Body Image carving my social phobia

I dont want to be seen anymore. I don't like going to work anymore- been getting intense dread feelings of going because I cant take what I look like in the mirror anymore. It sounds so silly, but its honest.

And I am so irritable and want to try to change myself- but I end up hurting myself to do that. So anxious too.

I feel that I am not good enough as I am- as I look like. That I am no-one special. For a moment, not that long ago- like months- I felt so good - and had found my value and was happy with myself and confident. I was okay with myself and it was balanced.

But everything in my life tells me that I am not okay, that in order to be beautiful I have to have blonde hair and change myself. I hate it. Everything at the moment in my reflection I am so insecure about and I feel so ugly and unsure of myself.

It makes it so hard to be happy and be social at work.

Yep, BDD's a bitch aint it? :kickingmyself:

Not much more to say really. It's a hard-core issue, and it don't wanna budge. :thumbdown:

Yes, its not nice.

But I want it so much to go away because its made me so ill lately. i guess its the feed of it.