Who can you relate to on the SA forum?
- Thread starter lily
- Start date
Toad
Well-known member
I'm 20, a guy, I like long walks on the beach...oh wait... I suppose i can edit my introduction post which was waaaaay to long. Here goes:
- I’m 20 and currently studying to be a Civil Engineer (will be entering my Junior year this Fall).
- I find myself dwelling on my past and all the mistakes I have made and what I could have done better in those situations.
- I overanalyze everything.
- I’m a huge perfectionist, if I do something it has to be the best I can make it so that I have no regrets and can't look back at it and say “What if...?"
- I get really nervous in front of others or when I’m the center of attention in a group that is not my close friends. I’m fine with my friends but if I don’t know the people very well I normally don’t say much at all, it’s almost like I have multiple personalities. Also I find that when I’m in the presence of my friends parents, or “important” people I have to act all proper and shit.
- Can’t really make eye contact with people unless I have sunglasses on.
- Sometimes I get real dizzy if I have to do something that I hate a whole lot (presentations and tests for the most part).
- I’ve never had a girlfriend and I will never drink (alcohol that is).
- I hate it when people worry about me and I hate making people upset with me.
- Happy people piss me off (mainly because I can never seem to be happy...and happy people seem very fake to me).
- I don't give a shit about my appearance...in fact...I really don't give a shit about myself so I do stupid stuff sometimes because I really just don't care about myself at all.
That's the short and sweet version of the very...err...optimistic (lol...riiiight) me.
*edit*
one more...
- I'm a closet social phobic (shhhh don't tell)
- I’m 20 and currently studying to be a Civil Engineer (will be entering my Junior year this Fall).
- I find myself dwelling on my past and all the mistakes I have made and what I could have done better in those situations.
- I overanalyze everything.
- I’m a huge perfectionist, if I do something it has to be the best I can make it so that I have no regrets and can't look back at it and say “What if...?"
- I get really nervous in front of others or when I’m the center of attention in a group that is not my close friends. I’m fine with my friends but if I don’t know the people very well I normally don’t say much at all, it’s almost like I have multiple personalities. Also I find that when I’m in the presence of my friends parents, or “important” people I have to act all proper and shit.
- Can’t really make eye contact with people unless I have sunglasses on.
- Sometimes I get real dizzy if I have to do something that I hate a whole lot (presentations and tests for the most part).
- I’ve never had a girlfriend and I will never drink (alcohol that is).
- I hate it when people worry about me and I hate making people upset with me.
- Happy people piss me off (mainly because I can never seem to be happy...and happy people seem very fake to me).
- I don't give a shit about my appearance...in fact...I really don't give a shit about myself so I do stupid stuff sometimes because I really just don't care about myself at all.
That's the short and sweet version of the very...err...optimistic (lol...riiiight) me.
*edit*
one more...
- I'm a closet social phobic (shhhh don't tell)
Mary
Well-known member
Ok here's my list:
Picked on at school,
1st panick attack at 12,
Physically and verbally abused by Father,
Unsupportive mother,
Can't do eye contact too much,
Hate saying hello,
Hate opening presents in front of people,
Hate walking across rooms in front of people,
Used to drink heavily,
Attempted suicide at around 18,
Now am married for the past 8 years,
And also became a Christian.
Picked on at school,
1st panick attack at 12,
Physically and verbally abused by Father,
Unsupportive mother,
Can't do eye contact too much,
Hate saying hello,
Hate opening presents in front of people,
Hate walking across rooms in front of people,
Used to drink heavily,
Attempted suicide at around 18,
Now am married for the past 8 years,
And also became a Christian.
This seems interesting.
A short version of mine:
Shy since as long as I can remember, but mom said I was quite outgoing when very little (weird...).
Don't dare making eye contact.
Can't smile at people without feeling awkward.
Will not talk unless people talk to me first.
Soo...very... afraid of critical/judgemental kind of person.
Sensitive to other's opinion/criticism.
Hate to ask question.
Terrified at making mistake.
Unable to show kindness/attention to others (even to a close friend!).
Hate/scared to interact with people I don't know/not close (my biggest obstacle at work, arghh...!!!).
A short version of mine:
Shy since as long as I can remember, but mom said I was quite outgoing when very little (weird...).
Don't dare making eye contact.
Can't smile at people without feeling awkward.
Will not talk unless people talk to me first.
Soo...very... afraid of critical/judgemental kind of person.
Sensitive to other's opinion/criticism.
Hate to ask question.
Terrified at making mistake.
Unable to show kindness/attention to others (even to a close friend!).
Hate/scared to interact with people I don't know/not close (my biggest obstacle at work, arghh...!!!).
Meow
Well-known member
Thanks for sharing all your experiences and problems everyone cuz I know that takes guts phewwww here we go...
*Grew up poor, father woulnd't work
*Father physically and mentally abusive to mother
*Physically and mentally/verbally abused by both parents up untill I left at age 18
*Suffered a trauma (death) at age 10 which is when my problems started
*Molestered by 2 strangers on 2 different ocassions as a young child
*Raped while drunk at age 15
*Used to drink heavily as a teenager, but never slept around
*Experimented with drugs
*Never felt like I fit in
*Was one of the few non catholics in a catholic school system, was picked on sometimes.
*Began self harming at age 15 (not for attention I hid my wounds)
*Moved overseas to get married at age 19, healed some wounds but also it's made the SA worse.
The problems I have now
*Constant anxiety
*Severe depression
*Unable to leave the house alone on most days
*Afraid to learn to drive
*No friends live anywhere near me, all overseas or on East Coast so I feel very lonely
*Loving husband but doesn't quite get it
*Big issues with my looks/weight
*Very nervous around strangers and being spoken to randomly
*Tend to flirt with men as a way of not being myself, a cover up
*Very nervous of saying something wrong or doing something wrong around strangers & family
*Find it difficult ordering my own food/drink while eating out
*Find learning to do things in a new country very very difficult, riding the bus etc.
*Unable to work or attend school altho I want to do both
*Still self harm sometimes and hide it
*Grew up poor, father woulnd't work
*Father physically and mentally abusive to mother
*Physically and mentally/verbally abused by both parents up untill I left at age 18
*Suffered a trauma (death) at age 10 which is when my problems started
*Molestered by 2 strangers on 2 different ocassions as a young child
*Raped while drunk at age 15
*Used to drink heavily as a teenager, but never slept around
*Experimented with drugs
*Never felt like I fit in
*Was one of the few non catholics in a catholic school system, was picked on sometimes.
*Began self harming at age 15 (not for attention I hid my wounds)
*Moved overseas to get married at age 19, healed some wounds but also it's made the SA worse.
The problems I have now
*Constant anxiety
*Severe depression
*Unable to leave the house alone on most days
*Afraid to learn to drive
*No friends live anywhere near me, all overseas or on East Coast so I feel very lonely
*Loving husband but doesn't quite get it
*Big issues with my looks/weight
*Very nervous around strangers and being spoken to randomly
*Tend to flirt with men as a way of not being myself, a cover up
*Very nervous of saying something wrong or doing something wrong around strangers & family
*Find it difficult ordering my own food/drink while eating out
*Find learning to do things in a new country very very difficult, riding the bus etc.
*Unable to work or attend school altho I want to do both
*Still self harm sometimes and hide it
corsa
Well-known member
*always been shy.
* mum walked out when i was little, raised by my abusive father who i was scared of - therefore the home situation was always tense to say the least, so you learnt to make yourself "small" so he wouldn't notice you and pick on you as much.
* grew up poor. Period where my dad didn't work for 5+ years, and we would have to eat rice for a week because there was no money (or so he said, probably gambled it away or something).
*Always had trouble making friends, never thought i fit in. Didn't have the right clothes, shoes etc to fit in.
* Moved countries and my problem got worse because i started a new highschool and there was nobody there that i liked. I was teased and picked on as well.
* Runaway from home at 16, my father disowned me and told other family memebers not to talk to me.
*Moved cities to get away from father. Put myself through senior highschool. Worked nights so i had the money to do it.
*Share housed with a group of girls who were really catty, but i loved that i had the house to myself most of the time with no one there to yell at me.
* Made virtually no friends at the new highschool, felt really isolated, lonely and depressed having no friends and family. However i was really relieved to be out of my fathers house. Was really tired most of the time what with working nights and going to school during the day.
*Started drinking. Experimented with drugs.
*Let guys that i didn't like shag me, because ...well i don't know why really, everyone thought it was odd that i didn't have a boyfriend so i just had these guys around so it looked like i 'fit' in. makes me gag just thinking about it. Didn't have much self-respect for myself back then.
* Started blushing when i did a school presentation and it has kept going.
* Eye-contact makes me nervious. Don't like walking in front of a group of people. I always think people are talking about me and putting me down.
* Started making some friends at work, met my boyfriend.
* Moved cities again to go to uni, still with my boyfriend who supports me but doesn't really understand why i am this way. That's pretty much it/
* mum walked out when i was little, raised by my abusive father who i was scared of - therefore the home situation was always tense to say the least, so you learnt to make yourself "small" so he wouldn't notice you and pick on you as much.
* grew up poor. Period where my dad didn't work for 5+ years, and we would have to eat rice for a week because there was no money (or so he said, probably gambled it away or something).
*Always had trouble making friends, never thought i fit in. Didn't have the right clothes, shoes etc to fit in.
* Moved countries and my problem got worse because i started a new highschool and there was nobody there that i liked. I was teased and picked on as well.
* Runaway from home at 16, my father disowned me and told other family memebers not to talk to me.
*Moved cities to get away from father. Put myself through senior highschool. Worked nights so i had the money to do it.
*Share housed with a group of girls who were really catty, but i loved that i had the house to myself most of the time with no one there to yell at me.
* Made virtually no friends at the new highschool, felt really isolated, lonely and depressed having no friends and family. However i was really relieved to be out of my fathers house. Was really tired most of the time what with working nights and going to school during the day.
*Started drinking. Experimented with drugs.
*Let guys that i didn't like shag me, because ...well i don't know why really, everyone thought it was odd that i didn't have a boyfriend so i just had these guys around so it looked like i 'fit' in. makes me gag just thinking about it. Didn't have much self-respect for myself back then.
* Started blushing when i did a school presentation and it has kept going.
* Eye-contact makes me nervious. Don't like walking in front of a group of people. I always think people are talking about me and putting me down.
* Started making some friends at work, met my boyfriend.
* Moved cities again to go to uni, still with my boyfriend who supports me but doesn't really understand why i am this way. That's pretty much it/
Reholla
Well-known member
Good idea for this topic! Lets see...
- Confident yet shy child until about 7.
- Used to people telling me I'm cute, without having to say anything.
- I would hide behind my dads pant leg around anyone unfamiliar.
- Went through a stage where I could NOT sleep in my room. Got scary thoughts (not dreams) as I was going to sleep, and would never fail, I'd start the night in my room till I thought my parents were asleep, then sneak in and sleep on the floor next to my dad. This lasted a few months.
- During grade school had a lot of friends, and was really comfortable with myself, my self image. WAS outgoing.
- Moved in the 5th grade, leaving my first (and LAST) boyfriend.
- I remember moving and making new friends being hard on me.
- After months I was adjusted and enjoyed my new friends.
- Didn't make cheerleading in HS, but made the dance team that I wanted just as much.
- During HS had big trouble with public speaking. I thought this was something I would get with practice. And even though my friends assured me they got nervous too, I knew this feeling I would get was far past nerves, I just couldnt shake it.
- Tried out for dance team officer positions 3 times and never got them because a huge part of it was standing in front of the 60 member team, and all the loud people got the positions, a person that sweated and got completely nervous like me never had a chance. My director constantly reminded me that I needed to be more outgoing. She always reminded me of what I lacked. She constantly criticized me in front of the team, and called out my name. I think she was a big part of my anxiety developing. The last time I tried out i completely blew it. I was paralyzed almost, in the middle of teaching the team an 8 count of choreography. Most humilating experience. I ran off after crying, not even knowing how something could have happened like that.
- I quit my senior year. My best friend quit, and I thought being in it was making me unhappy. Little did I know what was making me unhappy was much bigger (ANXIETY)...My parents also moved again that year, and gave me the option of staying and graduating at my current HS so i didnt have to move. Took them up on that and lived with a family. I loved the parents of the family that I was with, but hated their dumb a whole kids. I cant explain how bratty and in my business they were. So there were 6 of us total, plus a girl that had about 5 different personality disorders. I know, who am I to judge some one with problems? But when it turns into compulsive lying and stealing my stuff, it affects me. So anyway I was pretty much ready for that year to be over. HS I did not enjoy at all.
- Now I'm in college and my anxiety is in full swing. Every day I think how half my friends have babys, husbands, or at least boyfriends, and I am SOO far from that.
If anyone actually read all of that, I will be impressed. I read most of the posts above mine and relate to a lot. So ya, my life in a nut shell!! (The depressing part anyway...) :-/
-
- Confident yet shy child until about 7.
- Used to people telling me I'm cute, without having to say anything.
- I would hide behind my dads pant leg around anyone unfamiliar.
- Went through a stage where I could NOT sleep in my room. Got scary thoughts (not dreams) as I was going to sleep, and would never fail, I'd start the night in my room till I thought my parents were asleep, then sneak in and sleep on the floor next to my dad. This lasted a few months.
- During grade school had a lot of friends, and was really comfortable with myself, my self image. WAS outgoing.
- Moved in the 5th grade, leaving my first (and LAST) boyfriend.
- I remember moving and making new friends being hard on me.
- After months I was adjusted and enjoyed my new friends.
- Didn't make cheerleading in HS, but made the dance team that I wanted just as much.
- During HS had big trouble with public speaking. I thought this was something I would get with practice. And even though my friends assured me they got nervous too, I knew this feeling I would get was far past nerves, I just couldnt shake it.
- Tried out for dance team officer positions 3 times and never got them because a huge part of it was standing in front of the 60 member team, and all the loud people got the positions, a person that sweated and got completely nervous like me never had a chance. My director constantly reminded me that I needed to be more outgoing. She always reminded me of what I lacked. She constantly criticized me in front of the team, and called out my name. I think she was a big part of my anxiety developing. The last time I tried out i completely blew it. I was paralyzed almost, in the middle of teaching the team an 8 count of choreography. Most humilating experience. I ran off after crying, not even knowing how something could have happened like that.
- I quit my senior year. My best friend quit, and I thought being in it was making me unhappy. Little did I know what was making me unhappy was much bigger (ANXIETY)...My parents also moved again that year, and gave me the option of staying and graduating at my current HS so i didnt have to move. Took them up on that and lived with a family. I loved the parents of the family that I was with, but hated their dumb a whole kids. I cant explain how bratty and in my business they were. So there were 6 of us total, plus a girl that had about 5 different personality disorders. I know, who am I to judge some one with problems? But when it turns into compulsive lying and stealing my stuff, it affects me. So anyway I was pretty much ready for that year to be over. HS I did not enjoy at all.
- Now I'm in college and my anxiety is in full swing. Every day I think how half my friends have babys, husbands, or at least boyfriends, and I am SOO far from that.
If anyone actually read all of that, I will be impressed. I read most of the posts above mine and relate to a lot. So ya, my life in a nut shell!! (The depressing part anyway...) :-/
-
thequietone
Well-known member
~I'm a nineteen year old female
~somewhat normal until I started school around age five and realized what jerks kids could be.
~Got quieter as I aged, small group of misfit friends
~Overbearing father as a little kid
~Diagnosed with OCD, and anxiety disorder at age 8, medicated
~Perfectionist, obsessive thinker, mild compulsions
~Panic attacks kept me from sleeping but I didn't know what they were at the time.
~Diagnosed with Depression at age 13
~Always felt the outsider, didn't fit in
~Started self injuring due to "social failures" and hid it at age 17
~Got even quieter
~I never want to cause people pain, never forget past regrets and mistakes, never want to be misunderstood or disliked
~Standards too high
~Age 19 went to therapy and found this site! Very slowly, I am improving.
~somewhat normal until I started school around age five and realized what jerks kids could be.
~Got quieter as I aged, small group of misfit friends
~Overbearing father as a little kid
~Diagnosed with OCD, and anxiety disorder at age 8, medicated
~Perfectionist, obsessive thinker, mild compulsions
~Panic attacks kept me from sleeping but I didn't know what they were at the time.
~Diagnosed with Depression at age 13
~Always felt the outsider, didn't fit in
~Started self injuring due to "social failures" and hid it at age 17
~Got even quieter
~I never want to cause people pain, never forget past regrets and mistakes, never want to be misunderstood or disliked
~Standards too high
~Age 19 went to therapy and found this site!
Very slowly, I am improving.
Nubly
Well-known member
28M
only have had one good friend
only have had one girlfriend
depression
SI
OCD
SAD
low self esteem
parents would often tell me how ugly and stupid i am
in college but have dropped out twice because of SA
SA flares up when i talk on the phone
am able to hold down jobs
am able to meet new people
SA has gotten better
only have had one good friend
only have had one girlfriend
depression
SI
OCD
SAD
low self esteem
parents would often tell me how ugly and stupid i am
in college but have dropped out twice because of SA
SA flares up when i talk on the phone
am able to hold down jobs
am able to meet new people
SA has gotten better
Emma
Well-known member
I'm a 20 year old loser female
I was normal until I was about seven
Babysitter abused me telling me I was dumb and that I would never have any friends, babysitters daughter (who was 13) abused my sister and made me watch. Babysitter blamed me for her 1year old son being run over, said it was my fault he would never have a normal life.
Evil babysitter tracked me down at school and threatened me
I was paralysed after a twig got lodged in my leg and got infected
Sent to a psycologist when I was nine, she said I was autistic (which I'm not)
Had surgery to improve my appearence, which led to me having my head stuck facing my left shoulder (don't ask how), which everyone stared at
Moved from Queensland when I was eleven, everyone bullied the shit out of me for having paled skin, crooked teeth and red hair.
Left school the next year after I was shovd down the stairs and beaten with a traffic cone.
Went to High School and earned the nickname "the silence", constantly called ugly and a nerd and a hunchback for having scoliosis.
Sent to a counsellor who made me play with puzzles as a cure...whatever
told I was a selective mute by doctor
Got braces on teeth, but stupid boyfriend punched me in the mouth and nearly knocked them out, laughed as I sat there bleeding and crying.
Got beaten up in the park on my way home and groped by a group of guys, police did nothing, had to drag myself home when I could barely walk
Currently have no job, am still hunchback
Father is an alcoholic, which is why I won't drink, My Mother worries constantly about what will happen to me, says I'm killing her, constantly being told by my sister that I'm a freaking retard and she's glad she doesn't look like me.
Well to sum it up I'm a mute hunchback who stays at home all day
I was normal until I was about seven
Babysitter abused me telling me I was dumb and that I would never have any friends, babysitters daughter (who was 13) abused my sister and made me watch. Babysitter blamed me for her 1year old son being run over, said it was my fault he would never have a normal life.
Evil babysitter tracked me down at school and threatened me
I was paralysed after a twig got lodged in my leg and got infected
Sent to a psycologist when I was nine, she said I was autistic (which I'm not)
Had surgery to improve my appearence, which led to me having my head stuck facing my left shoulder (don't ask how), which everyone stared at
Moved from Queensland when I was eleven, everyone bullied the shit out of me for having paled skin, crooked teeth and red hair.
Left school the next year after I was shovd down the stairs and beaten with a traffic cone.
Went to High School and earned the nickname "the silence", constantly called ugly and a nerd and a hunchback for having scoliosis.
Sent to a counsellor who made me play with puzzles as a cure...whatever
told I was a selective mute by doctor
Got braces on teeth, but stupid boyfriend punched me in the mouth and nearly knocked them out, laughed as I sat there bleeding and crying.
Got beaten up in the park on my way home and groped by a group of guys, police did nothing, had to drag myself home when I could barely walk
Currently have no job, am still hunchback
Father is an alcoholic, which is why I won't drink, My Mother worries constantly about what will happen to me, says I'm killing her, constantly being told by my sister that I'm a freaking retard and she's glad she doesn't look like me.
Well to sum it up I'm a mute hunchback who stays at home all day
Emma
Well-known member
I wouldn't say I'm sad...just a bit disappointed with life right now...I still think things might work out for me one day, just like I'm sure everyone else wants there life to work out. I guess I have one friend I can talk to, I just never thought they would understand...plus I don't like telling anyone things...maybe one day
Emma
Well-known member
I'm sort of glad to hear I'm not the only one who's been fed those stupid lines by hysterical people, I didn't know that being shy or anxious made someone lazy.....wow I didn't know that it could cause such laziness, I guess everyone can just snap out of it then!!! Wow, everyone here, stop being lazy (I'M BEING SARCASTIC!!!)
And I did end it after he did that, and thankfully I still have all my teeth.
As for the babysitter, they know, I got pulled right out of staying with her and haven't seen her again since....Does anyone know that calling someone lazy and saying that they're killing someone doesn't actually help the person, is it just something to make the person saying it feel better? So they think they have power
And I did end it after he did that, and thankfully I still have all my teeth.
As for the babysitter, they know, I got pulled right out of staying with her and haven't seen her again since....Does anyone know that calling someone lazy and saying that they're killing someone doesn't actually help the person, is it just something to make the person saying it feel better? So they think they have power
black_mamba
Well-known member
You guys are a strong, tough bunch. Seriously. A lot of you have had incredibly difficult situations to deal with, things which I cannot believe humans do to each other, yet you are still here and still have hope for the future. I find that so amazing.