xtina_fan81
Well-known member
Ok, so, the person im gonna referring to within this problem will remain anonymous, just fyi.
Basically, i met this person over the internet in november 2005. At that time I knew i had social anxiety, but looking back i dont think it was having the bad effect then than it is now, and i think i was kinda accepting of it, I didnt really have any friends and had no-one i could talk to, so anyway, i liked this person so i told them about my problem, they replied with really nice and helpful words. As soon as this happened, in my mind i must have just thought "this is great, someone who i can talk to and i can reply on to talk to me abd be helpful". I was thinking that instead of actually carrying through the actions that they advised me to do. I was just so glad that all of a sudden i had this amazing thing in my life that someone i could connect with and who i really liked and who i could talk to. So i got attatched to that feeling because its what i longed for. This person was doing the best they could in giving me the advice i seemed to asking for,, but really it was the attention and the feelin that someone "liked" me that i really wanted. So I was telling myself that i was taking on the advice and i was gonna do something about my SA, but really i wasnt. As they have their own life, they coudlnt just talk to me everytime i needed them and bring their life to a halt to help me. I didnt react ery well to this at all. I got bouts of anger and sadness and made suicidal threats to them and accused them of just not giving a crap, which was so not true . they didnt know what to do because they thought they were doing all they could and they were, but because i had a different mindset to what they thought, it just got out of hand. Im posting this because i still have this problem now, although i dont make those threats anymore and i am able to control myself and stop myself from saying certain things so to a degree i hve got better, and im assuming its just gonna take time. As ive been wriitng this ive been switiching bakc and forth to google and looking up some personality disorders and i found Borderline Personality Disorder which basically described everything i have gone though when i read the symptoms, things like "their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike)"... Thats basically what it is. I love this person soo much for what they given me and what theyve tried to do, and i can be thinking that and then the next day they do somethin that makes me angry and i tell myself that i hate them, when really i love them more than anyone!!
If anyone has any more info on Borderline Personality Disorder or experince with it, please let me know becuase im now 98% sure that thats what im dealing with right now.
Thanks for reading
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Basically, i met this person over the internet in november 2005. At that time I knew i had social anxiety, but looking back i dont think it was having the bad effect then than it is now, and i think i was kinda accepting of it, I didnt really have any friends and had no-one i could talk to, so anyway, i liked this person so i told them about my problem, they replied with really nice and helpful words. As soon as this happened, in my mind i must have just thought "this is great, someone who i can talk to and i can reply on to talk to me abd be helpful". I was thinking that instead of actually carrying through the actions that they advised me to do. I was just so glad that all of a sudden i had this amazing thing in my life that someone i could connect with and who i really liked and who i could talk to. So i got attatched to that feeling because its what i longed for. This person was doing the best they could in giving me the advice i seemed to asking for,, but really it was the attention and the feelin that someone "liked" me that i really wanted. So I was telling myself that i was taking on the advice and i was gonna do something about my SA, but really i wasnt. As they have their own life, they coudlnt just talk to me everytime i needed them and bring their life to a halt to help me. I didnt react ery well to this at all. I got bouts of anger and sadness and made suicidal threats to them and accused them of just not giving a crap, which was so not true . they didnt know what to do because they thought they were doing all they could and they were, but because i had a different mindset to what they thought, it just got out of hand. Im posting this because i still have this problem now, although i dont make those threats anymore and i am able to control myself and stop myself from saying certain things so to a degree i hve got better, and im assuming its just gonna take time. As ive been wriitng this ive been switiching bakc and forth to google and looking up some personality disorders and i found Borderline Personality Disorder which basically described everything i have gone though when i read the symptoms, things like "their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike)"... Thats basically what it is. I love this person soo much for what they given me and what theyve tried to do, and i can be thinking that and then the next day they do somethin that makes me angry and i tell myself that i hate them, when really i love them more than anyone!!
If anyone has any more info on Borderline Personality Disorder or experince with it, please let me know becuase im now 98% sure that thats what im dealing with right now.
Thanks for reading
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