why ppl dont want to be my friend...

[no1]

well.. being who I am.. I've been going through a period of tough times.. and it seems harder and harder to make friends. Ok, perhaps I'm not at my best, and I guess that means my "best" characteristics have not been shown right now to others. Which makes it hard.

Since first impressions are usually all that we have. A person is not going to want to stick with you until you show some improvement unless they are that nice.

Or that may not even be factor may not even be an issue. Maybe some if not... most people just dont want me to be their friend, or dont want to have a friendship with me. Just, an association.

More specifically though I guess, women don't want to make a friendship (with me). Perhaps they dont choose just anyone for their friends, boyfriends, etc. they are more selective about it I do not know.

There is this girl I met about a year ago.. we went out once and then she told me (after I asked her) that she doesn't want to hang out with me. She doesn't want to be like.. a "friend" who does things with her once in a while or whatever. I even had to beat it out of her. She made excuses like "oh I have enough friends right now.. I dont need anymore, not looking for one. don't want anymore" yea, ok, right. I bet if someone who she liked came along she would want to be with him/her. Then it became "well you just never sparked that kind of interest for me, we dont have anything in common." Nothing in common!? I think we had a lot in common. She doesn't care that I need a friend even though I told her. it's just her "individual preference" and I shouldn't care. Yea right? Just about every girl I know thinks the same way. No.. every girl I know. Nobody is 'interested' in me in no way whatsoever. In the beginning they are mystified by me, and want to know more. After that first day they lose complete interest to the point of not even wanting to talk to me for anything. Other than perhaps school work but even then usually they dont care for that either.

When can I ever have a female friend? I've never had one in my life. It was all just.. associates, and I was always left out. Same with males also I guess, unless they were lonesome also?

I dont know why I have to be such a reject. ok... I haven't been my best. Will someone ever like me for who I am? Not necessarily for what I can give them?

 

[SilentStranger]

Hey no1,

I don't know. I kinda touched on the fact that nobody want to be friends with me either on the Do you want friends thread.

I seems like somebody they can make fun of, somebody to associate with to get help from and only rarely hang out with when they have nobody to hang out with... you know their last resort.

I don't know why either. Maybe I have give out a loser vibe. Maybe I got nothing to offer in return. Maybe they will lose their social status if they hang out with somebody like me.

I don't know how I can change that.

At least you seem to be in a bit better position. You seem to be able to ask people for a date and good enough to be able to go on a date with... although it might be have been only once. I do not know where to begin on that front.

-SS

 

[danstelter]

Try not to take things so personally and be so bitter about girls not wanting to date you or be your friend.

Instead, focus on your positive qualities and develop your skills/talents so that you are someone that people want to be around. Nobody wants to be around someone with a bad attitude.

Why are these other people so important that you need their attention? The best thing to do is to know that you are cool and great and that you don't need other people's approval!

Finally, many girls, or anyone for that matter, are very rude and complete jerks and don't want to have any real friends, so you might be right to some degree.

In sum, don't get down about it, but rather keep your head up and keep doing what it is that you do best and make yourself into someone that others envy!