good vaporized hit of some of that all natural, sticky, green thc. At least get informed before replying to this....


Peace
 
nhen

nhen

Active member
There was a point in my life where I just said, "To hell with people. I'm going to enjoy life with or without them." I thought the whole world had rejected me, but I decided I wasn't going to let that ruin my life. It sounds kind of messed up, I know, but that's when I started going to restaurants and movies alone. I had no friends, had immense trouble making friends, but I concluded that I couldn't let that prevent me from doing the things I enjoyed. It was a weird, short-term period that proved to be a very positive experience, believe it or not. I stopped caring about what others thought, and for once, crawled out of my shell. The reason it was short lived was because people began gravitating towards me to bask in my warm, self-confident light. Then, of course, I started caring about what people thought again. I suppose the reason I can't recapture it is because I'm focused on the popularity I enjoyed rather than the independence. Alas, I'm rambling. Long story short, go for it. Enjoy life...friends or lack thereof be damned. Furthermore, you may find the challenges (of an SP going to a public place alone) deeply satisfying...and hopefully not too daunting.
 
ripewithdecay

ripewithdecay

Well-known member
I go to concerts by myself all the time, simply because nobody focuses on you at all. It's dark and they can't see you anyway, then the music is too loud for anyone to talk or be heard so everyone just watches the stage and enjoys the music.
 
Yer_Blues

Yer_Blues

Member
There is a music festival coming up and I really want to go, but I don't think I will be able to find anyone to go with. I'm still deciding whether I will go by myself.

It would be easier to go to these sort or events by yourself as everyones attention is focused on the stage. I would find going to a pub or club alone next to impossible.
 
Caseums21

Caseums21

Well-known member
I'm the type of person that would rather go by myself. Anywhere I go, I rarely invite people along. When they ask to go, I just tell them I'll meet them there.

Last year, I went by myself to a concert about 2 hours away. I had so much fun. I don't need people I know around me, just to have a good time.
 
MeInTheCorner

MeInTheCorner

Banned
There is nothing wrong with going to places on your own in my opinion. Sometimes going with others just creates more problems and it can be very useful sometimes to observe others behaviour. This is easier when we are not so involved in what is happening.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
Go For it, you'll meet people at thes eplaces anyway who are curious people and may talk to you, many will not ...but at least your living your life right rather then staying inside and pondering what could have been..

I went to a festival not so long ago with a friend who was a girl ...lets just say she only wanted to see one band, and we got lost for nearly 2 hours because we couldnt hear each other on our mobiles and the crowd was so huge and i said to her "stay there" while i went to the toilet, anyway it wasn't that big a deal because we found each other in the end ...but she was so angry and over-reacted, called my parents asking where i was "how could i do this" ...parents lectured me for hours when we got home ...etc

conclusion: from now on i'm only going to these places alone to avoid experiances like that ..it ruined the rest of the day ...

its not that i dont want to enjoy the company of other people there but i'd rather do my own roaming around without that sort of thing arising ..plus i always run into new people at these festivals ...
 
Zarrix

Zarrix

Well-known member
Im with you 100% One of my friends always comes up with very questionable excuses for not going to places. It doesn't help with my SP at all, I immediately get palpitations when asking him to go or do anything, and if he doesn't accept, I analyse for any lying and assume I did something to upset him.

I don't mind going to places where it is accepted to be alone, such as shopping, but I could never go to the movies by myself,I'm affraid that people will judge me as a loner.

Don't want to be alone, but can't find anyone to be with, its a nasty vicious circle.
 
HH

HH

Well-known member
I love going to gigs and festivals and I go to these pretty much on my own as I like bands that aren't that popular so most of my friends haven't heard them (well, what friends I've got anyway.) Sometimes it doesn't bother me as I can just focus on the music but sometimes it gets me down when I look around and see everyone talking to friends and having fun-sigh. I never go to clubs, just hate them so i don't bother.
 
seekeroftruth

seekeroftruth

Well-known member
...

Whenever I have went places or shows alone I have been relatively comfortable. For the most part no one knows you are alone and you are left alone if you choose to retreat to a more obscure area of your surroundings.
 
Moonie

Moonie

Well-known member
It depends on the place.

I have or would go to: a bookstore, shopping, movies, or concert alone. I remember back in college that I went to hear a band play by myself. I felt fine with it.

I wouldn't go to a bar alone. I guess because I can become problematic around alcohol. So, it would not be safe to venture there alone.
 
Zarrix

Zarrix

Well-known member
I would never go to a concert alone. With so many people there, one is bound to be judging you. Probably not, but thats what I think. Bar's alone are a big no-no for me, even though I am not 18, I would never go to one unless I am with friends.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
^^ most of the time people are too busy worrying about themselves having a good time ..ive never come across people who gave a toss, one of the reasons is because many people go alone anyway and people dont know if youve come with friends and they are just around the corner or if your alone ...people are accepting most of the time
 
LonelyGirl

LonelyGirl

Well-known member
I don't think there's anything wrong with going to places on your own if you enjoy yourself. I don't think it would work for me though. Not because I'd be nervous but because I'd be depressed. I prefer to do things with people but I don't usually get the chance. This stops me from doing a lot of the things I want to do. I can't remember the last time I went to the cinema. I've never been to a concert in my life which is a bit strange for a music student. I want to go ice skating, bowling, clubbing, but I can't because I'd be miserable on my own. Most people here seem to disagree though so maybe you can have fun by yourself. If you want to go and you don't mind being alone then you should go for it. Try not to worry about what other people think. They probably won't realise anyway.
 
lifes_to_long

lifes_to_long

Well-known member
does anyone want to go to glastonbury festival with me thing is I've only got 2 friends and there both in australia but i really wanna go to glastonbury cause pete doherty and leonard cohen are playing dont really wanna go on my own.thanks oli
 
Predacon

Predacon

Well-known member
Like others have said it depends on the situation, I don't have any problem going to the movies by myself. But I might feel a bit self conscious going to something like a concert on my own.
 
spectator

spectator

Well-known member
I wouldn't recommend it. I go to things alone all the time, and I find it really depressing. I always want to have people on my side with me.
 
S

shes_alone

Member
Personally I'd never go to a gig on my own, I cant even manage the cinema, because I know that nearly everyone else there would have friends with them. I can just manage shopping. But if you think you can do it, then do it and focus on the entertainment not your own company :)
 
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