trouble going to church?
- Thread starter lilbirdy
- Start date
ikemikes15
Member
I haven't been to church in a while, im kind of scared of facing all my cousins and crap, my mom and dad gets mad at me
mienaino
Well-known member
Church is an awful environment for anyone with social anxiety. I've been only a handful of times (mainly for the reason that my understanding of God varies greatly from what any mainstream religious institution has to say), and I've never felt more judged, looked down upon, and alone in a sea of people in my life. Despite that, if you feel you must go, I recommend sitting somewhere in the back, away from anyone who might recognize you. If everyone recognizes you, try a different church.
As for having anxiety over posting online, try using an alternate alias. The draw of the internet for sociophobes is anonymity. If you feel you've developed something of a reputation, or a persona with which you identify, you might fear rejection and scrutiny of your online persona in the same way you would in person.
As for having anxiety over posting online, try using an alternate alias. The draw of the internet for sociophobes is anonymity. If you feel you've developed something of a reputation, or a persona with which you identify, you might fear rejection and scrutiny of your online persona in the same way you would in person.
hi lilbirdy. I went to church today twice with my aunt because i was driving her so she assumed i would go. It was pretty nerve racking for me so I know how you feel. Sitting through the service isn't that bad and I like listening to the sermons but afterwards talking and eating with people or whatever made me pretty nervous and i felt like shit. I'd say if you don't have a problem with going to the service try doing just that and leaving afterwards until you feel comfortable doing more.
FlirtyandDirty
Well-known member
lilbirdy said:
My mum used to go to church every Sunday. She never missed it. My dad's ashes are in the grounds of the church so it became even more important for her to attend as she cold visit my dad. She has not been for two years now and although it is sad, it has to be accepted that it is too hard for her.
Why is it that you want to go to church - is it to feel closer to God? If this is so, then I am sure that God can see how much of a struggle this is for you and will understand that you can not go to "his house" to worship him. I personally don't believe that you need to go to a specific building to worship and pray, but you very well might.
Not long agao I was scared of everything, so I understand that perfectly. But now babe, I can go wherever I want and don't feel fear. I have just completed a college course in counselling and passed. I had no problem mixing with others. I am telling you this in the hope that although you are in that dark place, you will be able to see that there is a way out and the way is there for all of us.
Good luck babe. xxx
LittleMissMuffet
Well-known member
I confess that I feel a little similar. However, much of my social anxiety has to do with what my focus is on. Am I focussed on what others will think of me and concerns about my self, or am I focussed on altruistic thoughts of compassion and peace for everyone including my self.
The Dalai Lama said that a very effective way to instill courage and confidence in yourself is to generate an altruistic motivation for the things you do. For example, if you are feeling nervous around a large group of people -or even with one person- spend some time beforehand contemplating love, compassion, and the sincere wish to benefit others. Filling your mind with concern for others leaves little or no space for egotistical worries like "will they like me?" or "what will happen to me?" so the communication will probably be more successful and satisfying. And even if the outcome is not quite what we hoped for, at least we can feel good about the fact that we acted in an altruistic motivation rather than a self-centred one.
...and what better place to contemplate such values than church? I mean, that is really the whole point of being there. God is not a judgemental God. God does not love conditionally. ...our view of God is very similar to our view of all people. And church should be a place where such values of unconditional acceptance are practised and where, if anything, people would ideally be shamed to judge or reject someone. Church is a refuge where every person should feel accepted, if just by the understanding that God accepts everyone. Forget forgiveness -the true God has nothing to forgive.
Perhaps your view of God, and with it your perception of how the world is, is mistaken and largely focussed on conditional love. And your God is a lesser one. ...well, actually, my belief in God is lesser also.
Maybe you could explore just what you truly believe about God and also what you think peoples' natures really are like. -Is God really judgemental and condemning? Are people judgemental and give their love and approval to you only under certain conditions?
The Dalai Lama said that a very effective way to instill courage and confidence in yourself is to generate an altruistic motivation for the things you do. For example, if you are feeling nervous around a large group of people -or even with one person- spend some time beforehand contemplating love, compassion, and the sincere wish to benefit others. Filling your mind with concern for others leaves little or no space for egotistical worries like "will they like me?" or "what will happen to me?" so the communication will probably be more successful and satisfying. And even if the outcome is not quite what we hoped for, at least we can feel good about the fact that we acted in an altruistic motivation rather than a self-centred one.
...and what better place to contemplate such values than church? I mean, that is really the whole point of being there. God is not a judgemental God. God does not love conditionally. ...our view of God is very similar to our view of all people. And church should be a place where such values of unconditional acceptance are practised and where, if anything, people would ideally be shamed to judge or reject someone. Church is a refuge where every person should feel accepted, if just by the understanding that God accepts everyone. Forget forgiveness -the true God has nothing to forgive.
Perhaps your view of God, and with it your perception of how the world is, is mistaken and largely focussed on conditional love. And your God is a lesser one. ...well, actually, my belief in God is lesser also.
Maybe you could explore just what you truly believe about God and also what you think peoples' natures really are like. -Is God really judgemental and condemning? Are people judgemental and give their love and approval to you only under certain conditions?