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Old 12-04-2015
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Doing a project on shyness (others and my own) and was hoping some of you shy individuals would be able to answer a few questions.

1. Why do you think you are shy?
2. How does shyness affect you?
3. Do you wish you were more confident? (would you change your entire personality?)
4. What social interactions do you fear most?
5. Are you both shy and introverted?

Thank you!
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Old 12-04-2015
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1. Why do you think you are shy?

A: I think I was shy every since I was in Penn Hebron School, where I someone stabbed me in the palm with a pencil. My family members say my shyness started when I was three years old, but I was outgoing before that. I think the kids in the daycare I was with always came up and asked "Don't you ever talk?" "Why are you so quiet?" They even give me cold stares and talk to me disrespectfully. I think my shyness mostly comes from one of my parents who also might have social phobia.
2. How does shyness affect you?

A: Shyness affects my life in a lot of ways, and it's not always a good thing. Unfortunately, my shyness prevents me from expressing myself and doing things that I love. Although, because I don't have a circle of many friends/aquaintances to hang around, at least for my spare time I get to do my own thing independently and have free time to myself like playing video games, listening to music, writing, ect. I think though that when I'm with people, they usually take advantage/take me for granted because of my shyness and that is part of why I feel so ashamed for having social phobia. Sometimes I feel like crap that I have it and I do get depressed, but I try not to let this rule my life.
3. Do you wish you were more confident? (would you change your entire personality?)

A: Tough question, sometimes I do wish I was confident enough and didn't have this horrible social anxiety curse but I know that can't be changed. To be honest, at three years old, I wouldn't even remember when or why I started being quiet because I don't have the answer to that. I mean people change in life and I think a lot of people I'm around with find this trait of mine hard to accept, mostly because they are outgoing themselves (of course :/.) No, I wouldn't change my entire personality, I am actually pretty lenient and empathetic when it comes to others, I let others do what they want to do and I don't try and dictate on the things they enjoy doing, wearing, hobbies, ect. The one thing I would change is my overly nice attitude to people who don't deserve it. I'm getting sick of people taking advantage of me and it is the one thing I would like to put an end to.
4. What social interactions do you fear most?

A: Family gatherings, I hate walking up to cash registers in restaurants/stores because sometimes they can be pretty bossy or irritable if I ask too many questions or take up their time. It happens a lot when I'm even at a writer's group where there is people sitting across a big table, and if I talk too much about what I'm writing about (giving long summaries) some people will roll their eyes and I catch them tapping their fingers on the desk, and say "Okay" like they want me to get on with it. Makes me want to not talk ever after that.
5. Are you both shy and introverted?

A: I'd say I'm a combination of both, I spend my time in my house mostly. If you ever met me in person, you'd already identify me as a socially awkward, clumsy person. I'm not perfect, even if people will look at me based on my appearance that they must think my life seems that way. But it doesn't. I also think my personality is FAR different than any girl I've encountered, and I don't mean to say that like I'm bragging, but it's true. I think differently than most teenagers my age.
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Old 12-05-2015
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1. Why do you think you are shy?

I think because of my childhood, it was chaotic and there was no one for me to turn to. I always felt completely alone, so I turned inward. I was bullied all through school, and as an adult. Shame around how I look, my sexuality, being lower class, among other things, has also contributed.

2. How does shyness affect you?

I can't do any of the things I want. I can't be the person I want to be. I can't have the future and career I want. I can't have relationships. I am so afraid of people, I can't trust anyone. I am thinking constantly of what people must be thinking of me, it consumes everything.

3. Do you wish you were more confident? (would you change your entire personality?)

So much! I don't know if i'd change my entire personality. Maybe there are some parts of me that aren't so bad.

4. What social interactions do you fear most?

Giving presentations for class. Job interviews. Anything where I'm being judged and everyone is looking at me. And just everyday stuff where I have talk about myself, I make myself sick I get so anxious.

5. Are you both shy and introverted?

If I didn't have social anxiety I think i'd still be quiet and keep to myself.
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Old 02-15-2016
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1. Why do you think you are shy?
-----I really don't know. I have always been shy. When i was young i always feared facing people. I was scared of strangers.
2. How does shyness affect you?
----It affects me in many different ways. I can't talk on the phone because i feel like the person i'm talking to is judging me. I can't keep a conversation with someone without sounding weird. I also stutter a lot . When i talk to strangers i blush a lot and i don't know what to tell them. I don't have many friends because of my shyness too (i only have one and she understands me and helps me too)
3. Do you wish you were more confident? (would you change your entire personality?)
I'd love to be confident! i have very low self-confidence and i'm sure that being more confident will help me overcome my shyness!! but i also like my personality so i wouldn't change it!!
4. What social interactions do you fear most?
I mostly fear talking in public and meeting new people. I also fear talking to someone on the phone.
5. Are you both shy and introverted?
No i'm just shy and i wish i could talk to people without feeling judged.
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Old 02-15-2016
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellen123 View Post
Doing a project on shyness (others and my own) and was hoping some of you shy individuals would be able to answer a few questions.

1. Why do you think you are shy?
2. How does shyness affect you?
3. Do you wish you were more confident? (would you change your entire personality?)
4. What social interactions do you fear most?
5. Are you both shy and introverted?

Thank you!
1. Because I was told hurtful things when I was a child that I was not good enough. I was raised by a single mother and in third world country. My mother was abusive and would abused me both physically and mentally. She made me think that I was the reason her life was so miserable.

2. It makes me unable to have friends and unable to walk at the same pace as my peers.

3. Yes, I did wish I was more confident and I learned that wishing would not do you any good. I decided to step out of my then belief and changed my own perspective to "I am more than good enough." My personality didn't change but my approach to life has changed.

4. Back then I would dread anything involving interactions (one-on-one, group, etc.)

5. I was. Now I'm just introverted.
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Old 11-11-2016
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No i just stopped caring about it. Yes i am still shy and experience anxiety but i dont care anymore about it and try not to put myself in such situation ;[
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Old 07-08-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FriendlyShadow View Post
1. Why do you think you are shy?

The one thing I would change is my overly nice attitude to people who don't deserve it. I'm getting sick of people taking advantage of me and it is the one thing I would like to put an end to.
I struggled with this point for many years; how can I stop being so nice and finally put my foot down?

I realized I wanted people's approval, and so I would often say "yes" to every little favor they asked for - even if I didn't want to do it. In the long run, people would start to take advantage of it and ask me to do all sorts of things.

But I value my time, as I'm sure you do. And so I started practicing how to say no to all types of favors, even the small ones. That alone changed a lot, and I found myself spending more time on things I want to do, and less time on things others want me to do.

The same was true for respect. When someone disrespects you, it's a matter of being clear and telling the person that you don't like what they just said/did. When you don't do this, people will continue to disrespect you because they know they'll get away with it again and again.

If you're interested in hearing more on this subject, read my post on "Why Do People Step Over Me?"

I hope that helps, and good luck!
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Old 07-09-2018
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I wouldn't define myself as "shy". I am very introverted and get social anxiety more than social phobia -- I can interact and can do things I want to do, but I get very anxious about it. I am also petrified of any sort of confrontation.
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Old 07-11-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellen123 View Post
Doing a project on shyness (others and my own) and was hoping some of you shy individuals would be able to answer a few questions.

1. Why do you think you are shy?
2. How does shyness affect you?
3. Do you wish you were more confident? (would you change your entire personality?)
4. What social interactions do you fear most?
5. Are you both shy and introverted?

Thank you!
I'm not shy, I get socially anxious. shyness is less than the socially anxious and the abuse is likely moreso than a person who is shy or the way they handled their abuse.

Ok I am quite shy actually and i do wish i were more confident

Last edited by lily; 07-11-2018 at 09:13 PM.
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Old 07-12-2018
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I'd tell you but I'm too shy..
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