Confusious
New member
Many months ago now, for the first time in my life, I began a coupling with a person that I met over the internet. This has been some more experience. It's unlike any relationship I have had before. Most particularly, though we know each other intimately and share deep romantic feelings for each other, she shows very little or no trust whatsoever for me. Why this is so? Is it because it's the internet where we first met? :?:
It's true you meet people wherever you meet them. May it be at the grocery store in your home town, or on a chat room for German singles. Those feelings of "hey, I kinda like this person" always surface, if you are touched in a special way by them. Sadly too, you can be being blantantly lied to, straight to your face by whom you have met. But what if you consider the internet horror stories we all hear about? The conjecture that comes from that is basically like saying the once friendly grocery market where you met your first husband, is now being patronized by ex-cons only.
And, you'd be hard-pressed to find a diamond in that kind of rough. :wink:
Make no mistake; the internet we fiddle with everyday is teeming with filth and vermin just waiting to do some type of harm to anyone they can.
Knowing this, when you meet someone new on here, the thought that "they" are one of these people does cross your mind. It is logically plausible, and VERY warranted in our day and age.
The faceless person you are speaking to on these machines could be a man, who originally just came looking for some mech help with his 94' Mustang, as he has told you. This person could be a gifted 8 year old, who has just realized he can type 60 words per minute. This person you are talking to could be the future love of your life. And this person might just turn out to be your worst fucking nightmare.
Being aware of all these potentials; it's easily understandable that it might be harder to fully trust a person met in this way. So, to ask the question again, does being initially on the internet really make a difference, in terms of mating up? Yes. It certainly does. :wink:
If we want this thing we have to continue and prosper, we are going to have to jump through much higher hoops than how we did with that old flame we once loved back in school. :wink: The first issue is seeing.
Now, if you are like me, web cameras and exchanging a choice photo, is the first thing you can do when you finally get up the courage to reveal your physical self to that special person. Unfortunately, these methods of openness can be fabricated today, if a criminal is intelligent enough. Smart people know of this fact too. They listen to their local news. :wink: So such visual methods may not increase your faith's integrity as much as the best thing might. . . the first meeting!
I have yet to experience this event, personally. As of the date of this writing, we have to wait a bit longer for that to happen. Reasons being, for one thing, she lives in a place where it will be hard for me to live financially at this point. And one of the bigger, more "unorthodox" issues as relationships go; she wants to obtain a criminal background check on me. Who does this in a relationship where you meet a guy at the mall? Overprotective dads, only. :wink: And even then, it's iffy. But she is absolutely right to do this on me, considering our circumstances.
I have told her the facts and notions about myself as best as I know them. When the check returns, she will see I have told her the truth about it. I hope too, when she sees I was not lying about being some criminal, that maybe she will start to consider I am not lying about my feelings for her, also. Belee the size of our planet in distance apart; THIS is our biggest issue.
Enter the variable of social phobia. . .
Imagine the person you have come to have feelings for believes deep down they aren't worth anything, and thinks things like, "Jesus, you like me?! You HAVE to be one of the scumbuckets then! That's the only reason to explain why you keep trying with me."
I DO love this person. More than I ever have loved anyone. She may have this problem, but she also has my heart. And I cannot lose her, if I can help it. That is why I am seeking help from this forum.
I have not cheated on her to betray her confidence in such a fashion. I have extended myself in many ways personally, as well as financially for us to stay in daily contact. Therefore, the only legitamate warrant I can see for how she continues to feel must be her social phobia coupled, with how we initially met.
How can I earn her trust? Will I ever?
It's true you meet people wherever you meet them. May it be at the grocery store in your home town, or on a chat room for German singles. Those feelings of "hey, I kinda like this person" always surface, if you are touched in a special way by them. Sadly too, you can be being blantantly lied to, straight to your face by whom you have met. But what if you consider the internet horror stories we all hear about? The conjecture that comes from that is basically like saying the once friendly grocery market where you met your first husband, is now being patronized by ex-cons only.
And, you'd be hard-pressed to find a diamond in that kind of rough. :wink: Make no mistake; the internet we fiddle with everyday is teeming with filth and vermin just waiting to do some type of harm to anyone they can.
Knowing this, when you meet someone new on here, the thought that "they" are one of these people does cross your mind. It is logically plausible, and VERY warranted in our day and age.
The faceless person you are speaking to on these machines could be a man, who originally just came looking for some mech help with his 94' Mustang, as he has told you. This person could be a gifted 8 year old, who has just realized he can type 60 words per minute.
This person you are talking to could be the future love of your life. And this person might just turn out to be your worst fucking nightmare. Being aware of all these potentials; it's easily understandable that it might be harder to fully trust a person met in this way. So, to ask the question again, does being initially on the internet really make a difference, in terms of mating up? Yes. It certainly does. :wink:
If we want this thing we have to continue and prosper, we are going to have to jump through much higher hoops than how we did with that old flame we once loved back in school. :wink: The first issue is seeing.
Now, if you are like me, web cameras and exchanging a choice photo, is the first thing you can do when you finally get up the courage to reveal your physical self to that special person.
Unfortunately, these methods of openness can be fabricated today, if a criminal is intelligent enough. Smart people know of this fact too. They listen to their local news. :wink: So such visual methods may not increase your faith's integrity as much as the best thing might. . . the first meeting! I have yet to experience this event, personally. As of the date of this writing, we have to wait a bit longer for that to happen. Reasons being, for one thing, she lives in a place where it will be hard for me to live financially at this point. And one of the bigger, more "unorthodox" issues as relationships go; she wants to obtain a criminal background check on me. Who does this in a relationship where you meet a guy at the mall? Overprotective dads, only. :wink: And even then, it's iffy. But she is absolutely right to do this on me, considering our circumstances.
I have told her the facts and notions about myself as best as I know them. When the check returns, she will see I have told her the truth about it. I hope too, when she sees I was not lying about being some criminal, that maybe she will start to consider I am not lying about my feelings for her, also. Belee the size of our planet in distance apart; THIS is our biggest issue.
Enter the variable of social phobia. . .
Imagine the person you have come to have feelings for believes deep down they aren't worth anything, and thinks things like, "Jesus, you like me?! You HAVE to be one of the scumbuckets then! That's the only reason to explain why you keep trying with me."
I DO love this person. More than I ever have loved anyone. She may have this problem, but she also has my heart. And I cannot lose her, if I can help it. That is why I am seeking help from this forum.
I have not cheated on her to betray her confidence in such a fashion. I have extended myself in many ways personally, as well as financially for us to stay in daily contact. Therefore, the only legitamate warrant I can see for how she continues to feel must be her social phobia coupled, with how we initially met.
How can I earn her trust? Will I ever?
