I am currently traveling the world with my girlfriend of 8 years and what should be a dream for me is a nightmare. I cant stand social situations,act all wierd when speaking to people am constantly terrified of being judged, im so paranoid and nervous all the time and people are starting to notice, I have recently given up drinking due to it increasing my paranoia and causing aggressive behavoiur, I have been sinking deeper into social phobia for years but only has the extent of my madness and need for help sunk in, I am having suicidal thoughts and crazy ideas of running away and becoming a hermit, I obsess about all this 24/7 at the moment, my girlfriend keeps asking why i am quiet and whats wrong but i cant answer as none of it makes sense to me, I dont know what to do or where to turn to, my paranoia is so self fueling as before i could get by just being quiet and staying in the background but now my face muscles are twitching and head feels like it will explode. I almost dont feel human anymore.
The internet is confusing things, is it OCD, Paranoia, SAD. I have never been good in crowds but this is insane i worry about every move i make and everything i say.
I know there is no quick fix which sinks me deeper into gloom and her mother is coming out in a couple of months and i petrefied at her seeing how odd i am.
Im willing to pay for online help if anyone has any advice or try any drug that might help.
Aaaaarrggggg
The internet is confusing things, is it OCD, Paranoia, SAD. I have never been good in crowds but this is insane i worry about every move i make and everything i say.
I know there is no quick fix which sinks me deeper into gloom and her mother is coming out in a couple of months and i petrefied at her seeing how odd i am.
Im willing to pay for online help if anyone has any advice or try any drug that might help.
Aaaaarrggggg
