too many friends

[Vincent]

Do any of you suffer the anxiety of if you had more friends you wouldn't know how to juggle them?

I worry about that, as I am constantly scared of offending people by not being able to be at the call or put myself out for what they may want. It seems selfish to put myself first. So, having more than one friend makes me feel guilty about not being with the other. Just as when that person is with another i feel envy etc. The old adage; do unto others as you would have them do to you....

that saying makes no sense when one is hypersensitive

 

[Jack-B]

Vincent

It appears to me that you have a really warm heart and want your friends to be happy, thats really great.

Why don't you organise something where you can all get together often, maybe that way you can see everyone and still have good one to ones with each other aswell?

Jack

 

[savage_beagle]

RELAX YOUR MIND..you overthink too much.

It does sound like you are a good caring person...but you are also very sensitize and need to relax your thoughts and not worry about what others think of you. Enjoy your friends, and dont let your own mind overtake you with thoughts of what everyone else will think of your every action. YOU see, we always overthink...constantly over think and over anylize every silly insignificant thing our mind sucks in. Vincent, learn to live in the moment...enjoy the company of your friend(s)...only in your mind is a battle raging. While you are out hanging out with one friend and worrying what your other friend might be thinking of you, your other friend is probably is somewhere enjoying his day...you may not even come into his/her mind until you phone to greet them hello. :wink:

 

[thequietone]

Vincent, I like what you said at the end about "Do unto others as you would have them do to you". Even as a kid, this golden rule used to bug me for the very same reason. When you are hypersensitive, it just doesn't work right.
Since I would rather no one talk to me, I sometimes assume others feel the same way, therefore I don't talk. It's what I would rather them do unto me, right? When I see a stranger crying in public, I might leave them alone, not just because it's easier, but because if I were crying in public I would be so embarrassed if someone came up and tried to comfort me. The rule doesn't really apply because all people are different and want different things! Using the golden rule in such situations are just warped ways to justify my fears.

 

[Diluted_Acid]

Vincent you have a nice name, and you do sound like a very sensitive, caring sorta guy , i too understand how you feel about making more friends and not wanting to offend others, because when you feel kinda alienated, or misplaced in society, it's hard to have a group of friends, however instead . . .. just individual friends. You kinda sound like a one on one guy like me, and my only advice would be, yes, go out there and make more friends if you like, so long as you want them to be your friends. Just keep up to date with others, and i'm sure they won't see you as a selfish, or rude kind of guy. Your friends should probably realise where you coming from as your friendships develop with them, and then at that point you can maybe express how you feel to them. Explaining your problems to friends i find in the longterm works out well, however i do kind of feel self centred and all . . . but then thats just my 2nd negative person trying to steal control of my thoughts :?

 

[todd_louisville_ky]

Bill Cosby had a good saying that I tell myself when I feel what your going through. If you try to make everyone happy, you are destin to fail.
I feel that it helps me some times when I get in a situations like I have a friend who needs help moving the same time my sister needs a ride.

Do any of you suffer the anxiety of if you had more friends you wouldn't know how to juggle them?

I worry about that, as I am constantly scared of offending people by not being able to be at the call or put myself out for what they may want. It seems selfish to put myself first. So, having more than one friend makes me feel guilty about not being with the other. Just as when that person is with another i feel envy etc. The old adage; do unto others as you would have them do to you....

that saying makes no sense when one is hypersensitive