The imperfect world

[thequietone]

Does it ever make you sad that whether we like it or not we have to find our place in this world? That there isn't a world that fits you as you are?
I know I should have realized this by now. I should have toughened up and stepped out of my fantasy world into the world that actually exists. Maybe I'm greedy but I just want more. I look around the world and see a lot of beautiful things, wonderful things, but they are disappearing and seem out of reach. I feel that society is on a downward spiral, that pretty soon everyone will be as dislocated as I am. I don't want that to happen.
Somehow I can't let go of this vague hope that I'll find somewhere to be where I don't have to change myself. Someplace perfect. But perfect is unattainable, isn't it? GRRRR. Sorry for the whiny post. I just feel bad right now. You can ignore me if you want. :roll: Have you ever felt this overwhelming sense that you just aren't meant for the world and vice versa?

 

[Ddarko]

Have you ever felt this overwhelming sense that you just aren't meant for the world and vice versa?

Just about every hour of every day.

I'm somewhat of an existentialist though: life is generally bad, but it's not bad that it's bad. It's not good either. It just is what it is. Though there are certain expectations on the part of society, in the end we are all infinitesimal specks in a vast cosmos, floating somewhere on the edge of an endless space between time and eternity. Birth and death are the two bookends that frame our lives, in the midst of which we can only watch as we are thrown inevitably toward the end of our insignificant, meaningless lives. But somehow there is hope in all this futility, and that is the irony of everything that exists: that because nothing matters, every matters. There is some kind of sublimination in our realization of our own nothingness. To me, this is much less depressing than the way most people live their lives: pathetically adhering to the same ideas, the same delusions of their own self-importance.

 

[thequietone]

because nothing matters, every matters. There is some kind of sublimination in our realization of our own nothingness. To me, this is much less depressing than the way most people live their lives: pathetically adhering to the same ideas, the same delusions of their own self-importance.

Yes, you are right. Thank you for the wise response. My problem is I don't fit into that role, I don't understand the way that most people live thier lives in society. But at the same time I don't accept myself for being different. That's what has to be worked on. Acceptance. Probably the hardest thing to ever do. :roll: Thanks again.

 

[Thelema]

You guys sound so sad Something becomes important when you give importance to it. Everybody has their own world. The guy with a loving wife and a good pay check see's a beautiful world. The poor guy with a broken heart only see's a painful world. Buddhists talk about an end of suffering but that doesn't mean Buddha never cut his finger or stubbed his toe.

I'll tell you a secret. It doesn't matter if a persons religion is true or not. It only matters that the person gets some kind of happiness from believing in it. If you believe God exists then he is real in YOUR world.

I believe everybody has some kind of purpose in life. Nobody can tell you what your purpose is you have to find it yourself. Maybe we are like Bees. A bee has a particular purpose and when it does it it is doing what it was meant to do. I wonder if we are like bees just WAYYYYYY more complex.

100 years from now you could be somebody's hero just for being yourself.

 

[Ddarko]

Happiness... yes, well, you know what Nietzsche says: "only the English want happiness."

On the ultimate existential level, the question I ask is this: who cares about happiness? At first glance, it sounds like a silly question. But when you think about it, it makes perfect sense because only when you forget about happiness do the ideas of being happy and not being happy cease to dominate your life.

When someone says, "be happy... go out and enjoy the world, get a good job and good career and a family," they are talking about a specific form of happiness that may be very limiting. In this way, going after a specific form of happiness may actually make us unhappy. So the problem is that we have limited conceptions of happiness, and this is not good. If we just throw happiness out the window then we'd realize that misery and happiness are just two sides of the same coin. Being depressed is not bad or undesirable because life wouldn't be worth living without sadness and misery. The real state is beyond either misery or happiness, and thus we can't even begin to think about what it could be, which means all we can do is maintain an open mind. The trouble comes when we have preconceived notions of what we want and then we don't get what we want. So when something negative happens, we just have to learn to let go of our expectations. When I'm depressed about my social anxiety or about the fact that things may not be going so well, the only way to avoid regret and transcend our limitations is to relinquish our desire to attain to our own limited conceptions of success and happiness. My opinion is that most people are not really happy; they may think they are happy, but they usually don't know what real happiness is.

Is getting rid of your social anxiety going to fix your life? Not really. It may make things a little better, a little more manageable. But you'll still be looking for happiness even after that, and you may never find it at all. So what to do? Somehow it's right before us all the time, we just have to let go of what we think we want.

That's my personal, philosophical-religious view anyway...

 

[blackcap]

To me it shouldn't matter what makes you happy. As long as you are happy and not hurting anyone else in the process, then that's great. If that means locking yourself in your room playing computer games or watching TV or chatting to people then so be it.

In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter whether you live your life like that, or have 100 friends and socialise all the time. It's society that views the latter as being more acceptable and a much better way to spend your life, and this is what I hate.

I would happily accept my SA and live my life in isolation doing the things I like. The only thing that makes this a problem for me is that it's so hard to live like this. I keep having to make excuses to avoid social events, I have no response to people who ask what I did on the weekend or over the holiday period, etc etc. It just feels like a constant fight, but it's either that, or try to fit in with society by doing things I don't and never will like (socialising).

My perfect world would be one in which my lifestyle is perfectly accetpable.