y i not respected in office??

[pooh]

is it becoz i act timidly? speak timidly? why the colleague raise voice at me?? feel so sad, i dun want to appear timid anymore..but i dun really have friends outside, as a result the office relationships matter a lot to me, so i am timid there coz i cannot afford to lose their friendship..
anyone facing same problem??

 

[J_]

ok, maybe a few tips for you. Strange thing is when it came to work my sa only really made me self aware on a bad acne day, or when speaking to people i didn't know well or a hot lady

so the tips, no specific order

1) If someone interupts you, and you are genuinly busy, ask that person to wait till you are finished, don't let yourself be a pushover

2) Don't be afraid to speak your mind, or speak up when need be, it'll show you're assertive

3) Don't take your colleagues too seriously and don't look up to them like they're better than you. They are people with as many problems as anyone else, and you should recognise that. It's easy to fall into the trap of respecting people you work with a bit too much and they can see that and might use it against you.

4) Try and be your best at what you do, chances are you'll end up better than most and with people asking for your help, rather than dumping you with work, and you can then help them on YOUR terms

5) If someone tries blaming you for something that isn't your fault, don't sit down and take it. Always be calm and don't get into a shouting match but get accross your message in a clear and assertive, but CALM fashion. Don't be walked over.

Oh, and this won't be an over night change, but something you'll have to work at

give it time and don't let them get too you

 

[pooh]

3) Don't take your colleagues too seriously and don't look up to them like they're better than you. They are people with as many problems as anyone else, and you should recognise that. It's easy to fall into the trap of respecting people you work with a bit too much and they can see that and might use it against you.

Hi, thanks for your very helpful tips!!!
Especially the one above, I fell I have fallen into the trap!!!
Starting tomorrow onwards I will stop behaving like a mouse in front of others!!!!
I hate to act like a mouse!!!!!!!
People will step on u as a result!!

 

[Jack-B]

Pooh

Its because you are attached to the idea that what these people think about you makes you feel good about your self, obviously, it doesnt, so give up thinking about how anyone views you etc.

Reputation is intimately linked to what others think of us. Ironically, if you give up thinking about what others think about you, they will respect you a million times more because you will gain confidence and not be dependent and vulnerable to how they act. They only have power over you in your mind. They will appear threatening and over powering because your mind is projecting dependency, so whatever they do, it seems to weaken you.

Try asserting your self and believe in your self, you will have tremendous self confidence if you cease to believe that you need to be a certain way for these people, you can be your self.

A guy at work other day near shouted at me, because he wanted to appear confident and assertive and all manly, he he, you can be softly spoken calm and tremendously self confident without having to appear a certain way for others to think you are strong. Strength comes from honestly being your self, all accepting, fearless to the changing thoughts of others.

Good luck!

Jack

 

[pooh]

Thanks so much for ur advice Jack B! =)