Would you go out more if you had friends?

[PhantomPod]

Or would you still be way too shy to go out to places or just go out anywhere, even if you had someone to do things with?


For me, I feel like if I had friends (hell even just one friend!) I would go out so much more. Like I enjoy going out and am so eager to go places and have fun, yet it's just not the same if you're by yourself. Just playing a sport for instance... I want to go play tennis right now, but I don't have anyone to play with, so here I am just sitting in my house on a beautiful day on the computer. I'm seriously waiting for my mom to come home from work to see if she'll want to play with me. It seems so pathetic.

Also, if I had a friend, I feel like I'd be a lot more willing to go to parties or go to a club of some sort. But those just seem like the kind of things where it's just really not the same if you attempt to do them by yourself. I was invited to a party last Friday I think it was near where I go to school, an hour away from my house. I sort of wanted to go, but I didn't want to make the drive by myself and if it was lame I'd sort of be stuck there, and plus I only really knew one girl who'd be there (the girl who's party it was). I feel like if I had a friend though, it would be a lot more fun and we could go there and hang out, then if it really was lame just leave if we wanted and go do our own thing.

I don't know, I just guess that if I had just at least one friend it would be so much easier for me to be social and for me to put myself out there. I guess I'd have more confidence or something.

 

[monica]

yes :wink:

actually I see that here.. people dont go out to parties if their friends are busy...

I dont go out much at night cause i dont have many friends, thats the problem !!!!! :?

we need to meet more people certainly

 

[scatmantom]

Not to sound big headed...but i do have friends and I still dont go out that often. This week I went out last night to the pub and that was it...i might go out at the weekend but only if they go somewhere i feel "comfortable". If not Ill have another migrane 8) .

Having loads of friends wont help you overcome social anxiety as to keep them you have to force yourself to get out there and spend time with them. Its a bit of a dilema really, but i suppose at least when you have got friends its that much easier to plan going out as you have people to enjoy it with

 

[Septor]

I don't know I probably would not go out more if I had more friends.It would still not help with my SA and I would probably just end up trying to avoid them so they could not ask me if I wanted to go out . :lol:

Although it would be easier for me to go out if you did have more friends.It's hard to say what I would do.

 

[FaymeLevy]

I dunno. I haven't had any IRL friends in years, but when I did, they did manage to drag me out of the house. Depending on where they'd want to go, of course. I never went to parties, but I loved going to the movies and arcades and such with them.

 

[Lyricaljust]

yeah I'm by myself most of the time day after day.. just using the computer while the days go by.. I don't know I mean alot of people know who I am and I guess you can say I have my share of friends although I'm not sure if they are really truly friends or just acquaintances... But I'm usually not going out to places like alot of people and doing things.. if I had more friends I could hang out with.. I think yeah I would be going out more and doing things.. But I just don't.. like I've said to the people in the past "I just maintain".

 

[Shonen_Yo]

For me, it more of a trust issue. If i don't feel safe with someone I won't go.

Are you absolute sure you have SA? If so, does it happend to be combined with anything else? I was just wondering cause I, myself, have a bit of paranoia.

 

[mico]

For me, it more of a trust issue. If i don't feel safe with someone I won't go.

Are you absolute sure you have SA? If so, does it happend to be combined with anything else? I was just wondering cause I, myself, have a bit of paranoia.

I'm the same. It's related to SA, but I also went through a bad patch of anxiety which lead to agoraphobia, which I kicked in the ass, but some of the scars remain.

If you've got SA, then you're probably an anxious/sensitive person. If you're an anxious/sensitive person then you may well have avoidance issues too. If you have avoidance issues, then you may have agoraphobic tendencies. If you have agoraphobic tendencies, you may not go out....

The anxiety causes the paranoia. Unwanted and irrational negative thoughts. Change that to positive and you'll feel a lot better going out.

I have a good netwrok of friend, but I'm realising now that I always shoot myself in the foot by avoiding meeting up with them a lot of the time.

 

[Jaded_Jester]

It's true that friends eventually give up on you, so I guess that begs to ask the question - where they really your friends at all?

I agree with you PhantomPod.

 

[spurs]

no it's almost worse because you get invited out places and you plan to go but then you get anxiety in the lead up to the event and end up cancelling alot...then feel like you've let people down...i do this constantly...and it doubles the anxiety becasue you fell like a bad person but the anxiety overpowers wanting to go out...
i feel like it's dangerous to make new friends now because once you're friends with someone they have expectations...but if you're always copping out or only ever want to do things in a 'safe' environment this creates problems and you end up avoiding them or whatever...so it's just more stress
i ahve cut myself off from alot of people in order not to deal with this dilemma...so it's almost easier to be on your own...but it's really just denial and trying to avoid sonfrontin gmy fears
so it's good that u have the desire to go out alot...beacuse then u can confront what you're afraid of

 

[goatscheese]

i think if i had friends i would go out more but i don't think i would enjoy it because i used to have a group of "friends" that i would go out with but i just kept thinking they where juding me and i never said anything and i felt really bad and i used to make exceuses why i couldn't go out.

but now i have no friendsand i want some :roll:

 

[Predacon]

I don't think it would make much of a differance. Even without the SP going out all the time just isn't my thing. I might go out to the movies or something like that once a month or something like that , but most of the time I just prefer to relax at home.

 

[LoneWolf09]

I think I might go out, but it would all depend on where. If it's the movies, I have a hard time adjusting.

 

[Diluted_Acid]

quantity don't do it for me, but quality can. Otherwise i feel i'm losin interest in my friends anyway :?

 

[kazzaa]

iv got a freind who asks me to go out all the time! i end up feeling guilty because i always fob her off and never go! i feel that i would spoil it for her if i ever dare go..but dont actually want to.
I feel that im a party pooper, i wouldnt be able to chat to anyone, so no would be the answer, mo matter if i had more freinds it wouldnt make a difference!

 

[pjam76]

friends

It's hard for many people to just go out and hang by themselves...Most people are not big time extroverts... So having friends makes it easier to go out to clubs, parties, events, and so on...

as far as ther person who posted, " It's true that friends eventually give up on you, so I guess that begs to ask the question - where they really your friends at all? "

I always have a problem with this statement because the fact might be maybe they were never your friend... But at the same time, if you always avoid them, maybe you were never their friend..... It goes both ways, not just one way.

If in a time of need, you are too stuck complaining about yourself and not caring about them, your not much of a friend.

But at the same time, if they do the same thing to you and don't want to hear your issues, then they aren't really your friend.

But again, it goes both ways.

 

[Angie_05]

Or would you still be way too shy to go out to places or just go out anywhere, even if you had someone to do things with?


I want to go play tennis right now, but I don't have anyone to play with, so here I am just sitting in my house on a beautiful day on the computer.

I love to play tennis (even broke my ankle in June playing with my bf). Since I moved I don't have any friends where I live to play with and my bf never wants to go....or rather he thinks I shouldn't since I was injured but I don't really care about that.

Too bad you don't live in St. Louis. : (

 

[decadeOfSA]

I have like one good friend left and he's pretty boring. All my other friends have graduated from college and moved. I haven't really made any new friends since I have been a recluse for about 6 years Fuck SA. I do like being alone a lot as I have more freedom to do things I want to do. I'm pretty independent and I'm always doing something. I wish I did have more friends though as I would like to do some things with friends more...