Visiting Mother

[FAY_70]

Hey There,

New here

I feel ike I am the only one in the world with this. Throghout my childhod my Mother was pretty critical of most things I did and how I looked. I live apx a five minute walk from her house and probably see her once or twice a year. My own daughter doesn't even know her.

She has been getting in touch a fair bit recently wanting to meet up etc but the thought of it brings me out in a sweat. I don't want to see her really. The anxiety it causes by just thinking about it is almost to much to handle.

I feel like I am crazy. It's like having social anxiety thats so bad I can't see my Mom! She was pretty awful during my years of living with her it was a constant stream of insults.... You're an embarrasment,you need to lose weight,your hair,teeth etc are gross. Often accusing me of being mentally ill. Which at the time I wasn't just a normal kid really but now if she was to say that she would probably be right I suffer depression and anxiety,OCD in various forms.

She hasn't really mellowed in ageing either she is still pretty much the same according to my 17 year old sister who I am in contact with and who lives with her. If it wasn't for my daughter I would have moved but she is settled in school etc.

I just have no desire to see her. Is this crazy?

Kind Regards,
Thanks For Reading.

 

[shon]

Hey, welcome to the forum!

My dad was pretty much the same way with me and he hasn't mellowed out either. It's perfectly normal for you to not want to see her. You don't owe her anything and since she hasn't changed much, she may not acknowledge how wrong she was for treating you like that. I don't talk to my dad much either, I'm lucky enough to not live near him. When he does see me, he's bossy (like I'm still a child) and I don't like how he tries to give me parenting advice!

 

[antie]

I feel ike I am the only one in the world with this.

You are not alone in this. Whenever I am presented with a dilemma like this I always ask myself this question. Is this person good for my mental health? If the answer is no. Stay away. No matter what relation they are.

Whats the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I think you know you are always gonna get the same result. Be kind to yourself. Move on.

 

[FAY_70]

Thanks for responses guys makes you feel a little better knowing your not on your own with it!