Wedding anxiety

[Funnyduck]

Since some other people are talking about wedding jitters, I thought I would share my own fear: My wedding day!

I am engaged and I am supposed to have this wedding a year from now. I have not planned anything (so far it's all being planned by my boyfriends mom). It is almost as if I am digging my heels in the sand, stalling as much as I can (while dealing with much pressure from my soon to be mother in law).

I do not like being the centre of attention. All eyes on me; makes me feel ill. I told my boyfriend this and know he thinks the reason I feel this way is because I do not want to marry him. I do not want to hurt him so I dropped it. I have tried to ignore my own feelings and decided to deal with them when the day comes. Nevertheless, I still do not want to get married.

It's more than just walking down the aisle; there are the formalities to think about, the thank you's, the wedding shower, and worst of all: the stupid wedding speach thanking everyone before dinner! ARG!

Would it be selfish to cancel the wedding? Everyone is so excited except me.

Should I just suck it up and let it happen? Drink a lot of wine, lol. Get wasted on my wedding day.

I do not feel as though I will regret cancelling everything, I think the only consequence will be the anger from my boyfriends family.

This really sucks. His family is great, they really are. My boyfriend is the best. Our life together is so good. Everything in my life is fine until I have to be centre of attention....makes me cry everytime! (in the bathroom of course).

 

[Scottish_Player]

First off Congratulations on getting married

All i can say is that it is your day and it should go the way you want it,but iam not sure if its too late for that now.Could you not cancel it and rearange with fewer people?

When and if i ever get married it will be a small amount of people just imidiate famlay, i would want no more than 20 people but even thats a crowd for me :? and it woundt just be my day i would have my wife to be to consider :?

But who knows maybe i will have gotten over it by the time i get married,heres hoping

 

[fallenfeather]

weddings

I feel exactly the same way. My girlfriend talks about marriage and while I would love to marry her in a few years time I am dreading the day it actually comes!

I talked to my girlfriend about it and she said we could have a really small intimate wedding in a little chirch on a cliff edge over looking the sea (which we found when out driving the coast roads once). We will only have her mum and dad, my mum, my granny, and my 2 younger sisters at the ceremony and the whole thing will take place at sunset. The little church will be lit only by candles (so it's nice and romantic) and it will be a very calm, quiet evening. After the ceremony we'll get on a little boat (just the two of us) and sail out to the little island (20 minutes away) and have our own special little secret vows etc. and exchange a few little gifts. Then we'll go home and enjoy the rest of our quite little life together.

That's the plan anyway! She know's I won't get married unless it's a small little ceremony like that and she would actually choose that over the big alternative anyway. She's just amazing.

 

[fallenfeather]

weddings

I feel exactly the same way. My girlfriend talks about marriage and while I would love to marry her in a few years time I am dreading the day it actually comes!

I talked to my girlfriend about it and she said we could have a really small intimate wedding in a little chirch on a cliff edge over looking the sea (which we found when out driving the coast roads once). We will only have her mum and dad, my mum, my granny, and my 2 younger sisters at the ceremony and the whole thing will take place at sunset. The little church will be lit only by candles (so it's nice and romantic) and it will be a very calm, quiet evening. After the ceremony we'll get on a little boat (just the two of us) and sail out to the little island (20 minutes away) and have our own special little secret vows etc. and exchange a few little gifts. Then we'll go home and enjoy the rest of our quite little life together.

That's the plan anyway! She know's I won't get married unless it's a small little ceremony like that and she would actually choose that over the big alternative anyway. She's just amazing.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hey, i'm not even engaged and i dread it too! i suggest getting something for performance anxiety. or wear a viel

or you could suggest having a small wedding, or small, calm reception. remember, it's YOUR day too, you shouldn't have to worry about it, it's supposed to be fun for you too, don't be afraid to speak up customise the wedding the way you want. if you don't wanna do the speach, don't do it. i recomend you try and relax with some meds and give it a shot but otherwise, like i say, just only do what you feel comfortable doing. does your b/f know in dept about your anxiety? i highly suggest you talk to him about it, even if he thinks you just don't wanna get married, make him understand. good luck, and don't feel rushed or pressured into something you don't wanna do

 

[maggie]

hey Funnyduck, don't feel bad..i can't even fathom being bridesmaid, much less be the one gettin married 8O It's your marriage and your life, so hopefully you can do it the way that makes you feel more comfortable...if you're only gonna stress out about it, it's not really fair to you...does your fiance know how you feel? would he care if you had very small, intimate kind of wedding?