Wallowing
- Thread starter flake__
- Start date
coriander1992
Well-known member
totally agree.
I try not to come on here too much now, i'm sick of all the negative self-pity.
Yeah you have a right to be sad, but not if you don't try to help yourself. There is no magic cure.
I try not to come on here too much now, i'm sick of all the negative self-pity.
Yeah you have a right to be sad, but not if you don't try to help yourself. There is no magic cure.
AnxiousGuy
Active member
Ya know...this thread jumped out at me. LOL! I'm glad you started it instead of me cause I know there are folks who hate it when your trying to give constructive criticism that may help them. I hope everyone in this forum will READ THIS... Get out of your head!!!
I have had people tell me this from time to time in different places over the years. I didn't know exactly what they meant at first but now I know. They were speaking from their own experiences. I heard a prominent psychologist once say (sorry , I don't have his name in front of me) that..."99% of all illnesses are psychosmatic" You become what you think about most.
Remember, I'm not the message, just the messenger.
I have had people tell me this from time to time in different places over the years. I didn't know exactly what they meant at first but now I know. They were speaking from their own experiences. I heard a prominent psychologist once say (sorry , I don't have his name in front of me) that..."99% of all illnesses are psychosmatic" You become what you think about most.
Remember, I'm not the message, just the messenger.
AnxiousGuy said:
Lol! i await the hate mail...
nah it's a tough one, i just had a major anti-wallowing moment for a second! Cos i post positive stuff, not just on this forum, and i want everyone to get better....but i'm starting to realise some people don't actually want to get better. Well they DO but at the same time they're trapped in this wallowing state of mind, so they will never get out.
And it's tough cos SA is really horrible and hard to deal with and so yeh people are upset and sad and depressed, understandable. I had to vent when i first came on here and i am REALLY GRATEFUL i was able to and got sympathy from all you nice people. It was only then i thought, well i want to think positive now.
You shouldn't be hard-hearted to yourself and say you don't DESERVE to wallow exactly. But our minds trick us...they can make us think wallowing is actually GOOD for us. We think we are 'winning' if we get to wallow, we say 'i have a RIGHT to wallow'. But what is this all about?! Wallowing makes us feel terrible, even more down, focus on the bad, not be able to see a way out, and hate positive people that come up with ideas.
When it is actually in YOUR interest to think positive. You're actually 'winning' alot more if you think positive. Hell, you could think your day, your life was amazing if you wanted to! And your day would be so much better for it. If you focus on the positives you feel good. Fact. If you try to get out of SA, you might just get out of SA. And that would be great for you! You would 'win'!
Ads7800
Well-known member
The desire to wallow in fear, as opposed to making positive steps to change, is sometimes unfortunately rooted in comfort.
It sounds crazy, but for some people it's just more comfortable and easy to stay sick. The phobia begins as an unwanted hell but slowly morphs into a convenient excuse not to have to join society, because that requires effort and arouses fear. Wallowing in loneliness may be easier, but in the end you lose so much of yourself.
The good intentioned friend or relative stating 'things will get better' is somewhat misleading. Things don't just 'get better', action is required to make them better.
It sounds crazy, but for some people it's just more comfortable and easy to stay sick. The phobia begins as an unwanted hell but slowly morphs into a convenient excuse not to have to join society, because that requires effort and arouses fear. Wallowing in loneliness may be easier, but in the end you lose so much of yourself.
The good intentioned friend or relative stating 'things will get better' is somewhat misleading. Things don't just 'get better', action is required to make them better.
AnxiousGuy
Active member
flake__ said:
Well put flake. If you weren't so far away I'd invite you out for a cup of coffee or a beer. You should change your ID to read..."cool guy"
This is the most upbeat post I have read since I joined.
You have definetly got what it takes to be a leader.
steel_sparks
Active member
i agree action is needed, i'm only just starting to realise this after getting pissed off that wallowing wasn't working (i wasnt really expecting it to but you know what i mean) and reading some of the newer threads on here. i'm now constantly telling myself positive thing like i can talk and i'm not scared. In every other aspect of my life i thrive on facing the fear like bungie jumping, i went to new zeland purely to do that cus i love the rush, so why not do it on a daily basis.