wanting suggestions for Justin
Hi Justin,
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. But am encouraged that you have the strength and maturity to try to find ways of coping with your situation.
For Tips... I use to work with people who wanted to change their behavior towards situations. I worked with hypnosis and their area of concerns. Sometimes attitudes become somewhat habitual, so although someone has the want to change or the need to, they get use to reacting to situations instead of acting after thinking about how they want to respond to their environment.
The way we would work together is by me helping them visualize them being in a situation that made them feel anxious and role play it differently in their head. They would envision themselves being how they really wanted to be. This role playing took some practice for them to feel comfortable even in a safe quiet, in the head, time... but the goal was this: If they could make their brain see them do something different than the norm, especially again and again, they could soon really do it. It was really retraining your subconscious to get out of the old habit and try on a new one. Most people who had a tenacious attitude towards changing, and were willing to do their visualization exercises would succeed to having their goal realized.
88% of the mind is where our habits live. 12% of our brain is our logical side.
Of course after visualizing this for 21 days or less worth of sessions...which can be done on your own by laying quietly, breathing slowly and doing the visualizing on your own....you would be surprised how you can do some of the things in reality, you only thought you could do in your mind. Then the more a person does these new actions...the more you convince your mind that you are that way.
We also asked our clients to write in script form each night right before sleep to write positive affirmations about their life and themselves to support positive messages to the brain. Examples of this could be: I enjoy socializing and talking with friends. (even if they did not) I love to try new things and find them adventurous, etc.
Also maybe write at other times in the day, your trials and tribulations, to help vent some. But give yourself a time limit to how many minutes you can write on negative stuff to keep yourself from drifting downward that day. I would write positives in the morning saying how thankful you are for the gifts in life you have. After school, maybe write for 10 minutes on your disappointments or fears, etc. Then leave that attitude there at the book...
Then work on having the best, rest of the day you can. Do the positive affirmations at night and see how that works for a week. Also before bed and in the morning try to do at least 5 minutes of visualizing you being more interactive than usual. Joining in where you want to , etc.
I am not trying to say your condition is mind over matter. But why not try these techniques and see if they could make a difference. You are young enough and wise enough to know that an effort for changes are a positive outlook! Also make sure to surround yourself with positive young persons out there if you can find them! 14 is not the most relaxed age for anyone ...but being around kids with good attitudes will be at the utmost importance when at all possible!
Take care and goodluck!
cejela
