Franky000
New member
Ok, where do I start? I've been suffering from SA since I was 12 years old. It all began with my looks, and the feeling that everyone's eyes were focused on me. This triggered negative thoughts - that I was ugly and different to everyone else, and this has continued to this very day. I can't even step outside my own home without thinking that people are staring at me and judging. I'm convinced my neighbourhood think i'm a weirdo recluse who likes to decapitate animals in his backyard. :s
The thing i'm most ashamed about is that i've only ever had one summer job, and that was in some shitty warehouse. It brought me out of my shell a little bit, bit I found it really hard to communicate with anyone.
When i talk to people, i find it hard to maintain eye contact, and so i usually end up looking down at their chests or whatever, which is a real ice breaker with the girls as it just makes me look rapish.
I failed my second year of university and am now taking a year out, just to sort myself out. Thing is, i've been unemployed ever since July, and am stuck at home with the folks, who are pressurizing me to get a job, which is understandable. I've tried explaining my condition to my dad, but he doesn't take me seriously. One of my friends from university is doing his work experience in my home town, and we go out every weekend...if it weren't for him, i'd be an emotional wreck.
I've got a few things to keep me occupied during the week-days...like my guitar and the film script which i'm currently writing...but my ultimate aim is to get my ass in gear and get a job, no matter wether it's cleaning public shitters or wiping asses in an old people's home. A man's gotta make a living, and i'm constantly scrounging my parent's money which they put in my bank account while I was at universty.
Well anyway, sorry for babbling, but i'm glad I got all that out my system...it helps me put things into perspective. This is a great forum as sometimes i feel as though i'm the only one with this damn illness.
Peace dudes. 8)
The thing i'm most ashamed about is that i've only ever had one summer job, and that was in some shitty warehouse. It brought me out of my shell a little bit, bit I found it really hard to communicate with anyone.
When i talk to people, i find it hard to maintain eye contact, and so i usually end up looking down at their chests or whatever, which is a real ice breaker with the girls as it just makes me look rapish.
I failed my second year of university and am now taking a year out, just to sort myself out. Thing is, i've been unemployed ever since July, and am stuck at home with the folks, who are pressurizing me to get a job, which is understandable. I've tried explaining my condition to my dad, but he doesn't take me seriously. One of my friends from university is doing his work experience in my home town, and we go out every weekend...if it weren't for him, i'd be an emotional wreck.
I've got a few things to keep me occupied during the week-days...like my guitar and the film script which i'm currently writing...but my ultimate aim is to get my ass in gear and get a job, no matter wether it's cleaning public shitters or wiping asses in an old people's home. A man's gotta make a living, and i'm constantly scrounging my parent's money which they put in my bank account while I was at universty.
Well anyway, sorry for babbling, but i'm glad I got all that out my system...it helps me put things into perspective. This is a great forum as sometimes i feel as though i'm the only one with this damn illness.
Peace dudes. 8)
