What should I do?

[megamoviejohn]

This is my first post and I was just wondering what I need to do. I just turned 21, I live with my father(40) and sister(17) and we just moved from Alabama to Virginia Beach. I have always been shy my entire life. But the past few years I can't go off alone or I feel very nervous and out of place. I get sick and can't stop shaking if I think I'm going to have to answer a question or talk in front of people I don't know, so I usually take a bad grade to avoid talking. I talked my dad into letting me take online classes this semester because being around strangers right now scares me. I try to stay at home as much as possible and I only like to drive to blockbuster and back to get some movies so I can stay at home more. I can't walk anywhere without thinking about tripping or if I look ok and if people are judging me. When I see a group of people I make an effort to avoid them or wait for them to leave. I HATE going out to eat and getting haircuts, the thought of people watching me eat and just looking at me during a haircut makes my heart race. I didnt even celebrate my 21 birthday because I didnt want to leave home, I also missed my best friends birthday party a few months ago because it was dinner and a movie.

The worst thing, my family and friends just think I'm lazy.
I say I don't want to work but the truth is I don't think I can, the thought of working with strangers all day kills me. This just sucks, my dad wants to go to Busch Gardens and I wont even go because its such a busy place. You are the first people I've told this too but I guess I'm pretty messed up huh?

 

[megamoviejohn]

Today was a bad day, my dad made me go to the movies with him and though I enjoyed the movie it was very crowded and I felt awful the entire time. It felt good to get out but I didnt like being around so many strangers. I have been trying to get a puppy because I think it will seriously help me out a lot. Knowing I have to take it for walks and stuff, maybe I can try and meet some people while walking it? Just a thought though.

 

[A_Void_Ant]

Hey john, your situation is very similar to me. I am 20 and live with just my mom and have extreme shyness issues, but good news for you I have gotten better over the years and I know you will too.

You are already doing the best thing for yourself, and that is being aware of your issues and taking action to solve them. You think a puppy will help? I'm sure it will! And yes, walk it! Force yourself to walk him as much as you can.

I was just like you when I went to the movies last night with my mom, sister, and brother. The theater was cram-packed when we walked in and I felt like the entire audience was starring at me as we looked for seats. Even worse, we sat in the front, and since I'm on the taller side, my head stuck up and I felt people looking at me the whole time. I couldn't laugh at the movie, even though it was funny. I was stiff and red-faced the whole time. I slowly started sliding my body down to get my head below the back of the seat.

As bad as that sounds, three years ago I would have chosen to sit at home. It hurts me inside, but I have trained myself to go out in public sometimes because that's the only real way to get better.

Best of luck to you.

 

[megamoviejohn]

PJS, when I was sitting there, a group of younger people came and sat directly behind us, it really ruined the movie for me. I was stiff and red the entire movie, like they were staring at me, but I know they arent! But I couldnt overcome them being there. I wouldnt have gone but I was pretty much tricked into it, my dad said we were going to blockbuster and he just showed up at the movies. I thank him for doing it now but was also pissed at him badly at the time. I'm short though, so no issues about my head being in the way lol.

It feels good to talk about this though, I actually forced myself to go out some today with my family of course, I dont talk to anybody and sort of dont talk to them either in public, but I at least got out 2 days in a row. I would tell my dad about this but he would probably try and get me help and I don't like talking to strangers really so I dont know how talking to a stranger could really help ya know? Weird situation this social phobia thing is. I hate that some days I feel better about it and then some days I can't even leave the house, makes me look like an asshole to my family when I make excuses about not going off.

 

[Rob_1]

I hear you.

I suffer from anxiety as well. You should check out a book that really helped me. It is Triumph Over Fear by Jerilyn Ross.
I started a Blog to help me work through my anxiety and depression. Please check it out and let me know what you think. http://rob-fearandloathing.blogspot.com/