Tab
Well-known member
I'm feeling depressed tonight for a few reasons and I got no one to share with besides on here. So, my 2 cousins I hang out with a lot are going to some girls cottage in a few weeks and can't go cuz I'm working (go figure). I kinda want to go it might be fun but chances are I'd be bored but everyone will be drunk half the time anyway so it wouldn't really be that awkward.
This leads to my second reason; I'm always working. I don't hate the job but I hate the long hours and everyday is always a different schedule. 9 hours a day, or 40 hours a week and all I wanted was a part time job for the summer. Its not hard work but by the end of the day I am tired and my feet hurt. I'm getting paid minimum wage and I feel like I work for nothing. My 2 cousins, one works with his father and gets $13 an hour the other works construction with his uncle. They are constantly complaining oh ya its so much work, well you know what fuck that they can take breaks when ever they want and no one is going to be on their ass since they work with close family. I cant stop working whenever I feel like it or take the days off I want where as they can. I work harder than both of them put together and they still go on about how hard of a job they have. On top of that one of the guys I was good friends with got moved to a different department cuz him and the manager didn't get along so days go by even slower.
Third reason, I get 2 days a week off. I go to my grandparents house and help them out around the house since they cant do much anymore. when I'm done I'll go across the street and see my other grandparents since they live across from eachother. My grandpa is always fucking around saying oh your not working today or when other people are there hes like Oh he doesn't know what working is. Well fuck that just cuz I didn't start working till I was 19 doesn't mean I don't know anything. The latest thing that happened I was there last week one day and my aunt came over to visit with them and she was like to me o it must be nice to have a day off. Well you know what your fucking husband gets 3 months off and doesn't lift a finger at work or around the house and you don't say dick to him. I hate when people tell me I don't know what tough is. I can tell you what tough is, When your the shyest person at school and suddenly you start being picked on for no reason for the rest of the 12 or so years your at school, then if you can go to secondary school and you cant assimilate into that environment and even though everyday you think its going to be a little better than the last but its not and no matter how hard you try you just cant fit in and you feel like giving up on life but theres still that voice in your head saying hang in there eventually everything will work, THATS tough.
Final reason, I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'll be in my 3rd year of university in the fall and after the 4th I don't know where i'll be. I thought about law school for a while but I can't handle that. My latest phase is I was thinking about a pilot. That probably won't last much longer on account of schooling is expensive and I just know it wont work. I want to travel and see the world but its hard with this and also expensive. I want an interesting job, I swear if I'm working in a store by the time I'm 40 I will shoot myself. I want an actual career not some shitty job where i can barely live off. I want a family, a house, basically I want to have dignity. I want to be able to say I've accomplished something in my life and let the rest of my family see I'm not a loser.
Anyway, You its long but if you've made it this far thanks for reading I really wanted to get this off my chest and maybe other people feel the same way I don't know. :?
This leads to my second reason; I'm always working. I don't hate the job but I hate the long hours and everyday is always a different schedule. 9 hours a day, or 40 hours a week and all I wanted was a part time job for the summer. Its not hard work but by the end of the day I am tired and my feet hurt. I'm getting paid minimum wage and I feel like I work for nothing. My 2 cousins, one works with his father and gets $13 an hour the other works construction with his uncle. They are constantly complaining oh ya its so much work, well you know what fuck that they can take breaks when ever they want and no one is going to be on their ass since they work with close family. I cant stop working whenever I feel like it or take the days off I want where as they can. I work harder than both of them put together and they still go on about how hard of a job they have. On top of that one of the guys I was good friends with got moved to a different department cuz him and the manager didn't get along so days go by even slower.
Third reason, I get 2 days a week off. I go to my grandparents house and help them out around the house since they cant do much anymore. when I'm done I'll go across the street and see my other grandparents since they live across from eachother. My grandpa is always fucking around saying oh your not working today or when other people are there hes like Oh he doesn't know what working is. Well fuck that just cuz I didn't start working till I was 19 doesn't mean I don't know anything. The latest thing that happened I was there last week one day and my aunt came over to visit with them and she was like to me o it must be nice to have a day off. Well you know what your fucking husband gets 3 months off and doesn't lift a finger at work or around the house and you don't say dick to him. I hate when people tell me I don't know what tough is. I can tell you what tough is, When your the shyest person at school and suddenly you start being picked on for no reason for the rest of the 12 or so years your at school, then if you can go to secondary school and you cant assimilate into that environment and even though everyday you think its going to be a little better than the last but its not and no matter how hard you try you just cant fit in and you feel like giving up on life but theres still that voice in your head saying hang in there eventually everything will work, THATS tough.
Final reason, I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'll be in my 3rd year of university in the fall and after the 4th I don't know where i'll be. I thought about law school for a while but I can't handle that. My latest phase is I was thinking about a pilot. That probably won't last much longer on account of schooling is expensive and I just know it wont work. I want to travel and see the world but its hard with this and also expensive. I want an interesting job, I swear if I'm working in a store by the time I'm 40 I will shoot myself. I want an actual career not some shitty job where i can barely live off. I want a family, a house, basically I want to have dignity. I want to be able to say I've accomplished something in my life and let the rest of my family see I'm not a loser.
Anyway, You its long but if you've made it this far thanks for reading I really wanted to get this off my chest and maybe other people feel the same way I don't know. :?