If you could go back to the start, would you force yourself to be different?

[ugly_duckling]

If you knew long ago that you would turn out this way, would you have made more of an effort to be who you wanted to be in life?

If someone showed you a video of your future to you when you were a kid about how you will be, do you think you'd have done everything in your power to make sure it didn't happen? Act tougher, talk more, befriend more people, put on a confident front (even if you just faked it for others) etc.?

When you're older you can't just change personalities because so much has happened in your life, and people remember you as 'you', the weirdo who shyed away from everyone, who had nothing to say, who did this or didn't do that and so on.
It would have been so much simpler when you were a kid to develop a personality/ attitude because at that age you don't care as much or carry the worries of what others think of you.
I think if I would have toughened up a little I would have been better prepared for life, not have panic attacks each time I go out alone, have friends, go anywhere without worrying about anything, everything normal people can do without a second thought.

 

[Alone97]

I would want to be different, I would be one of those kids in class who banters with the teacher without fear of being judged, I would be someone who always had weekend plans and could let themself go without worrying who's watching. There are times when I wonder why I am the way I am, I try to accept it but I'll always be secretly hoping I was the person everyone envied and was confident enough to do things I always dreamed of

 

[megalon]

Yeah I definitely would've done it differently, but hindsight is 20/20. There's no use dwelling on what we could have done differently. better to focus on making changes in the present. Now if only I could follow my own advice...

 

[MrSunday]

I prefer not to ponder over this...it just makes me feel depressed.

 

[vylorna]

To be honest, I wish I could say I would've behaved differently.. but this is me and for many times I've tried to change my behavior but I just couldn't. And I did get chances for a "fresh" start, like going to a new college and all that, but it wouldn't change a thing no matter how hard I tried to push myself. So saying that doing it as a kid would have been easier would be a lie, I think..

 

[Duzmiu]

part of me says yes but the rest of me says no, i am who i am because of my past and for the friends i have they like me for me so changing my past would change my personality and i probally wouldnt have the friends i have now. and i wouldnt of made all those mistakes to learn from in the first place.

it would be nice to be able to go out without fear and not do things i do now but i dunno im happy with how i am, at the same time i hate it...kinda complicated really

 

[kihira]

When you're older you can't just change personalities because so much has happened in your life, and people remember you as 'you', the weirdo who shyed away from everyone, who had nothing to say, who did this or didn't do that and so on.

I dont really agree that you cant change when you're older, we grow and change subtlely throughout our lives and even bigger changes for the better in someones personality are well received - people just see them as improvements.

 

[EscapeArtist]

I don't see how there would be any way to reverse the things that caused my SA. For people who suffered bullying and such I understand this question but otherwise I don't see any other way to deal with it, the fact that I'm trying to deal with the causation at a young age is as good as it can get

 

[Gaucho]

if someone would of shown me a video of my future(now) when i was 12 or so, i would have started to cry i think. or maybe i wouldn't believe that fling so deep is possible.

 

[InvisaLady]

Yeah I definitely would've done it differently, but hindsight is 20/20. There's no use dwelling on what we could have done differently. better to focus on making changes in the present. Now if only I could follow my own advice...

I agree with this 100%.
I suppose There are a few things I would have really liked to tell myself to do, Like "give that A**hat Adam a black eye and call the school social worker a c**t to her face.
Not the main causes of my SA, but it sure would have felt great.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I think I am pretty much the person I want to be.

I wish I weren't terrified of people.
I wish I weren't disgusted by my own appearance.

I wouldn't trade my personality traits just for that, though. If I had to sell my soul or become a mean person just to be able to talk to people, it wouldn't be worth it.

 

[Kat]

Not in the social regard I somewhat like the perspective my SP has probably sculpted.

Improving on my skills and sticking to my interests whilst going to school that's probably what I would have change and be home schooled I think I would of been better socially adjusted if I remained ignorant to how people were and just studied Psychology so I could understand them better when it was time to go out into the real world. I may have had the maturity and coping mechanism not to completely shut down.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Yeah I definitely would've done it differently, but hindsight is 20/20. There's no use dwelling on what we could have done differently. better to focus on making changes in the present. Now if only I could follow my own advice...

Yup. The book I am reading calls it time traveling. The present is what we have control over. No use thinking what could have been...and no use worrying about what could happen. Oh, but if I could go back in time, I would like to think I would make all sorts of changes. But did any of you watch the Butterfly Effect? Things could go bad for other people, so there is that risk ::

 

[Bustn Justin]

For me I wouldn't let anyone bring me down. I would go out and do different things and not worry about what others have thought . If I did that I would have more hobbies, more friends, better career

 

[Srijita52]

I like myself in parts. But I think I've to improve much more.

 

[BlackPuma]

Any step back towards my past is another step back into a burning building. I might not be fully happy today, but I'd rather sooth my current wounds then trying to avoid getting them at all and perhaps getting far more severe ones in the process.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

I think it is very possible to change as an adult.

The past is the past. It has shaped us to who we are today and what we do now will shape who we are tomorrow. It takes time and effort but things can change, they can. Then 5 years from now you will look back at this moment and wonder "what if I didn't start changing then?" or "what if I made the effort back then?" Or something a bit more poetic or something.

 

[Kiwong]

If I'd gone to a different high school who knows?

 

[Lea]

I think I have done my best according to my possibilities, still try to do. However, I can´t change my personality into someone else, or act "normal" or extraverted when I am not.

But I´d go to a different school definitely, or apprenticeship.

 

[bcsr]

I'd love a re-do, lol.
I'd make a much more serious effort to socialize, I wouldn't pick so many damn fist fights, and I would have gone to the military instead of college. College was such a waste of time for me.

Ultimately, I fully believe I'll get to where I want to be, it's just going to take longer than I'd like. But hey, life isn't a race.