Hi, I'm new here, but I really need an objective opinion on the situation I currently find myself in.
There's this guy. (I guess this is how most of these start...) We've known each other for almost a year now, and I've had feelings for him for quite some time. We're both completely socially-awkward and terrible with relationships. There's also an age difference: he's 31 and I'm 24, but in my opinion, age ain't nothin' but a number.
Anyway, we're both in theatre and are very devoted to our theatre. Months ago, he asked me to be on the board of directors, to help out with props for the shows, kept saying that I should audition more, etc. And two months ago, he asked me to be stage manager for his Christmas childrens' show, which, of course, I accepted right away, then he bumped my title up to assistant director, which meant we spent a lot of time together.
This isn't to say that we only do theatre, we hang out all the time. We have movie nights at each other's places, we go out to see other shows, he even came over last weekend and helped me trim my tree (in the complete literal sense) He buys me drinks, asks me to the movies, tells me that we "click" and even our best friends (who happen to be husband and wife) joke about us dating more than most actual couples.
He told his best friend, who in turn told his wife, who told me, that he wasn't sure what to get me for Christmas because he wanted to let me know that he has feelings for me, but didn't want to come off as too romantic or creepy if I didn't share those feelings.
Well...after we trimmed the tree, we went to our friends' house for a small Christmas party, just the four of us. We had drinks, played strip games (which is the first time I've ever done ANYTHING that bold in front of someone I wasn't currently involved with), played truth or dare, which involved licking whipped cream off of certain body parts, though it wasn't too sexual, at least from a theatre person's point of view...anyway, we're winding down and our friends were were snuggling and he said that I could put my legs on him if I'd like to lay down. Well instead, I did the old head on the shoulder snuggle and he put his arm around me and after awhile, the others went up to bed. I was perfectly content to just lay there, we were holding hands and then all of a sudden he pulls my face up to him and we're kissing. After we come up for air, I asked, "Just friends, huh?" He smirked and said, "Well, what do you think?" We continued with our escapades and in between he kept saying things like, "I think we can make this work.", "You and me? We're gonna be fantastic." He didn't force me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with, because it has been a while for both of us, we ended up sleeping on the couch together (no sex) and in the morning he gave me a kiss goodbye.
Well, later on in the day, he calls and apologizes and said it was a mistake and that he feels horrible, and asks me what he said last night. So I told him. He groaned and said that he can't be in a relationship, he's made a choice to be alone because he doesn't fully understand himself right now, he's damaged goods, he is still really messed up from his ex and he doesn't want to subject anyone to himself, blah blah blah. But, I believe him, he hasn't had the best luck with women and from what I've gathered from his friends and from what he's told me himself, his ex really did a number on him and he's scared.
All he kept saying was that he couldn't lose me, I mean too much to him, and that he couldn't imagine his life without me. Never once did he say that he's not attracted to me, or that he didn't want what happened that night.
I wanted to be mad at him, but I find myself unable to do so. I wanted what happened, hell, that was the whole point of that night. I just wish he could see himself the way that I see him. He's my best friend. He's smart, funny, kind, dependable and totally worth love. And he's not the kind of guy to just do what he did on impulse with any woman, I know that. Plus, I really do think he meant what he said, in wine there is truth right?
I guess I'm just confused with this entire situation and just need someone to talk to about it. Am I just pathetic for even considering waiting around for him or do you think there's a chance for something? Help?
There's this guy. (I guess this is how most of these start...) We've known each other for almost a year now, and I've had feelings for him for quite some time. We're both completely socially-awkward and terrible with relationships. There's also an age difference: he's 31 and I'm 24, but in my opinion, age ain't nothin' but a number.
Anyway, we're both in theatre and are very devoted to our theatre. Months ago, he asked me to be on the board of directors, to help out with props for the shows, kept saying that I should audition more, etc. And two months ago, he asked me to be stage manager for his Christmas childrens' show, which, of course, I accepted right away, then he bumped my title up to assistant director, which meant we spent a lot of time together.
This isn't to say that we only do theatre, we hang out all the time. We have movie nights at each other's places, we go out to see other shows, he even came over last weekend and helped me trim my tree (in the complete literal sense) He buys me drinks, asks me to the movies, tells me that we "click" and even our best friends (who happen to be husband and wife) joke about us dating more than most actual couples.
He told his best friend, who in turn told his wife, who told me, that he wasn't sure what to get me for Christmas because he wanted to let me know that he has feelings for me, but didn't want to come off as too romantic or creepy if I didn't share those feelings.
Well...after we trimmed the tree, we went to our friends' house for a small Christmas party, just the four of us. We had drinks, played strip games (which is the first time I've ever done ANYTHING that bold in front of someone I wasn't currently involved with), played truth or dare, which involved licking whipped cream off of certain body parts, though it wasn't too sexual, at least from a theatre person's point of view...anyway, we're winding down and our friends were were snuggling and he said that I could put my legs on him if I'd like to lay down. Well instead, I did the old head on the shoulder snuggle and he put his arm around me and after awhile, the others went up to bed. I was perfectly content to just lay there, we were holding hands and then all of a sudden he pulls my face up to him and we're kissing. After we come up for air, I asked, "Just friends, huh?" He smirked and said, "Well, what do you think?" We continued with our escapades and in between he kept saying things like, "I think we can make this work.", "You and me? We're gonna be fantastic." He didn't force me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with, because it has been a while for both of us, we ended up sleeping on the couch together (no sex) and in the morning he gave me a kiss goodbye.
Well, later on in the day, he calls and apologizes and said it was a mistake and that he feels horrible, and asks me what he said last night. So I told him. He groaned and said that he can't be in a relationship, he's made a choice to be alone because he doesn't fully understand himself right now, he's damaged goods, he is still really messed up from his ex and he doesn't want to subject anyone to himself, blah blah blah. But, I believe him, he hasn't had the best luck with women and from what I've gathered from his friends and from what he's told me himself, his ex really did a number on him and he's scared.
All he kept saying was that he couldn't lose me, I mean too much to him, and that he couldn't imagine his life without me. Never once did he say that he's not attracted to me, or that he didn't want what happened that night.
I wanted to be mad at him, but I find myself unable to do so. I wanted what happened, hell, that was the whole point of that night. I just wish he could see himself the way that I see him. He's my best friend. He's smart, funny, kind, dependable and totally worth love. And he's not the kind of guy to just do what he did on impulse with any woman, I know that. Plus, I really do think he meant what he said, in wine there is truth right?
I guess I'm just confused with this entire situation and just need someone to talk to about it. Am I just pathetic for even considering waiting around for him or do you think there's a chance for something? Help?
