University Students and SP

[thequietone]

I was wondering...........how many people manage to live away at college? For me, a twenty minute commute and living at home is hard enough. So, how do you function in the college environment?

lol, I know I haven't made any friends and that's the way I want it....I think. :? but I always feel like I'm not living like a REAL college student, drifting around like I ghost the way I do,not making any connections, sitting in the back, doing my work and getting straight As.

Also, have you kept in touch with old friends? I have, sort of against my will, but things are so different now, everyone has changed and moved on.

The media portrays these things as so much different from my reality. I just want to see how other people cope with this situation.

 

[Pitrus]

Im still gone go to college this year and we will c. I know i made few friends and alot of enemies in my high school. Basicly all the american kids were pissing me off, so i just hated them. Then on the other hand i was living good with the Mexican and other Polisch kids. I hate those American kids that they think theyre lives are so great and they are so fabulous. I can bet i can teach them alot about live couse I went through alot alot more then any of them could ever even imagine. I just hate those kids and I wish I never c them again. Fuck u rich american selfish, narcist and degenarating generation.
Ps: Not talking about everybody herejust those I mentioned.
I need to add that when I came to America I noticed that its only the American kids that are so fucking stupid about liking others and boeing cool. Fcuk U stupid kids life is not about boeing cool its about making friends with people the way they are. I went to Polish achool and English private school at the same time and in english school i wasnt that much of a cool person or anything people knew me for boeing quiet but in my Polish school I really knew everyone about 100 people and most of them liked me or were neutral about me.

 

[thequietone]

I can imagine that it would be SO much harder to be in a different country and deal with SP. Good for you Pitrus, for hanging in there. I'm not sure if I could cope with such a thing.

I know how you feel about not fitting in. I live in an affluent area, lots of rich snobby kids who all care about clothes, partying, and "who you know" and "what your parents have". I have never fitted in among them and I don't care to, but if you look hard enough, there are normal people everywhere. There are also jerks everywhere, unfortunately. :? I know if I joined some clubs and got involved I could make some new friends and connections.

The problem is...having the courage to take that step and be dedicated to your decision. I have not reached that point yet, but I hope it will come.

 

[Toad]

Yeah...I live away at college during the school year. I pretty much just stay in my room when I'm not in class though. The only "club" I am in, I am not really required to communicate with anyone in it, I just spend a lot of time designing experiments and performing them. That is the extent of my social life at college...one friend who helps me with my experiments. I do have three other friends that I spend time with...watch movies occasionally and that's about it.

I know what you mean when you say you don't live like a real college student...I feel like that a lot. I don't go to parties, don't drink, don't skip class, don't go to any social events. Apparently college is the best time of your life...I'm sorry but if it is the best time of my life I really don't care to live.

As for keeping in touch with high school friends...I've only really kept in touch with 2 of them...talk online to a few others now and then, although I haven't done anything with anyone for over a month now. My friends are beginning to get in serious relationships and are getting married, and I still haven't been in one relationship. I would start whining that it isn't ever fair, but when has it ever been? Whatever...I'll just continue existing in my shrinking bubble.

 

[PhantomPod]

I live away at college. It's about an hour from my house. This past year was my first year. It didn't go exactly as expected as expected. I wanted to try to be a lot more outgoing and everything, but it didn't end up happening. For the first 6 months I basically just stayed in my dorm room after class just on the computer, watching tv, and sleeping. And I went home every weekend.

The last 3 months were great though. I studied abroad in Sweden and I had such an amazing time. There were 19 total of us who were there together, so we basically all got along pretty well and had a good time, and I actually got to experience have a social life for a change and going out to clubs and drinking (and the mean hangover lol). It was a fun time. I made two really great friends. Only thing is they don't live all that close.

As for keeping in touch with old friends... I never had any in the first place, to try to keep in touch with.

 

[Pitrus]

Well I have a loads of friends I guess that It all depends on a persons character on how are they gone deal with their situation. I have alot of those best friends everywere In poland and in chicago but I have one that is really special and a really the one best friend of all.

 

[Reholla]

I know what Pitrus is talking about...
most of the people around me are two faced, they are quick to judge, they are obsessed with appearances, and only worry about themselves and it makes me sick. Also, in the city where i live in people are materialistic and pompous so ill be trying to live on campus at a college in a small town. Right now i commute to a community college doesn't even have community. People after class just disperse like ants.

Well, I agree with you in a way, but I have found that to get through my anxiety, I cant be critical of myself or OTHERS. You have to accept people as they are, and in return love yourself. And youre right, most people are NOT as considerate as those with anxiety. But just think of it as a reason for you to overcome your anxiety, because nice and confident friendly people are much needed! So that can give you motivation to get over SA.


And back to college. It's definitely not what I envisioned my "college" llife to be like at all. But then I never thought Id have SA either. I hate how the "best time of my life" is passing me by, and I have no control over it. I am not enjoying it. But i just have to keep telling myself Id rather be unhappy now, and working on improving things, like beliefs and thoughts. I get depressed thinking about my 2 close HS friends that I grew up with that are married (one with a baby). And nearly everyone else in at least some kind of relatinship. I am so far from that. But what can you do? All you can do is focus on the present. I just tell myself once I MYSELF am happy, things will be more enjoyable, and relationships will come.

The college scene is hard. Some one at my university commited suicide by jumping off a parking garage after finals!!! Stress can be really depressing i guess. Like 40% of all college students are depresed (not necessarily people with SA)....Sorry if im scaring any of you that are depressed. I have depressing times too....but what I tell myself is that just because you feel depressed, doesnt mean you really have a reason to be....we are going through hard times with anxiety. Its adding such a burden to our lives, and even though we can control it eventually, people aren't really seeing the "real" us....so we shouldnt be depressed. Anything that happens, we know if we didnt have anxiety we would have handled that situation so much better. I dunno, hopefully that helps!!


I just wrote like a book.....but in Summary: college is def. hard with anxiety on top of all the other stressors!! But i feel lucky i have the oppurtunity to go to college. I feel what yall are going through..

 

[Jack-B]

All,

Without other people it's very difficult for someone with SP/SA to be happy. Sounds a bit like a contradiction right?

We all want to make connections with others, we all want to be having fun, feel like we belong and are part of something.

When i was at college, i got stoned and wrecked down the pub because of my influencing peers and lack of understanding of life, i messed up the course and became extremely depressed for it. I thought back then i was having a great time but i was actually wasting opportunities in my life.

What i see as more important these days is generating a warm heart of love to all people and helping others - this is a real cause of happiness. This is what will sustain your happiness through the rest of your life.

Sometimes having 'friends' can be more of a distraction. This isnt blanket advice for anyone to not go out and seek friendhips, just more in the way of saying see how these friendships benefit your life and your sense of happiness.

Jack

 

[Reholla]

All,

Sometimes having 'friends' can be more of a distraction. This isnt blanket advice for anyone to not go out and seek friendhips, just more in the way of saying see how these friendships benefit your life and your sense of happiness.

Jack I completely agree, but you have to understand that some peoples needs are different than others. Some people are completely content with being really close with only a few people, or just knowing a bunch of people.

I completely agree that you wont necessarily be happy once you get X number of friendships or that date with the guy youve had a crush on. What honestly depresses me is that my anxiety causes me to be incappable of such friendships. At least lately