Thinker not feeler

[Moonie]

I've just realized that I think too much, but do not feel enough.

Let me take myself for example. I know that I am a worthwhile person and that I should congratulate myself for what I have accomplished and been through. I know that I really should not put myself down and I know it's riduculous that I do. Yet, I cannot stop myself, I cannot make myself truly feel like I should stop either.

The same things go with my boyfriend. I know that some of the things that I do might be mean and I know that I shouldn't be doing/saying some things, but again, I can not feel it. It's easy for me to recognize how my actions will affect others, but I cannot feel the emotional impact.

My BF is the opposite. He does not think about how his actions will affect me or others. But he is good at feeling. He will genuinely sympathasize with me. He is ruled by emotion, and I am ruled by logic.

~Basically my question is, how can I try to balance myself out more? Do you think you are more of a thinker of feeler? You can even take the personality quiz Meyer-Briggs and see what you score. I am an INTJ and it describes me very well (Introvert/Intuition/Thinking/Judging.)

 

[jennn]

I think that's totally true of me as well, and I hadn't thought about it that way. I can empathize with people but I feel like it's really difficult to find or express genuine emotions. But I don't think it's so much not feeling as just maybe letting the mind get in the way of expressing or truly feeling what we feel. I think maybe it's a fear of losing control of emotions. Probably a lot of people with social anxiety or phobia or whatever are just control freaks. If that makes any sense. Don't know how to change it though.

 

[nimrodel]

That's an interesting post.

I am not sure which I am as I always seem to over-think everything but I am also extremely emotional.

I wonder if people would generally prefer to be a thinker or a feeler though. Personally, I think it is better to be ruled by emotion, rather than logic as it seems to be more sincere.