WHO CAN RELATE to my anxieties ??

[online1010]

My main anxiety or fear is reading in front of others. If theres any more than 3 or so people i have to read to, out loud, i literally go crazy. For example, in class (26 or so people), The teacher may call on somebody to read a paragraph or something. When i am picked to read its like a nightmare. It feels like everyone in the room is intentively following along and studying every word i read. I get so nervous, my heart thumps sooo loud that it feels like the person next to me can hear it. Thats not even close to my worst syptom though. When i read its like im totally out of breath. I cant say more than 2 or 3 words without squeeking because of fatigue. Its like ive ran 3 miles in 10 minutes, and im forced to read. I litterally say 2 words...take a short breath....2 more words.... take a short breath. I can also feel my face heat up and get red. I am aware that half the people are probably sleeping or day dreaming when i read, but ive had this problem for a half year now, and knowing doesnt seem to help at all!

It gets so bad that i would rather tell the teacher, "no i cant read" or "I'd rather not read right now", but the teacher would most likely ask why, and then what do i say ? "um because it embarasses me?". It is really weird for me, because i have never witnessed anybody else not being able to read like me. There are people who are slow or mess up a lot, but nobody even comes close to what i go through, and ive heard many people read. It is very very embarassing. And also, its not like i dont know how to read. I am able to read out loud to myelf when nobody is around very fluently and with zero symptoms. Can anybody relate at all ?



I also have a lot of anxiety with just regular presenting in front of the class, with many, but reduced symptoms. Does anybody have techniques or tips for me to reduce symptoms or any advice at all that would help ?

 

[super7695]

reply to online 1010

Yes yes i know this feeling VERY well. I've dealt with this issue for years, actually my whole adult life. Public speaking, etc. but reading in front of others is especially bad. And people who don't experience this don't understand. I look at it as entering a tunnel. As soon as I start to read I enter the tunnel. Now i can't escape until I exit the tunnel. It is like there is no turning back. Nothing but the sound of my voice and the walls closing in continually as I can only think about the end of the tunnel. How many pages, how many paragraphs, how many lines? I can't even focus on a word I'm reading. Then I hit a point where it is basically panic attack time. Tremors, can't move.
How to deal with it? Try to have a sense of humor. In reality noone is really listening to you that much. People realy don't give a shit. They are thinking about when it is their turm to read or checking out some girl (or guy) across the room. Try to take a prop to class, like a water bottle. It is your life boat. It is just kind of there as a bailout. " Oops, seeing as my voice is scratchy, I need to take a sip of H2o." At least you know it is there as your lifeboat to escape the tunnel if neccessary, therefore maybe the tunnel has a sneak exit after all any time you need a breath of air.
Plus I think the panic response has something to do with lack of control in the situation. The teacher is, after all, making the decision that you should read. Maybe it is a subject that you are not into and you feel kind of put on the spot. Is there a subject you love? If you had to do a report on something you are really into and it was your report, your words, something that nobody else could follow along on a page as you read, would it be easier?
Hang in there. You are not crazy. Thank goodness for the internet and that the information on this is out there. I spent years thinking I was schizo over this issue. I have it under control pretty well now but every once in awhile get caught offguard in a situation and the panic response can set in.

 

[eliot]

i think this is a really common fear. i dont know if this helps but in school i was always terrified of reading aloud and my throat would go dry and id sound like i had a really bad cold.

coming to uni i had the same fear but the first time i had to read aloud to a small group im not a great reader being dyslexic and no one could really understand my scouse accent so everybody laughed at me, which surprsingly really helped at reducing the fear, and now well people oftern laugh but im much less scared.

hope that helps a bit, hang in there!

 

[deleteduser]

I get this too, in fact when i am in class, that is all that is going through my mind 'is she going to pick me?'. when the teacher does, all these things happen to me, like i cant think properly, my head feels sort of heavy, my heart races, and worst of all, my voice completely changes! it sounds nothing like my normal voice, it sounds like a different person! and also, about 10 minutes later, i am still thinking about it, and i look around to see if people are still looking at me

 

[maggie]

I get this too, in fact when i am in class, that is all that is going through my mind 'is she going to pick me?'. when the teacher does, all these things happen to me, like i cant think properly, my head feels sort of heavy, my heart races, and worst of all, my voice completely changes! it sounds nothing like my normal voice, it sounds like a different person! and also, about 10 minutes later, i am still thinking about it, and i look around to see if people are still looking at me

hiya hanny....you just described me exactly.....for me, i think the stress of sitting there waiting to be called on....is the worst part...and i'm not listening or focusing on anything else...except hearing my heart beat...and panicking...cause i could be called on next

 

[deleteduser]

hiya hanny....you just described me exactly.....for me, i think the stress of sitting there waiting to be called on....is the worst part...and i'm not listening or focusing on anything else...except hearing my heart beat...and panicking...cause i could be called on next

Hiya maggie, thank god its not just me whose voice changes

 

[tewstroke]

I have the same problems with reading out loud as all of you do. Like right now in class we are reading a play and everytime i walk in there all i can think of is getting picked to read and when she did pick me i nearly died. i think i did a pretty good job minus a couple of cracks in my throat but i have no idea what that entire section of the play is about now, oh well it actually has improved over the years i noticed that i get less gitty about it now :lol:

 

[lonelycranberry]

hi online 1010,super79..,maggie,hanny,tewstroke!!
u have 1 more addition to the list n thats me!u all just dscribed me..so u c online1010 this is a very common problem!
but with me, it was long ago..i mean im no longer in school but in college n we don have to read stuff in col. but i can vividly recall each discomfort i had to go thru while reading in school.
its not like u cant do any thing about it,,u just have to tell ur mind before u start reading that u can handle somethin as petty as this ..its no big deal man....i can read well ya....nobody damn cares how i read....n positive stuff like that.
u no they say to make something appear small place something bigger in front of it. try n make this problem small by tellin ur self that its a small issue.that u have handled bigger things than that.
i have this problem but i still participate in competitions. i am a gud singer n i do participate in singing comps n win the first prize also. its not a very enjoyable exp. coz i have to constantly keep talkin to my mind about positive stuff but still i do it coz the regret that i did not do it because of my sa will be even bigger than the discomfiture i have to face in front of the crowd.
we have been made like this . this is how we r n 4 somehting like this we will not let our opportunities go....i constantly tell myself that. each day is a big struggle but i have to live thru it coz thr is no other way. so what if we have so much struggle in our lives which normal ppl cant even imagine......we also have so much strength to cope with it.....think about that...n also think that we r not alone..c thr are so many ppl like us arent thr??
so online1010 all i want to say is-fight !!!!!!