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Difficulty putting yourself first.
- Thread starter flakeybark
- Start date
freestylemonster
Banned
Yeah I always put everybody before me. It kinda sucks we really need to start being more selfish
NormanBates
Well-known member
OH yes, I hide in my house too. I think the last time I went outside for the fun of it was when I had little friends in the neighborhood. Maybe before I became a teenager. Before the big confusion. Technically I'm done being a teenager, but I don't think it feels that way.
Yes, the house could be looking pretty nice on the outside. I think about going out there a lot just to keep up the plants or trim some ugly branches. But I don't do those things. so as a result, more ugliness on this side of the street.
Yes, the house could be looking pretty nice on the outside. I think about going out there a lot just to keep up the plants or trim some ugly branches. But I don't do those things. so as a result, more ugliness on this side of the street.
Sad-Kitten
Well-known member
Just in case you try to delete itPink_Glitter said:
and thats very nice 
Georgina
Member
Looking over this site, I seem to be more 'damaged' than I realised.
I can totally relate to putting everyone else first. I just can't settle unless everyone elses whims and foibles are satisfied first or I feel as if I have not completed all the tasks and there will be no peace for me.
Even if I do everything for everyone around me, if they so much as make a cup of tea, put on the hoover, pick something up from the shops, I feel as if I should have done it or be doing it for them and that I have somehow failed and they have now got a stick to beat me with.
OMG, I have just worked out my own problem typing this.... and where it stems from, flippen heck. It's all about my ex husband, he conditioned me! How pathetic I am.
The lline "got a stick to beat me with"gave me the answer, If I failed to pre-empt any of his wants, needs, or desires it was like giving him a stick to beat me with as I could do a thousand chores and he could do 1, but his one would be more than all mine and cancel it out, so therefore in order to prevent him from challenging me or going on about it, I had to do and pre-empt everything, thus effectively turning myself into a slave striving to be perfect to avoid his constant digging, whilst being constantly manipulated.
Actually I don't entirely think I can credit him with the intelligence for doing that conciously, it must just be a natural instinct in some people.
No wonder he was not happy when I left him spitting "there was nothing wrong with our marriage" well who wouldn't be unhappy about having lost a good hardworking slave, 10 years on my life is so much better, so much calmer even all the boils I had constantly erupting on my face like a volcano when lived with him went away almost immediately.
Some relationships are toxic, perhaps its not us, just what others have made us.
Get demanding,ask for something every now and then, my current Hubby loves to do things for me, in fact he even asks me what he can do for me (how weird/nice is that?) makes him feel good, still I have to shake off that feeling I should be doing it though!
EMPOWER yourselves!!
Ask for a cuppa! ( small acorns....small acorns... :lol: )
I can totally relate to putting everyone else first. I just can't settle unless everyone elses whims and foibles are satisfied first or I feel as if I have not completed all the tasks and there will be no peace for me.
Even if I do everything for everyone around me, if they so much as make a cup of tea, put on the hoover, pick something up from the shops, I feel as if I should have done it or be doing it for them and that I have somehow failed and they have now got a stick to beat me with.
OMG, I have just worked out my own problem typing this.... and where it stems from, flippen heck. It's all about my ex husband, he conditioned me! How pathetic I am.
The lline "got a stick to beat me with"gave me the answer, If I failed to pre-empt any of his wants, needs, or desires it was like giving him a stick to beat me with as I could do a thousand chores and he could do 1, but his one would be more than all mine and cancel it out, so therefore in order to prevent him from challenging me or going on about it, I had to do and pre-empt everything, thus effectively turning myself into a slave striving to be perfect to avoid his constant digging, whilst being constantly manipulated.
Actually I don't entirely think I can credit him with the intelligence for doing that conciously, it must just be a natural instinct in some people.
No wonder he was not happy when I left him spitting "there was nothing wrong with our marriage" well who wouldn't be unhappy about having lost a good hardworking slave, 10 years on my life is so much better, so much calmer even all the boils I had constantly erupting on my face like a volcano when lived with him went away almost immediately.
Some relationships are toxic, perhaps its not us, just what others have made us.
Get demanding,ask for something every now and then, my current Hubby loves to do things for me, in fact he even asks me what he can do for me (how weird/nice is that?) makes him feel good, still I have to shake off that feeling I should be doing it though!
EMPOWER yourselves!!
Ask for a cuppa! ( small acorns....small acorns... :lol: )
sdgOptimistman
Banned
You ALL are selfish pieces of shit!!!! lolololol! That's why you are on this fucking website posting shit about how much you "THINK" you give, when really you are just a bunch of SELF-PITYING AND SELF-CONSOLING losers!! You all are amazingly pathetic and it's just sad to look at a website where a bunch of losers get toghether to console each other about what so called "hard life" they are living!! GET SOME FUCKING BALLS!!!!!!!!! :lol:
afrojr
Member
man fuck u Optimistman...fuck u think u are when your punk-ass is up here too. Who's the fuckin loser: the guy who posts on this website, or the guy who feels superior by spamming on this website. Fool u need to grow some nuts, so I can kick the shit out of em...pussy-head ass muthafucka
I know what you meant. All my life I have put other people needs before me, I suppose it´s a tendency you will always have. Although, you can work on worring a bit more about your needs. It´s the only way to be sane. If you are strong and sane you could be help other people.
appletree
Well-known member
pink glitter, you've touched on an important point there actually because even though i'm horribly depressed with the way my life has turned out.
fed up with being dyslexic, adhd, scared etc. it still feels good to help other people, and some days i think that's enough you know?
as long as i know that i have made a difference however slight in somebody elses life then i am just a little bit happier.
fed up with being dyslexic, adhd, scared etc. it still feels good to help other people, and some days i think that's enough you know?
as long as i know that i have made a difference however slight in somebody elses life then i am just a little bit happier.