What help do you want?

[nickabcuk]

Hi everyone,

I've not posted for a while, but I hope you are all ok.

After considering the pro's and con's of each options, your current finances and current level of social anxiety, which one would you seriously like to be available to you and would consider investing in?

Assume that all three approcahes involve similar teachings and exercises that work well.

a) Audio Programme - with workbook (£99 / US$199): Audio programmes are beneficial becuase they can help you stay more motivated compared to book, you get more of a connection with the person's who's helping you, they require less effort and can be listened to while driving or walking. They are more expensive than books though, don't contain as much information as a book, and aren't quite as tailored to your needs as a interactive course.

b) Book (£9.99 / US$19.99): A book is good becuase it's cheap & contains lots of information, but it is much harder to stay motivated and apply what's in a book, it is not tailored to your needs and is hard to use on the move. Many dont' succeed in reading or applying what's in a book. It's is easier to misinterpret what's said in a book as you can't hear how something is expressed and there is no one to ask if you don't understand.

c) A 2-week intensive course + comprehensive handouts (£299 / US$599): A course can be partially tailored to your needs, there is someone there to clarify things and other people to practice with. You will be much more likely to apply things on a course as you are there and everyone else is doing it, and you will also be able to get feedback on things. A course is much more expensive though, may be too anxiety proviking for some and may involve travelling and arranging accomodation.

Please choose carefully as the most popular option will probably be produced.

NOTE: Currency conversions aren't exact but please use the one most relevant to yourself. You can probably think of more pro's and cons of each so consider them too.

Many thanks for you time 8)

 

[LibertadIlusoria]

Actually, if I just had a real friend, that would make all the difference in the world with helping my social anxiety. Wait - you said realistic, so I guess I'd have to go with the book. It's more affordable, and I like books better than audio programs. I also wouldn't want to go talk to a stranger about it for two weeks (or at all).

 

[pitkreet]

I'd probably prefer to attend a self-help/support group, to meet with people with the same problems, to try to help each other get better.

As there appear to be none remotely close to where I live, I'd probably prefer an audio program but with accompanying written material (because it's too easy to miss bits on an audio program, so the written material would help to enforce the lessons).

But the written material should not be too dense (ie. too many pages of endless text, as I tend to lose interest), but relatively short, snappy and to the point, complementary to the audio material.

 

[italiano]

drugs help no matter wot people say, anti depressants make me feel better and beta blockers,
they are a step for u to improve, respect to the drugs!!

 

[nickabcuk]

Thanks for the comments so far.

Thoughtless, some of the information that was in my posts in still available on my support group website as downloads (www.sawest.org/sessions.html)

Pitkreet, if you wanted to a start a support group in your area I'd be happy to provide you with some guidance from my own experiences of running a group.

 

[friendlyshygirl]

I would like to go to a self-support group to interact with other people with SA. I believe we can help each other.


P.S nickabcuk your support group website is great and very helpful especially the SA Issues. Thanks [/quote]

 

[pitkreet]

Yes please, nickabcuk.

I've been on the waiting list for CBT for nearly a year now (having expressed to my GP a wish for group therapy) and having heard nothing for a year, am starting to wonder if I'm really on a waiting list for anything or if my has name fallen off the list.

So I was thinking of going back to my GP to ask again about group therapy, but with the idea at the back of my mind of starting a local group (probably inspired by reading some of your posts from last year about how you and a few others started the SA-West group).

But I would have no idea as to where to start; how to find, and then approach, other local people with the same problem; how to go about finding a premises at which to meet; what format the meetings should take; does it need a knowledgable (of SA and treatment) and non-SA or SA-cured group leader to oversees it, or do we just muddle through as best we can with no guidance, structure or particular aims.

Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.

 

[qipuqipu]

Actually, if I just had a real friend, that would make all the difference in the world with helping my social anxiety. Wait - you said realistic, so I guess I'd have to go with the book. It's more affordable, and I like books better than audio programs. I also wouldn't want to go talk to a stranger about it for two weeks (or at all).

Agreed with everything. I respect doctors know know their stuff, but I just don't need that kind of support. Far better (for me at least) to have someone who can just accept you and give you the room needed to grow. I'm terrible at keeping friends though.

I'd also prefer the book, because I'm stingy

 

[nickabcuk]

Support Groups & Friends

Pitkreet

I'll send you some info in due course, I'll PM you so you have an email address for me. I've also just posted this idea on another forum...

I was thinking about maybe producing some kind of information pack to help people get support groups started up around the country and running effectively and sustainably. I've helped a few groups get started and would like to inspire more people to have a go as they seem to help. Maybe there could be a central web site for them all with each groups details and support group facilitator support and funding help etc. as well as a forum where groups could share ideas and arrange meet ups with other groups.

Any thoughts on this?


Qipuqipu & LibertadIlusoria,

I think I understand what you mean about just needing a real friend, someone who's honest, open and is willing to stick around through the good and the bad. Someone who's accepting and non-judgemental and who we feel safe about opening up to and sharing the more secret parts of our lives with.

With social anxiety it's our fears about opening up to people and letting others into our lives that prevents such friendships from forming. I think it's a lot to ask for someone to open themselves up to us and let us into their personal life without that being reciprocated within a reasonable period of time with them being uncertain about whether their social and intimacy needs (intellectually / emtionally) will be met any time soon. If someone did persist then it's likely that a relationship of dependancy would develop and that probably wouldn't be healthy for either party.

So really what I'm trying to say is that we have needs for such friends and that is what most are aiming for, but it's about having the understanding and knowledge to change and develop ourselves first so we feel able to do what's necessary to develop such relationships in our lives.

I hope that makes sense and is tactful,

Nick.

 

[pitkreet]

I was thinking about maybe producing some kind of information pack to help people get support groups started up around the country and running effectively and sustainably. I've helped a few groups get started and would like to inspire more people to have a go as they seem to help. Maybe there could be a central web site for them all with each groups details and support group facilitator support and funding help etc. as well as a forum where groups could share ideas and arrange meet ups with other groups.

I think this is an excellent idea!

I'm sure I'm not alone as an SAer in feeling that meeting with fellow SAers could be perhaps the most beneficial and motivational thing we could do, but it's knowing where to start.

A central website offering a list of known existing groups thoughout the country, along with advice/information pack on how to start a new group, would be an excellent resource.

I reckon that making sure that any nationwide list of groups remains up to date could be a challenge, given that some groups may rise and fall quite quickly, but that aside, I'll happily offer any practical support that I can towards such a project (eg. I have some web development skills - html/basic javascript).

btw, I've sent you an email.

Thanks.

 

[qipuqipu]

@ nickabcuk

Hmm... food for thought. Such an 'ideal' friendship would indeed be very demanding on the behalf the person who is offering it to you. I'm sure such people exist who can be these friends, but it would be hard to find them, and painful waiting for them to show up. It's also hard to develop yourself on your own. Still, I suppose it is better to rely on yourself, and not end up pressuring someone and driving them away.

Neh... back to getting that positive attitude.

I mean - positive attitude! Woo!

 

[nickabcuk]

Anymore thoughts (or votes) on what product you'd like to see that could help you with your social anxiety/phobia?

N.

 

[Danfalc]

I was going to say book.. but i buy books with the best intenions and sometimes find them hard to follow and stick to due to my bad concentration ect.So the audio set with workbook would be the best one for me personaly as i wouldnt be confident enough to attend a group (which i do think would be the best idea,cept only it will cut a certain % of people out from being able to do it due to there anxiety being too severe)

Im on benefits and therefor not exactly loaded and the audio programe is alot of money.Even so i would be totaly willing to save and buy it.I think if you want to help yourself enough you will save hard enough aslong as you have faith in the product.