can people sense if youre confident or not?

like, if i get on a bus, i see a girl, i just feel straight away, oh she is confident, but i feel like when people see me.. they dont see a strong independent girl [which is what i want to be viewed as] but they see a gullable unconfident girl who they feel my opinion wouldnt matter?
i just always feel that people can sense if your confident or your not.. ie body language maybe?

ie body language maybe?

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That's a very big part of it.

Confidence = good posture, sitting up straight, head up, eye contact

Insecure = poor posture, slumping, head down, avoiding eye contact, arms
folded

Although this only goes so far, as the old saying still rings true: you can't judge a book by its cover.

But most people can get a pretty good feel for confidence through a person's body language.

I think I read somewhere that 80% of communication is visual so I think it is body language.
I know that men can tell I am afraid of them even though I try to hide it; no matter how clever I think I am being they can see right through it -I might as well have written "I'm scared" in red marking pen on my face.

I used to work at sea on foreign ships. I remember talking with another American with regret about how we, as guests, seem to be given more respect than the other women on the ship. She commented that it wasn't just because we were guests but also because we tended to walk up to the men and look them in the face and speak up etc. ( I can often do that when it is my 'job' and not 'me' personally) whereas the other women on the ship approached with their heads bowed, eyes on the floor, talking in a hesitant, embarrased manner...well...more like I do socially (when it is 'just' me) ....

Definitely. I've actually had people comment on how anxious I look (sometimes in a very rude way) which just makes it SO much worse.
I try to conciously put myself in a confident state of mind, but usually I have enough trouble just trying to relax.

xkiss_me_nowx said:

like, if i get on a bus, i see a girl, i just feel straight away, oh she is confident, but i feel like when people see me.. they dont see a strong independent girl [which is what i want to be viewed as] but they see a gullable unconfident girl who they feel my opinion wouldnt matter?
i just always feel that people can sense if your confident or your not.. ie body language maybe?

Click to expand...

yeah, i think people can sense if you're confident or not..by body language especially. Sometimes, if i'm waiting in the car in a parking lot or something..i notice people getting out of their cars..walking with this 'air of confidence' and i think it adds a lot to their attractiveness...and i wonder, when i'm walking..does it show how uncomfortable i am..how nervous i feel..and i totally think it affects how people view you and deal with you :roll:

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Yes, I had a girl walk up to me and say "all you need is
self confidence". I can't figure out how she could tell, because
i try to walk with my head up etc..But i guess my lack of
confidence must show. The big question is how do i get it?
I wish I could just wish for it, but I know that won''t work.

xkiss_me_nowx

Forget about peoples body language for a second.

Most people want to be seen as more confident than they really are, some want to be seen in a certain way, some want to project strength, some are hiding their insecurities. They are so aware of their bodies, that they do everything to appear the way they believe will make them happy, sadly, how often is this the case? What is self confident about this attitude?

Basically, you are just mistaken. Your eyes see perfectly, yet your mind tells you otherwise. Mistaken in respect that others do not see you as confident, maybe the most unconfident person in the world sees you as really confident?? Its a matter of how you see your self, your view of you. You must be so aware of how you look, how you come across, are you not tired of this yet? Of course you are, you must be.

People can sense if you are confident, you may outwardly look calm but your thoughts could be all over the place, unconfident. Its more to do with what you are thinking, the space you are in. Take your focus inward, forget about how things look, or how you look, concentrate on this feeling/thought of why you feel you need to come across or be seen as confident, when you let that feeling/thought go, you'll maybe find what you are looking for.

You dont need to look confident, you need to feel confident.

James

When I was in High School people thought of me as vein and cocky because I faked a kind of confidence when I walked and talked so people wouldn't see how insecure I really was. Now I don't carry myself the same way I try to look friendly and approachable. I guess my answer is body language does say something about you for first impressions. However I don't believe you really know anyone without conversation ect...

Body language and the sound of your voice is sooo important its nuts! :lol: I'm sure if we googled around a little we would find some helpful tips (I probably will after I post this hehe). What I do is stand up straight and keep my shoulders from hunching forward. Also walking slower I think makes me look more confident and sitting with my legs wide open instead of crossed. What I have to be worried about is that sometimes I know I can look intimidating...Like I'll be standing with my arms cross and me chest out (not on purpose) and my face just doesn't show emotion at all. People that have never seen me before think I'm a rude mean person and god knows what else....I remember hearing something about talking slower is good but I don't know if that helps since I never talk :lol:

Oh yeah, I know what you mean. I feel like people can see it stamped on my forehead "This is a weak, frightened person. Feel free to treat this person like shit". Salespeople are rude to me, the other mothers at my son's school look like me as I were some species of disgusting cockroach, people butt in front of me in line as if I weren't there. . . I try to hold my head high and look others in the eye, just generally try to conceal that I am a loser, but the others aren't fooled one bit.