very_shy
Well-known member
For the past 5 years when working in public administration and dealing with customers I have come across this question but only now it has grown to the point that-like the ripe fruit-it is ready to be further investigated. The worst period of my social phobia was in high school and now I believe my job has helped me to overcome it-not yet 100%, but still it is better than it used to be.
When the blanket of extreme insecurity was uncovered, it was time to think of next levels. Like in Super Mario video game. I had a (crazy?) idea, that maybe I will find a potential friend or girlfriend at work-not coworkers but the ones I deal with. I do believe that working in public administration for SA /shy, introverted and other similar people-in one side of the coin-could be a very good oportunity for it to happen. Maybe also in the first sight. Why? Here are my ideas.
a) Want it or not: you are forced to have now a wider circle of persons -> better oportunities to make social contacts, etc…
b) It's easier to find a common thing to talk about (etc. if you are librarian), even without or with very little small talk;
c) My idealistic idea: you do people favour and maybe in the next couple of months they will remember you were nice…
d) Customers always return, so you have many “second”, “third” chances…
The other side of the coin is that this is probably the ONLY way to find girlfriend/boyfriend, especially for people like me, who claim to have “no life”. Or to have interests, which are socially “not acceptable”, narrow and the likes.
But on the other hand I think of reversing roles. How would I feel when going to etc. post office and the lady at the counter would flirt with me (not that I would recognize the signs, but still)? What would I think of her? Would I still visit the same place? Wouldn't I be embarassed?
And as I write this, I think of today, of yesterday and of past couple of months and years. Of missed chances, brief encounters, smiles, distorted views. When I will finish work, lock the place and go home, all these will reset to zero. Now I am the one who is working and helping people to find what they search, but in about an hour or so I will be Mr Nobody again, with no life, friends. And the circle will repeat, day after day.
Any thoughts, similar experiencies?
When the blanket of extreme insecurity was uncovered, it was time to think of next levels. Like in Super Mario video game. I had a (crazy?) idea, that maybe I will find a potential friend or girlfriend at work-not coworkers but the ones I deal with. I do believe that working in public administration for SA /shy, introverted and other similar people-in one side of the coin-could be a very good oportunity for it to happen. Maybe also in the first sight. Why? Here are my ideas.
a) Want it or not: you are forced to have now a wider circle of persons -> better oportunities to make social contacts, etc…
b) It's easier to find a common thing to talk about (etc. if you are librarian), even without or with very little small talk;
c) My idealistic idea: you do people favour and maybe in the next couple of months they will remember you were nice…
d) Customers always return, so you have many “second”, “third” chances…
The other side of the coin is that this is probably the ONLY way to find girlfriend/boyfriend, especially for people like me, who claim to have “no life”. Or to have interests, which are socially “not acceptable”, narrow and the likes.
But on the other hand I think of reversing roles. How would I feel when going to etc. post office and the lady at the counter would flirt with me (not that I would recognize the signs, but still)? What would I think of her? Would I still visit the same place? Wouldn't I be embarassed?
And as I write this, I think of today, of yesterday and of past couple of months and years. Of missed chances, brief encounters, smiles, distorted views. When I will finish work, lock the place and go home, all these will reset to zero. Now I am the one who is working and helping people to find what they search, but in about an hour or so I will be Mr Nobody again, with no life, friends. And the circle will repeat, day after day.
Any thoughts, similar experiencies?
