A Vicious Cycle

Lonely_Writer

Lonely_Writer

Active member
I'm confused. It seems like even when I go out of my way to be in social situations, I find myself not really enjoying it. Not only that, but I look like a dork just standing there nodding my head and not really contributing anything to the conversation.

And to make matters worse, even if I tried to contribute to the conversation, it would be so much stimulation for me that I would be exhausted afterwards. Does anyone get like this? This really is a vicious cycle, and it's only gotten worse since I've moved out on my own.
 
Lonely_Writer

Lonely_Writer

Active member
Winja said:
Is it with everyone?

I find that some people just make my anxiety so much worse. I'm never going to be better enough to hang out with those people but I guess I should just keep looking for a social life in as many places as possible until somewhere sort of feels a bit comfortable.
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I think you bring up a good point. It's kinda the difference between fitting into a group and belonging to a group. When you fit in, you sort of just go with the crowd. When you feel like you belong somewhere, you're surrounded by people that accept you unconditionally. I've started to learn the difference pretty quick. Especially as my social anxiety got worse.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
When I speak on the phone, I have several worries: 1) social anxiety, 2) my maximum monthly minutes (from family's cell phone plan). In fact today I had a phone conversation with someone. The whole time he was speaking on the phone, I was counting the minutes that passed by and hoping that he would end the conversation fast. But he kept on talking and I was about to interrupt when he started talking again. I was kind of anxious too. When the call was over, I checked the minutes and I found out I used them all up! My mom was pretty pissed. Next time I'll use Google+ hangout.

Also, if someone speaks too long on the phone, I can space out.
 
Lonely_Writer

Lonely_Writer

Active member
jaim38 said:
When I speak on the phone, I have several worries: 1) social anxiety, 2) my maximum monthly minutes (from family's cell phone plan). In fact today I had a phone conversation with someone. The whole time he was speaking on the phone, I was counting the minutes that passed by and hoping that he would end the conversation fast. But he kept on talking and I was about to interrupt when he started talking again. I was kind of anxious too. When the call was over, I checked the minutes and I found out I used them all up! My mom was pretty pissed. Next time I'll use Google+ hangout.

Also, if someone speaks too long on the phone, I can space out.
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I do that too! lol

I always feel like I wait for the other person to wrap up the conversation. Now, I've learned to be a little more assertive. I usually just tell them I need to work on homework or make dinner. They usually get the hint.
 
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