L
Live another Day
Guest
My Social phobia started a long time ago in primary school even though I wasn’t really aware of what it was at the time. I had all the usual problems of sweat and nervousness and palpitations if I had to read aloud, most of the other guys seemed fine with that. I’ve had to deal with this feeling of awkwardness all through life, a lot of the time trying to cover it up by whatever seemed most natural at the time, sometimes it would work, sometimes I would make a fool out of myself and then have people even friends laughing at me which really makes matters worse. Other times especially the last couple of years I just go into a big surge of panic attacks and need to just get out of there as fast as possible, and when it isn’t possible, well, I just sit there and go mental.
My idea of it
I never really have a problem with one on one interaction,( unless its over a counter in a shop or someone behind a desk in an office) as it always seems you can be more direct, sincere and honest and there is less judgement. With a group the quality of interaction I think is lost and you get a lot of judgement and anticipation and quiet moments, nervous laughter, things can get sarcastic and one feels the need to perform and impress, and everything seems a lot more altogether “Fake”.
I can understand someone seeing the likes of us as the weaker of the species as I guess in these situations, well, we are! Also staying at home etc makes us look lazy and not interested in life, which makes us losers. I have to agree I am lazy and comfortable staying inside and am not really interested in life sometimes to the point of suicidal tendencies. Lets be honest We are a bunch of self obsessed people that feel sorry for ourselves a lot of the time, BUT, would we be like that if we weren’t afraid of people?
I don’t think so, it is the root of our problem, and the rest are just the branches.
Trying to deal with it
I finally realised this was a problem last year when my gf dumped me (really harshly) and I went through a period of depression, I was an air traffic controller assistant! Great job but needed to get away anyway other stuff in life happened and I returned to college and had to be in groups most of the time, my bubble finally burst. I was staying at home for weeks on end without coming out (agoraphobia) and it was ruining my life. I tried hypnosis on tapes at home, before all of this I went to a psychologist, so the final straw was to go to the doctor and he prescribed me with effexor and xanax. The xanax had me falling asleep and looking like a zombie the lecturers knew without doubt I was on something. Effexor did help a little bit as it helped me talk to people even when I was nervous I found that people appreciated the effort I was putting into it even though my actions and speech where nervous it was aggressively so and people seemed to accept that more than freaking out or shying away. It was basically just speed so you can see how that would work, and it did help me along a little bit even after I finished the dosage now. I also attended further psycho analysis but figured they wherent helping me and they where just looking for money, too expensive!
Conclusion
I guess what I am trying to say is I don’t think you can ever get rid of social phobia its imbedded in who we are, but I do believe a certain amount of desensitising does help and also medication helps you to see a little bit of how “normal people” might live.
I have found that, for me at least, it is a balance of the two. For example I will worm my way out of any situations I find will be too hard for me, and if something comes on unexpected like a panic attack I just say oh here we go again, let it pass and tomorrow is a new day and all that, well obviously I am not that relaxed when it happens but that is my rational thought. The best we can do is act if our life is normal and lead as normal a life as we can, so as not to upset anyone else, otherwise we are just looking for attention and that’s the last thing we want!!
The good qualities:
I do however believe it makes us see things differently to live this way, we would be very compassionate people especially towards anyone else in an awkward situation and would usually be able to jump in and alleviate the problem somehow by distracting attention, as we know how much appreciated that would be. We are almost empathic towards other people. A lot of us would be very deep thinkers and very intelligent and some to the point of spirituality which actually makes us much more wholesome beings than a lot of humanity out there on a Saturday night!
Statement to public
I really believe there is little or no awareness of this phobia and yet so many people have it some are scared to say anything about it as they think they will be labelled mentally ill. It is not taboo! If we really want to help other generations let us investigate and share how to combat it in everyday situations. Maybe in the US it is more recognised but not in Europe. We need billboards, TV advertising!! Common health systems get your butt in gear, ok I know there is a lot more important issues to tackle out there but a lot of people here could be the doctor or scientist to find the solution to those problems, if we can be helped the world will benefit!
Live another Day, August 2004
My idea of it
I never really have a problem with one on one interaction,( unless its over a counter in a shop or someone behind a desk in an office) as it always seems you can be more direct, sincere and honest and there is less judgement. With a group the quality of interaction I think is lost and you get a lot of judgement and anticipation and quiet moments, nervous laughter, things can get sarcastic and one feels the need to perform and impress, and everything seems a lot more altogether “Fake”.
I can understand someone seeing the likes of us as the weaker of the species as I guess in these situations, well, we are! Also staying at home etc makes us look lazy and not interested in life, which makes us losers. I have to agree I am lazy and comfortable staying inside and am not really interested in life sometimes to the point of suicidal tendencies. Lets be honest We are a bunch of self obsessed people that feel sorry for ourselves a lot of the time, BUT, would we be like that if we weren’t afraid of people?
I don’t think so, it is the root of our problem, and the rest are just the branches.
Trying to deal with it
I finally realised this was a problem last year when my gf dumped me (really harshly) and I went through a period of depression, I was an air traffic controller assistant! Great job but needed to get away anyway other stuff in life happened and I returned to college and had to be in groups most of the time, my bubble finally burst. I was staying at home for weeks on end without coming out (agoraphobia) and it was ruining my life. I tried hypnosis on tapes at home, before all of this I went to a psychologist, so the final straw was to go to the doctor and he prescribed me with effexor and xanax. The xanax had me falling asleep and looking like a zombie the lecturers knew without doubt I was on something. Effexor did help a little bit as it helped me talk to people even when I was nervous I found that people appreciated the effort I was putting into it even though my actions and speech where nervous it was aggressively so and people seemed to accept that more than freaking out or shying away. It was basically just speed so you can see how that would work, and it did help me along a little bit even after I finished the dosage now. I also attended further psycho analysis but figured they wherent helping me and they where just looking for money, too expensive!
Conclusion
I guess what I am trying to say is I don’t think you can ever get rid of social phobia its imbedded in who we are, but I do believe a certain amount of desensitising does help and also medication helps you to see a little bit of how “normal people” might live.
I have found that, for me at least, it is a balance of the two. For example I will worm my way out of any situations I find will be too hard for me, and if something comes on unexpected like a panic attack I just say oh here we go again, let it pass and tomorrow is a new day and all that, well obviously I am not that relaxed when it happens but that is my rational thought. The best we can do is act if our life is normal and lead as normal a life as we can, so as not to upset anyone else, otherwise we are just looking for attention and that’s the last thing we want!!
The good qualities:
I do however believe it makes us see things differently to live this way, we would be very compassionate people especially towards anyone else in an awkward situation and would usually be able to jump in and alleviate the problem somehow by distracting attention, as we know how much appreciated that would be. We are almost empathic towards other people. A lot of us would be very deep thinkers and very intelligent and some to the point of spirituality which actually makes us much more wholesome beings than a lot of humanity out there on a Saturday night!
Statement to public
I really believe there is little or no awareness of this phobia and yet so many people have it some are scared to say anything about it as they think they will be labelled mentally ill. It is not taboo! If we really want to help other generations let us investigate and share how to combat it in everyday situations. Maybe in the US it is more recognised but not in Europe. We need billboards, TV advertising!! Common health systems get your butt in gear, ok I know there is a lot more important issues to tackle out there but a lot of people here could be the doctor or scientist to find the solution to those problems, if we can be helped the world will benefit!
Live another Day, August 2004
