Wanting to help my little sister

[StonerBella420]

Heyy everyone Im bella, 22 years old, Im writting and making this blog to see if anyone on here knows anything about ADHD (Attention Defect Hyperactive Disorder), ODD (Oppitional Defient Disorder) and Memory Relapse, I have a 10 year sister named Sophia who was diagnosed with these things at 5 years old also she was diagnosed with seperation anxiety and I was wondering if anyone knew some ideas or even plans on to help her be more interested in learning new things, my mom has home schooled my sister from grades 2 - 5 and she hasn't done any of the work, she is very behind on a lot of things, especially math and science, her spelling is ok... but shes at a lower level in that too, her strenghs right now are computers... shes pretty good with her typing and has knowledge with downloading things and that.. seems she has followed me her sister in that path, also she sometimes does like to draw anime with me and watch movies... I just wonder to anyone who has a sibling with this or even parents on here is their any advice as a sibling for me to be able to help my sister learn more things and be able to comprehend it? I am worried for her future, also she has a big issue with washing her face and brushing her teeth, it is always a hassle and a big deal for her half the time she mouths off so bad that me and my mom just give up and let her go because she can be that much of a handful, also she is very addicted to her tablet, so much that she doesn't want to go for family walks or do anything active... and we as a family are trying to get out and walk and be more healthy but it is so hard when she is mouthy, whiney and defiant. all we want is the best for her and well to see her have a future, and we are concerned and worried (me and mom) please if anyone has some advice on how you can disapline them or teach them better to understand the concepts, your feed back would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Opaline]

Unfortunately I don't have any great advice, I just wanted to say I can relate because my little brother is autistic and has a lot of the same behaviors (always on electronic device, stubborn/defiant, trouble with school, very short attention span, low frustration tolerance). We do the best we can with him, and he has a counselor, but it's still very tough sometimes.

The most helpful thing I've found is talking to him kindly but firmly and trying to "get on his level" - so it doesn't seem as if we're just trying to power trip him. Incentives - like candy - work now and then too. But your sister isn't autistic, and she's not my brother, so I don't know if it would make any difference (and maybe you've already tried those things).

 

[StonerBella420]

thank you so much for your feedback, we have seen psychtrists and they just want to dope her up on damanging medications, I myself have Aspbergers disorder, and my mom had me on medications for my behaviour, I almost could have died, because from age 6 on till I was about 12 I was on medication and it was damaging my liver and so my mom doesnt want the same thing happening to my sister along with myself. the problem is, if your stern with her, she lashes back and acts out being mouthy... she doesnt like to socialize with anyone or be around too many people but also she is too fixated of her tablet. my mom and I are concerned for health reasons especially with her personal hygene... she got her monthly visitor just last month and she had a fit even though we prepared her for this and she is only 10 years old but we try to be stern and tell her we will take her electronics away, she seems to get more defient and more angry... its very frustrating because of the adhd but also the defiance disorder. we have also tried visual charting and like even post it notes and rewards for good behaviours but nothing seems to phase on her. she hates being clean and that and it really worries my mom and me because she is starting to get acne and blackheads on her face and were scared for her teeth that they will rot if she dont brush them and or also disease... we try to tell her these things and lots of other people too including some neighbours/some kids her age and nothing works, we even had a children services worker here to talk to her, a police officer to chat to her about schooling, we have had the doctor tell her and psychtrist tell her and a social worker that she had too and nothing seems to be working, my mom has dedicated a lot of her time to try her best to help my sister get caught up and be at least close to level with other children her age but my sister seems to not care at all... were worried and dont know what to do because my mom wants to get a job, I want to go further with my education and also work out and I tried to tell my mom to get her a membership at the ymca with me so that she can do some programs while I work out but my sister lashed out and said no way... and everytime me and my mom want to go out, she never wants to go and gives us such a hard time aka kicking, screaming, crying, punching and kicking us, being very mouthy.. she doesnt swear thankfully yet but she still is very defiant..

 

[Taden]

I wish I knew how to help, without knowing your sister personally, I'm limited in the advice I could give.

Children and adults alike enjoy learning about things they feel passionate about. I would say possibly showing her the more fun sides of science and math. Would she learn better if it was more of a game then like school? That may allow her to feel interested without feeling that people are controlling her (regarding her ODD). If she likes computers, there may be a teen/kid site with science and math games on it? I know that there are games like that for reading and writing as well online. I hope that helps, Bella =]

 

[StonerBella420]

Idk my mom has tried the online circulium and we have tried educational sites because a neighbor of ours daughter plays learning games because she does learn better but problem is my sister isn't interested in also told Sophia about our plans this summer taden and how we want to go biking and walking and that I was gonna try to get her to join us but she doesn't want to and also she doesn't want to go to the gym with me either in feel like such a terrible sister

 

[StonerBella420]

yea maybe its just her thing I guess... its just my mom is just worried for her health because she doesnt want to learn anything and if something ever happens to me and my mom what will she do? like were worried on how she would take care of herself and learn how to live on her own, shes not interested in anything... like I dont really like going out myself because of anxiety but I have been going out a lot more and have learned that listening to music and tuning the world out is a lot easier on me when Im out going for walks or out at the gym working out. were just worried for her future if she will be able to support herself with like life and a job etc... because shes not learning anything much at all and she hasnt met anyone her age because shes not interested and or wont stay at any programs to socialize with people her age.

 

[StonerBella420]

I don't know what's going to happen with her! We're more just worried on personal hygiene because her teeth will rot if she doesn't start brushing them... Like it's a big deal for her to brush her teeth wash her face and brush her hair!!! Like she thinks were rude and mean when we're telling her, for her own good!!!

 

[Taden]

Cause she's 10 she's just about to go into 'teen' mode where her brain chemistry is going to be developing and her hormones are going to make her very moody. I think the thing to remember is that when she is finally an adult, she'll be more mature and much calmer then she seems now. She'll look back then and appreciate the help that you and your mother tried to give her. If she doesn't want to excersize with us, that's fine. I would like to meet her though at some point if that's alright with you and your mom and sis of course. I wanna get to know her and maybe see if I can help you and your mom cause I love science and kids. Plus you're my best friend and I wanna try and help you out as much as I can.

 

[Taden]

Well. Shes just a youngin. Kids tend to not like brushing their teeth ehehe.

That's very true. I didn't brush my teeth regularly until I was 14-16

 

[StonerBella420]

Hmm I guess that is true... Hopefully she will grow outta these things, I'm just worried that she will gain too much weight like I did and end up with Health issues cause she is very lazy right now with just playing on the tablet and she's starting to gain weight... Which my mom doesn't want to her in the same situation that I'm in with trying to be healthy again and being at a normal weight. Of course I was talking to my mom taden about our plans this summer and that and she thinks that it is great, but my sister on the other hand I don't know if she will ever decide to join us cause usually in the summer she does play outside a lot with the neighbour hood children but I think she's scared cause we had a lice outbreak last summer and kept getting it... So it was a bad summer, and so my siste doesn't want that again along with me and my mom... So idk I'm hoping I can try to persuade her to join us at some point in time if she will.

 

[StonerBella420]

No, me and my mom would never hear the end of it, she would literally spazz out and yell at us like no tomorrow!!!

 

[StonerBella420]

Lol she loves her facebook, Instagram and this thing called meez... My mom don't care that she has it she just hates that she's on it like all day long... Sure I like my tablet and laptop too but I do other things during the day like reading and writing and actually go out for walks and that... I just been sick this past few weeks and just getting over it now so hopping to get back into a routine of walking and heading back to the gym

 

[Bronson99]

Unfortunately I don't have any great advice, I just wanted to say I can relate because my little brother is autistic and has a lot of the same behaviors (always on electronic device, stubborn/defiant, trouble with school, very short attention span, low frustration tolerance). We do the best we can with him, and he has a counselor, but it's still very tough sometimes.

The most helpful thing I've found is talking to him kindly but firmly and trying to "get on his level" - so it doesn't seem as if we're just trying to power trip him. Incentives - like candy - work now and then too. But your sister isn't autistic, and she's not my brother, so I don't know if it would make any difference (and maybe you've already tried those things).

Your little brother is like me.

 

[StonerBella420]

Good that you are getting better with your routine. Sounds like she would have some friends if she is using facebook right? or is it just random online people for facebook as well. Looked up Meez. The avatars sort of creepy looking to be honest. Sorry if that is offensive to say. Just my opinion. It is basically a chat room it looks like though. Sounds like she tends to be rather uh social online.Based off of what sites she tends to use.

Yea she is very social online, infact she actually talks to a lot of guys online, their like from all over the world too... And it sorta scares me because people can be creeps and she doesn't realize that, than again she doesn't have her real name up on Facebook and or meez and or her picture up anywhere so at least she's safe that way... But still... You never know about people and like what they know. I don't really use to avatar sites, but I did use to use imvu but I got bored with it :/ I only use facebook and Instagram and well now this site... Because it seems their some great stories on here and that, that I can relate to.