emotionally blocked

Hello,

I have to get this off my chest, but I feel emotionally blocked or atleast in the display of my emotions. Like a hand is clenched tightly around me anytime I experience an emotion and want to display it. I instantly switch over to cramped mode whenever I feel the desire to externalise an emotion. I hardly express - or maybe it's even more correct to say I supress the display of my - emotions. This makes it really hard to do anything: connect with people, be passionate about anything, advance as an artist.
I am an emotional person but stripped of my ability to externalise my emotions which makes me kind of trapped in myself to use a cliché of sorts.

My grandfather was not an easy man but I kind of envy him in the way he could express himself. He was very dominant but yeah he was "pure/brut"...
Ofcourse I am a different person but I feel I have inherited some of his abilities/characteristics(emotional, dominant(rather negative...)) but can't make use of them......

Are your emotions blocked when you're alone, or just around other people?

I definitely know what you mean. I've had this problem since I was about 13. Since being teased, it's like I just don't want to show anything about myself, including my emotions. For example, when I'm feeling really happy or excited, I don't even show it all. Same with anger and sadness. I just bottle them all up. But, eventually, those emotions work their way back out. Lately I've been having trouble controlling my anger and my sadness again. I wish I wasn't like this. I wonder how one can express themselves so easily?

Well it's not so much my emotions that are blocked, it's more the externalisation of those emotions: Expressing a liking, being crude(not necessary but an example), putting a vigorous line on paper.
Just putting life, fire into what you are saying, doing, living.

Exactly what you describe phoenix. Same situation, same age. :/