tooshytosay
Well-known member
The root of all my problems gets clearer as years go by - it's that I simply don't know how to have a conversation for conversation's sake.
And in this respect, I just feel like a little child. Young children, say around the age of 3 - don't have conversation for conversation' sake. Oh sure, you can still "talk" with them - for example if you ask them about specific topics. But they don't TRY to have conversation for conversation's sake the way adults do. They just don't "get" it, the idea of spending time simply talking to someone... for the sake of it. They'd rather go play with a toy or something, i.e. actually do something.
In fact, this relates to an interesting observation I made as I grew up. In kindergartens, and early primary (/elementary) school, you see most children playing out in the playground during free time. i.e., doing something. But as they get older, and by the time you get to high school, you see most of them talking during free time - somewhere along the line, they made that crucial "transition" in socializing behavior. Somewhere along the line... this idea of having a conversation for conversation's sake (a.k.a. "chatting" / "hanging out"/ smalltalk).. "clicked" for them in their brain.
The ultimate example I think is at a playground at a park - you see the kids playing and running around, while you see their parents sitting on the bench talking. Yes, they're both examples of humans socializing - but occuring in a very different manner.
My conclusion? Basically, I am still that kid in the kindergarten. You can talk to me about certain topics, ask me about certain things, and I can talk just fine. I can have a completely normal "interview" with you. But I CAN'T talk to you for the sake of it; for the sake of "socializing". I'm like that kid who either wants to talk about something particular, or actually do something. I just can't talk for the sake of talking...
And in this respect, I just feel like a little child. Young children, say around the age of 3 - don't have conversation for conversation' sake. Oh sure, you can still "talk" with them - for example if you ask them about specific topics. But they don't TRY to have conversation for conversation's sake the way adults do. They just don't "get" it, the idea of spending time simply talking to someone... for the sake of it. They'd rather go play with a toy or something, i.e. actually do something.
In fact, this relates to an interesting observation I made as I grew up. In kindergartens, and early primary (/elementary) school, you see most children playing out in the playground during free time. i.e., doing something. But as they get older, and by the time you get to high school, you see most of them talking during free time - somewhere along the line, they made that crucial "transition" in socializing behavior. Somewhere along the line... this idea of having a conversation for conversation's sake (a.k.a. "chatting" / "hanging out"/ smalltalk).. "clicked" for them in their brain.
The ultimate example I think is at a playground at a park - you see the kids playing and running around, while you see their parents sitting on the bench talking. Yes, they're both examples of humans socializing - but occuring in a very different manner.
My conclusion? Basically, I am still that kid in the kindergarten. You can talk to me about certain topics, ask me about certain things, and I can talk just fine. I can have a completely normal "interview" with you. But I CAN'T talk to you for the sake of it; for the sake of "socializing". I'm like that kid who either wants to talk about something particular, or actually do something. I just can't talk for the sake of talking...
it did upset me and made me cry and maybe in a way i am a child still, if being a grown-up means disrespecting others then i'll stay as i am.
