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Well-known member
Ok this is what I started doing about one year ago to improve my social phobia. If you stick to this plan for just three months you will see some small but significant changes in yourself.
You will get huge improvements from this. As for my experience when I started at level 1 I went to a club which was one hour from my house on the bus and I felt so intimidated that I left teary eyed on my first two goes. Third time I did it. One year on I am at the stage where I go out to bars and clubs three times per week and talk to 10 groups of people. I often tease them and make them laugh. I talk to groups of attractive girls and last weekend I met a girl at the club and went back to her house. I also go to acting classes where I perform in front of people. One year ago when I initiated conversation with people I would go bright red, my eyes would water and I would sweat profusely and wouldn't be able to think of anything to say. So small steps lead to large progress over time but you must have discipline.
This is challenging but everyone can do this if they push themselves. You have to push yourself really hard try not to think about it just throw yourself in.
level 1- Find a bar or pub in your area. Go there four times per week by yourself if you don't have any friends and just sit at the bar for 20 minutes. Order 2 drinks to force you into formal social interaction. When you feel ready go on to level 2.
Level 2- Go to a bar four times per week. Sit at the bar for 20 minutes. Say hi to two random strangers that are next to you. Ask each one 'what are the best clubs in the area?' Then if he/she continues the conversation just say whatever you can think of. If you can't think of anything don't worry its fine.
level 3- go to a bar four times per week and start a conversation with 5 strangers. You can start it with 'Do you know if there are any good clubs around here?' Then try to lead into normal conversation by asking another question then telling a related story. Don't just keep asking questions.
p.s. rejection is 100% normal and very common.
You will get huge improvements from this. As for my experience when I started at level 1 I went to a club which was one hour from my house on the bus and I felt so intimidated that I left teary eyed on my first two goes. Third time I did it. One year on I am at the stage where I go out to bars and clubs three times per week and talk to 10 groups of people. I often tease them and make them laugh. I talk to groups of attractive girls and last weekend I met a girl at the club and went back to her house. I also go to acting classes where I perform in front of people. One year ago when I initiated conversation with people I would go bright red, my eyes would water and I would sweat profusely and wouldn't be able to think of anything to say. So small steps lead to large progress over time but you must have discipline.
This is challenging but everyone can do this if they push themselves. You have to push yourself really hard try not to think about it just throw yourself in.
level 1- Find a bar or pub in your area. Go there four times per week by yourself if you don't have any friends and just sit at the bar for 20 minutes. Order 2 drinks to force you into formal social interaction. When you feel ready go on to level 2.
Level 2- Go to a bar four times per week. Sit at the bar for 20 minutes. Say hi to two random strangers that are next to you. Ask each one 'what are the best clubs in the area?' Then if he/she continues the conversation just say whatever you can think of. If you can't think of anything don't worry its fine.
level 3- go to a bar four times per week and start a conversation with 5 strangers. You can start it with 'Do you know if there are any good clubs around here?' Then try to lead into normal conversation by asking another question then telling a related story. Don't just keep asking questions.
p.s. rejection is 100% normal and very common.
