Constant Anxiety...

Hello all,

I'm new here and I've been looking for a way to discuss my constant anxiety with people who understand and who may have had similar experiences. Apologies for the lengthy post.

Basically, I have always classed myself as a fairly anxious person, a 'worrier' as my Mother calls it. However, for the last 5 or 6 months my anxiety has stepped up a notch and is more or less constant; to the point were if I find that I'm not worrying myself sick (I have actually been physically sick from worry a few times) over something then I'll become worried about *that*.

I'm always very worried about what people think of me. If I feel I've mis-spoken or said something that could possibly offend somebody in any way then I'll worry to the point were I feel sick and can't eat, or I won't be able to sleep. I'm terrified of standing up for myself if I feel a friend or someone close to me has said something I disagree with or upsets me. One of my major anxieties is my friends hating me and abandoning me.
I have particular and specific anxieties related to one friend who i absolutly *cannot* stand up for myself around. I let her walk all over me, guilt-trip me and generally emotionally manipulate me because I simply cannot get the courage to say what I think around here because I've convinced myself she will turn everyone against me.

I have recently moved back home to live with my parents and they cause me a lot of anxiety. I don't get along well with my Father and so I often anticipate potential arguments and find I work myself up about things that may or may not happen.
This move has also meant that I'm forced to live apart from my partner for a short while and this has caused me some distress.

Basically, to cut a long story short my anxiety levels are at an all time high to the point of constant worry and over-analysis of everything. It has begun to affect my sleep and for the past 5 or 6 weeks I have been suffering from insomnia 3 to 4 nights a week. It has also begun to affect my appetite (which is really rather rare with me.)

My friends suggest visiting a doctor, but I'm terrified of them, so the thought of that in turn adds to my anxieties. I'm begining to feel trapped and claustrophobic in my own life and don't feel able to fulfill my potential.

I was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences and what you do/ have done to help, and if I really should get over my fear of doctors and get some help.

Any advice would be great

i would say go and see a doctor, and you shouldnt feel terrified of them, cause thats what they are there for.
if you dont like the doctor that you see, you are perfectly within your rights to see another one (at least thats how it is in the UK)

as for anxiety i think youve come to the right place cause im sure 99% of people on here suffer or have suffered from anxiety

best of luck to you

Hello,
I can totally relate to the constant fear you’re suffering from. I also think that a therapy is urgently required.
If you’re too afraid to contact a doctor it would be advisable to ask your friends for help. Maybe this is embarrassing for you but it is time to take care for yourself. I hope you’re willing to make the first move.

You must get therapy fast. I f you do not love yourself more than anyone[ and obviously you dont] then you will never be able to tell these rude freinds who are walking all over you that you will not put up with it. Its called having boundaries. Why are you SO concerned that you will be hated or that your so called freinds my abandon you? Are you depedant on them? Do they pay / support your lifestyle,bills,groceries,etc? If not, i dont see why you would care a fig about what they think. I used to be like you and after therapy i was completely different. Learn to be comfortable [through therapy] in your own skin. Then you will be able to live without these chilish pushy losers that you describe as freinds. Good luck, check into therapy.

Also, if you are manipulated by these 'freinds' and walked over,,that is not a freind! That is people taking advantage of your vulnerable/easy nature. You are not here to be a people pleaser. If these people are as you describe,,you owe them nothing! If they are offended by you saying no..too bad! not your issue. I can assure you that these people are not in anxiety over how you feel about them or if they offended you. So why are you concerned with what they feel? Therapy would work wonders for you. You are concerned about what unworthy people think/feel about you. Find freinds in a therapy circle and stop worrying that you have offended others. The biggest offense is coming from them to you . Please get to therapy.

Thank you for the replies thus far, guys.

I do recognise that therapy is probably the best option. I have had some therapy in the past and it did begin to be v helpful but unfortunatly it was only short-term and I feel I need something that is more ongoing so that I can start to fully work on some issues- mainly the fact that I am so *increadibly* un-assertive; which is both due to my anxieties and a cause of my anxieties.

For anyone in the UK- can a GP refer you to an NHS phsychologist/ psychiatrist? I simply don't have the money to pay for private therapy unfortunatly

The insomnia is really getting to me. I find it can leave me slightly hysterical because I've had so little sleep.

I just long for my mind to be still

kathrynlovely said:

Thank you for the replies thus far, guys.

I do recognise that therapy is probably the best option. I have had some therapy in the past and it did begin to be v helpful but unfortunatly it was only short-term and I feel I need something that is more ongoing so that I can start to fully work on some issues- mainly the fact that I am so *increadibly* un-assertive; which is both due to my anxieties and a cause of my anxieties.

For anyone in the UK- can a GP refer you to an NHS phsychologist/ psychiatrist? I simply don't have the money to pay for private therapy unfortunatly

The insomnia is really getting to me. I find it can leave me slightly hysterical because I've had so little sleep.

I just long for my mind to be still

Click to expand...

aye, if you want to see a specialist of any kind, then its not a question of if a doctor can refer you, its your right to be allowed this, and a GP isnt allowed to refuse you of that.
just remember they work for us, dont let them intimidate you, cause they can be right swines sometimes

I can sympathise with your situation very much and I wish you the best of luck with this. I have contacted my doctor after gathering up the courage, and I am being referred to a psychologist. Your GP should be able to do the same for you.

I see- so if I talk to my GP then I can arrange for the relevant referral?

LittleMan- was that a referral to an NHS (or similar) psychologist? Without incurring a huge bill per session as with private therapy? If you don't mind me asking?

Thank you all for your well wishes

your in liverpool, you dont have to pay for anything.
there may be a que to see a therapist, but thats where "i insist" comes into play

It is an NHS therapist, completely free for me.

if a doctor sais there is a 3 month or 6 month waiting list, then you can ask/tell your doctor to phone up for an emergency appointment.
cause it often happens that people cancel thier appointments. so you can take their space. they would phone you up to let you know or send you a letter.
it all depends on if your available at short notice or not.
and like "littleman" sais, its all free through the NHS
(i hate when people get conned out of money, dont fall for it)

Thank you for the advice.

I've made an initial appointment with a free counselling service and at some point this week I'm going to my GP's (I need to re-register with them first, as I've recently moved back to the area.) I feel that now is the time to take steps to getting better.

kathrynlovely said:

My friends suggest visiting a doctor, but I'm terrified of them, so the thought of that in turn adds to my anxieties. I'm begining to feel trapped and claustrophobic in my own life and don't feel able to fulfill my potential.

Click to expand...

I was in the same situation as you and was completely scared of going to my doctors. I just took a massive deep breath and reminded myself why I needed to go and see them, and told myself it was a positive step I was taking even if it didn't feel like it. If you are afraid of going on your own to the docs, perhaps you could get a friend to come along with you. GOOD LUCK you can do it I am 101% behind you.

Thank you so much.

I have my counselling session on Thursday morning and I'm working up the courage to pop into the GP's today to re-register.

Thank you all for your support and advice.