Ok here goes I tend to waffle so bear with me.
I was on seroxat for about 3 years and to be honest they were not my cup of java in the long term. I built up a tolerance for the therapeutic effects but not ,unfortunately, for the side effects. So I quit them through personal choice.
Like any good GP does he/she will stick you right back on another AD if it's not working, to me not an option so I declined and asked for benzos as I'd heard or read about their efficacy for panix/anxiety etc. Doc said no dice son but have some propranolol and while your at it check out CBT. Pff yeh right. Why, thankyou I said and off I went wondering how far I could stick them right up his arse. Propranolol ? please..
So dear friends , after a couple of weeks of hellish withdrawal, mainly severe anxiety coupled with depression, I decided that I needed something else and thus began my glorious adventure into the world of benzos.
I did some research into their effects and side effects which appeared minimal in comparison to AD's so decided these were just what the doctor ordered and viola, a visa number, a couple of clicks of a mouse..bingo..los drogas were winging their way to casa madhat. After another 3 weeks of exquisite withdrawal courtesy of seroxat the xanax finally arrived and I was now in benzo heaven. I started popping a milligramme after work to relieve the SA , woops then I started popping them at work to relieve the SA but I wasnt getting the right effect I wanted ie blissful euphoria, I was still anxious. Easy solution..up the dose. So I did, ahh perfect but whoah I was unsteady on my feet but felt hmm fine. I knew I was too out of it to drive so I called in sick for a week, great no problem hurry up and get better son. Oh no I ran out, I was hammering back too many to keep up the GABA hit. So rather than brave the rising tide of anxiety I nipped off to my GP again and told him the story, this time he was a little more pliable. Hey he said rather than getting them from the net or other dubious sources I'll prescribe them for you but our practise prescribes diazepam. What was the dosage you were on?. I lied, I said 2mg tabs but unbeknowest to him and me 2mg of diazepam is about the same as 0.2mg of xanax hey I was knocking back the equivalent of 20mg every few hours. So I was given a months supply which I gobbled up in a week, woah doc they werent the same. I let it all out this time and he said, there's no quick fix son but instead of 2mg we'll give you 5mg tabs and an additional 3 weeks off work oo yeh thats the baby...boom done this batch again in a week. This time though my family got involved as I was really out of it. Another batch from the doc but only under supervision from my family...now wait a minute who the hell is in control here.. so i went ballistic. Throwing stuff at them calling them allsorts but there was nothing i could do but give in. I conceded. So instead rather than have someone control me I stopped. Oh joy another round of withdrawal from a different drug and now after all that I'm still off work, practically housebound for fear of human interaction or facing work and the unending questions of my illness. The sent me of to CBT school which hehe isnt the cure all they make it out to be. All I get is a monthly visit with corky the clown who reads from a fucking(are you allowed to swear?) book that I bought years ago who has no idea of what a person in this situation could possibly be going through and the rest is history.
I did do E when I was younger on occasion but I could never get the same thing twice and had no idea what else might be mixed in there coupled with fact I read they cause lesions on your grey matter I decided that a good drink or two was enough when going out. It isnt but there ya go, I wouldnt reccommend them. Hash or whatever, nah all it did for me was either A made me ill or B paranoid or C both.
Ok waffle complete, I do struggle to make myself coherent at times so I do apologise. The moral of the story is that theres no magic cure all pill , legal or otherwise that is sustainably safe at least in my opinion.
Be careful with those happy pills because before you know it you'll be in way over your head.
Take care